


when the devils rise

by aizensosuke



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage, Cultural Differences, Developing Relationship, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, M/M, Mild Gore, Mutually Unrequited, Rich People Are Bad, Soul Society Has Problems, Trans As Nodt, Trans Character, Trans Kuchiki Byakuya, Trans Male Character, look it's an arranged marriage au what more can i possibly tag, you can't say you're surprised it's ME
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 51,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizensosuke/pseuds/aizensosuke
Summary: byakuya and renji are saved from certain death by the kindness of the quincy king, an act that exposes the existence of the wandenreich and the quincy who still reside within the shadows of soul society. yhwach's kindness forces the hand of the gotei thirteen and a shaky peace is chosen over all-out war with an enemy they are not prepared for.byakuya grew up a noble. arranged marriage has always lingered over his head. he just never expected himself to stand at the altar with an enemy.





	1. Chapter 1

When they return to the Seireitei, Byakuya is going to march straight to the Twelfth Division barracks and run Kurotsuchi Mayuri through with his sword for giving them the incorrect information about these Hollows. It may not kill the man, but damn it, it will make Byakuya feel better about the situation they have landed in.

“Renji, your right!” Byakuya barely dodges the long, barbed tail of the  _ Adjuchas _ -level Hollow charging at them, his heart beating staccato against his ribs at just how close they are dancing to death. “Keep an eye out on your right side!”

Renji has to leap to avoid the snapping jaws of the second Adjuchas.  _ Second, _ Byakuya thinks bitterly.  _ Since when do Adjuchas attack in packs? _ “Sorry, Taichou!”

The Sixth Division is one of the most highly-trained in the Seireitei, and Byakuya has ensured that none of them will ever step onto the battlefield without being thoroughly prepared for what they might face. Their fighting is a reflection on him as captain, and their success is proof that his methods are functional and that he is performing as best he can for their sakes. But he never thought to train them for something like this.

Adjuchas rarely leave Hueco Mundo. They need to eat each other to survive. Why would there be  _ five _ of them in the Rukongai of all places? What could be here for them?

“Taichou!” Renji yells out to him just as the third Adjuchas, an armored tank of a creature, charges at him, its long and wicked tusks aimed right for him.

It takes only one flash step to gain the upper hand on the creature, Byakuya raising his zanpakuto before him, fingers wrapped tight around the hilt. “Scatter, Senbonzakura.”

The release of the petal-like blades is risky in such close proximity to the rest of his division, but Byakuya has no choice. The Adjuchas howls in agony as Senbonzakura pierces its hierro in several places, spilling blue blood down its sides. It drips into the earth below, steadily darkening it, and Byakuya darts swiftly away to give himself more space.

They should never have been sent into a mission such as this without more captains present. He can handle these creatures, but his men should not be anywhere  _ near _ them.

_ They have too much intelligence, _ he thinks, raising Senbonzakura over his head as the petals gather back into their more solid shape. The Adjuchas roars in rage and swings its mighty head, but it can no longer see. After all, Byakuya aimed for its eyes.  _ They are too clever in battle. I could never have trained my men adequately enough to handle them. _

Zabimaru slices through the air and catches one of the Adjuchas, cracking the center of its mask almost enough to count. Byakuya has to duck beneath the whipping length so he can land smoothly on the Adjuchas he has wounded, delivering the final blow. He leaps off of it just as swiftly while it breaks down into spiritual matter, hoping the souls it devoured will be able to find some sense of peace now that they are freed from the darkness.

He wonders, not for the first time, about the ethics of allowing the Arrancar to survive.

“Renji, tell the men to fall back.” Byakuya flash steps to his lieutenant’s side, eyeing the thin trail of blood that dribbles from Renji’s temple. Did Senbonzakura do this? Or was it one of the Adjuchas? “They aren’t cut out for this battle. They can’t stay here.”

Though he doubtless knows Byakuya’s word is true, Renji’s face crumples into one of doubt. “We can’t handle them alone, and any reinforcements wouldn’t get here fast enough.”

That much is true. Byakuya knows this. “Get them out of here. I can fight alone until you return. My shunpo is fast enough to keep me one step ahead of them.”

“Taichou…” Renji drags his teeth over his lip, twisting his head away. “Fine. Retreat!”

This may be one of the first times Renji has not argued with him about a dangerous direct order, and Byakuya makes a mental note to reward him for that as he throws himself back into the fray. His men look torn between remaining by his side and following orders, but Byakuya sends them swift and stern looks as he ducks and weaves around them, knicking the hierro of each Adjuchas to keep their attention on him.  _ Only look at me. Not them. _

He is confident he can keep them occupied long enough for Renji to come back to his side.

As soon as his men are free of the area, Byakuya plants the tip of his zanpakuto against the ground and releases his bankai. He can use it freely now that no one he cares for will be caught in the crossfire. This should be enough to buy him time if not win the battle.

It has to be enough. This is all Byakuya has to drawn on now that he is alone.

The Adjuchas are all inhumanly large beasts, armored in white bone and armed to be vicious beasts and fighters, a stark reminder that all of them are predators. Byakuya has to keep his wits about him, ducking beneath the whipping tail, dodging the jaws. There are still four of them left and he knows he will be reprimanded for behaving so foolishly in such a situation, for allowing himself to be egotistical enough to believe this would work.

After he runs Kurotsuchi through with his sword, he will accept any punishment dealt him.

_ Not quite, _ he thinks, dodging just as one of the Adjuchas fires a Cero that leaves a burnt divot cut into the earth.  _ You’re going to have to try harder to keep up with me. _

The flash of blades through the air is enough to confuse and irritate his enemies, and he manages to deal a killing blow to one of them while he dodges the attack of a second. Using his bankai in such a situation is difficult and dangerous, and he is just as likely to catch himself if he is not careful enough. Not that these creatures allow for that kind of thinking, but he has to. He has to do whatever he needs to do to survive.

The whip-like tail catches him around the ankle when he falters for a moment, yanking him off of the earth and slinging him into the armored side of another Adjuchas.

Pain sharp and white hot shoots through his entire body and he hisses as he pushes himself to his feet, flexing the arm caught between his body and the Adjuchas. Nothing feels broken but he will be bruised enough to warrant a trip to the Fourth.  _ Just what I needed. _

“Taichou!” Renji’s voice is a welcome sound and Byakuya has to move sharply to the side to avoid Zabimaru’s bite. He did not feel Renji release his bankai but now the skeletal snake head snaps shut on the Adjuchas, ripping a scream from its throat. Blood soaks the ground. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you okay? I saw you get thrown and—”

“There will be time for that later. For now, fight,” Byakuya intructs, an Renji shuts up.

The two of them fight together like they were always meant to be partners in battle, their styles complementing one another. It takes more focus to make sure that Renji is not caught in any of Senbonzakura’s attacks, as bankai is so much stronger than shikai, and so much more deadly, and Byakuya has to utilize his flash step to avoid the skeletal length of Zabimaru’s bankai. But they know one another well enough that it is no problem for either of them, rather just as natural as taking another breath to live.

There is no one else Byakuya would have as his lieutenant other than Abarai Renji.

They take down the final Adjuchas together and Byakuya winces as he examines the wet patch on the back of his haori, taking in the stain left by Hollow blood. “I believe Soutaichou will have my head on a platter for damaging another haori in such a way.”

“Couldn’t avoid it. He should just be happy we took those bastards down.” Renji draws Zabimaru back into his zanpakuto, propping the blade up against one shoulder as he surveys the area around them. “It could have been worse, right? At least no one died.”

“Why would there have been Adjuchas this far out in the Rukongai? They do not devour human souls in order to sustain themselves.” Byakuya frowns as he draws Senbonzakura back into his zanpakuto as well, wiping the blade off on his already-ruined haori before sheathing him once more. If he is already going to be in trouble, why not?

Renji raises an eyebrow at him. “I couldn’t tell ya. Never really thought much about that.”

“I suppose it isn’t our mystery to solve in the end. There is little we can do other than kill them.” Byakuya glances around the area, reassuring himself that no one was caught in the battle. All of the Rukongai citizens had been evacuated before they could be injured.

The fact none of them were injured when the Sixth arrived only proves Byakuya’s point. A true Hollow would have at least claimed a life by then, would have devoured a soul with no means of protecting themself from such harm. Adjuchas must devour other Hollows in order to maintain their status or they risk devolving into a Menos Grande. So why—

“Taichou!” Renji’s voice startles him, and he swings his head to see what Renji has.

Sharp, piercing agony shoots through his entire body. The scythe-like arm of the Adjuchas is buried in his gut up to the elbow, the creature’s laugh a chattering sound. “Looks like you miscounted after all, shinigami. And now it’s going to cost you.”

The Adjuchas yanks its arm out of his gut and flies at Renji, slicing at his face so quickly and suddenly that Byakuya hardly has time to process its speed as he sinks down to his knees. Blood makes the black of his kosode turn blacker, staining his obi. _Another thing for Yamamoto to complain about,_ he thinks needlessly, pressing a hand to the wound, a choked noise gurgling out of him at how much that _hurts._ _Did it go all the way through?_

_ I never told Rukia how proud of her I was for finally becoming lieutenant. _

He hits the earth with a thud that jars his entire body, landing half-twisted onto his side, his arms weak and useless and unable to catch him. Blood spills from the wound onto the earth, staining his pale fingers and further sullying his haori.  _ Am I dying? _ He wonders this with a vague kind of certainty, knowing that he can heal no such wound, that Renji can hardly manage basic kido without injuring himself. This wound is going to kill him.

Is he truly meant to die because he missed on the one small Adjuchas in the group?

The thought is laughable. Always so careful, so poised, so perfect. Always striving to be the absolute best he could be no matter what it cost him, to follow all of the rules and all of the protocol because it was how things were meant to be. All of that for nothing, because he failed to notice one small monster among a hoard of large monsters, because he failed to see it and thus realize what the most serious threat of all would be.

Renji’s scream of anguish forces him to move his head, his eyes blowing wide at the sight of Renji thrown back, the front of his uniform torn open to reveal sliced, bleeding flesh as he crumples to the ground.  _ Is one monster going to fell both of us? That easily? _

It is almost laughable how easily members of the Gotei Thirteen have been cut down.

Renji flings Zabimaru up in front of him to ward off the Adjuchas’s blows and Byakuya forces himself to press his hands into the earth, raising himself on trembling limbs. “Senbonzakura,” he chokes out, blood spraying the air before him, misting there. “You—”

His eyes dart toward the shadow he casts on the ground when he realizes it is moving.

The shadow creeps further out from his body and then  _ rises _ impossible, and his mouth falls open as a shape uncurls itself slowly until a person stands next to him, stark white uniform and stark black hair. Byakuya has to crane his head up to look at the man properly, pale face hidden away behind a black leather mask lined with spikes.

“Well, well,” the man says, his voice light and soft, a deceptive sound against the sharpness of his wide, dark eyes, “imagine a day when we have to save a shinigami captain.”

“Don’t fuck around, As. You heard his Majesty. We cut it down, we get them back to the Seireitei.” The second voice is gruffier, but Byakuya no longer has the strength to move his head far enough to see. “It’s not even that big. How did it get the upper hand?”

Speaking is difficult, but Byakuya tries. “Smaller than the others… We didn’t see—”

“You can stop speaking, shinigami-taichou. We did not ask for you to explain the situation to us.” The man next to him stretches out one delicate hand, slender fingers carding through Byakuya’s hair. “You have done well. Rest, or you will likely bleed out.”

Byakuya wants to argue with him, but his trembling arms give out, and his head lands on the dirt next to the man’s boot. All he can do is lie and watch as the man advances forward.

The air around him shimmers for a moment and Byakuya narrows his eyes as he tries to focus, widening them when he watches the shimmer harden into… Thorns? Of reishi? What kind of ability is this? He racks his exhausted brain but comes up short, but panic nearly chokes him when the Adjuchas turns its attention to the advancing figure. It lets out a whoop of excited laughter and charges forward, eagerly intent on dispatching another foe.

The thorns rip through the air and pierce its hierro in a single strike, and it  _ screams. _

“Do not test me, Hollow. I have no care for such games.” The man takes a step forward and Byakuya swears he sees the air beneath the man’s feet glitter for just a moment— And then he’s gone, beside the Adjuchas. “I must admit that hiding in the shadows has its positive points, though. There is much you can do when you hide in the darkness.”

The Adjuchas swings its sickle-like arm at the man and Byakuya watches in wonder as the man merely lifts his arm. White fabric splits but the flawless white of his skin remains unharmed, though Byakuya can see a faint blue glow beneath his skin.  _ What is that? _

“What the fuck are you?” The Adjuchas only manages this one sentence before its legs give way beneath it, its entire body trembling as a fierce cry rips from its throat.

The other speaker finally steps into view, one hand propped on his hip, the lurid magenta of his mohawk catching Byakuya’s eyes. “Hey, that’s gotta be a record for withstanding your shit. Most of the Hollows you’ve hit with that can’t last a second. Looks like not even the terrifying As Nodt can take down every Hollow from a distance.”

“It’s not a normal Hollow, Bazz. It’s an Adjuchas.” The man— As Nodt— plants his foot on the back of the great creature, forcing it down against the dirt. “Put it out of its misery.”

Byakuya is speechless when the mohawked man takes stance, raises his hand to aim at the Hollow, and shoots fire from the end of his finger. It shoots right through the creature’s mask, killing it instantly, and it crumbles into dust beneath As Nodt’s boot. The sudden silence across the battlefield leaves Byakuya uneasy, as if something more is meant to happen. He looks for his lieutenant, gut churning when he sees Renji lying prone on the ground with Zabimaru resting in his limply-curled hand. Is he still alive?

The moment Byakuya moves, pain blooms hot in his gut again and he grits his teeth against the pain, tasting nothing but copper on his tongue. It draws the attention of the two men. The mohawked man only lazily moves toward Renji, picking him up and slinging him over his shoulder as if he weighs nothing. Renji’s lack of argument is worrying.

If Byakuya got his lieutenant killed, he will never be able to forgive himself.

“Well, that took no time.” The mohawked man glances at Byakuya and then whistles. “He’s gored right through. I think I can see his fucking intestines just from here.”

As Nodt rolls dark eyes as he advances on Byakuya, white cape swirling around his ankles with every step. “You have no tact.” When he stops next to Byakuya’s body, though, the man frowns. “Ah, but the injury is that severe. His Majesty was correct. My apologies, shinigami-taichou, but you are not going to like how I will have to bind that wound.”

Byakuya stares up at him. “Wh-what are—” He cuts himself off, choking up more blood.

The mohawked man sighs. “Hands above your head. He’s gonna have to cover that shit up to keep you from dying on the way back to your city. You wanna live? You want your lieutenant here to live? Then shut the fuck up and do what I tell you to do. Or you can just die.”

The coarse tone reminds Byakuya too much of Renji and another he does not want to think about right now, but he acquiesces, lifting his hands above his head even as his vision begins to swim grey. He doesn’t realize the mohawked man is moving until his boot  _ grinds _ into Byakuya’s wrists, raising a wordless shout from his lips as pain sings through his body.

“Our apologies, but this is the only way.” As removes his cloak, gathering the white fabric up in his hands, balling it up—  _ Oh gods, it’s going to hurt more than anything else. _ “If I do nothing, your organs will fall out of your body. This is the only way to pack the wound.”

He  _ crams _ the fabric into the hole in Byakuya’s gut, the agony almost the last thing he remembers before darkness claims his vision, leaving him to the mercy of these two strangers. The true last thing is the word that finally settles at the forefront of his mind as he puzzles out what those reishi thorns could have meant.

_ Quincy. _


	2. Chapter 2

Hirenkyaku is an advanced technique and one that it takes several years of training and mastery to be able to perfect especially when moving quickly and with the dead weight of another person leaning heavily on the back. But As Nodt is a member of the Sternritter, an elite squadron of soldiers, and his Majesty viewed him as special enough to give him a second chance to show his strength and ability and everything he is capable of. This is not exactly what he had in mind when he took the time to learn the skills from Haschwalth.

“Would you slow the fuck down?” Bazz’s loud complaints draw a sigh from his lips but he does not stop moving at his current speed, summoning the concentrated reishi beneath his feet and leaping nimbly from platform to platform with a speed that would outstrip many shinigami. “It’s not like he’s gonna die if his Majesty said he was going to survive!”

As throws a derisive noise over his shoulder. “If we follow his instructions to the letter, both of them will survive. Keep your eyes on where you are walking so you do not fall.”

“I don’t know why he cares so much. Since when do Quincy go out of their way to save a fucking shinigami’s life?” Bazz spits the words out with more poison than As can manage on his best days, which is impressive. He has a lot of bitterness down in his heart.

“It isn’t our place to question such things.” As focuses his attention on the reishi. Luckily, Soul Society has enough of it to make such travel simple. “Now turn your attention ahead.”

The power of the Almighty is beyond him, though he knows to follow the directions given to them by his Majesty with no alterations in the plan. No shortcuts, no changes of direction, nothing but putting one foot in front of the other and keeping to the direction they were told to follow. The path that will lead them to the Fourth division building.

Hopefully, the shinigami will be intelligent enough to realize the emergency at hand.

“The reishi’s too fucking  _ thick,” _ Bazz says, and As winces and nods in agreement.

“It is making it very difficult not to consider our Vollstandig as better travel options,” he admits. It would be faster and simpler, to have wings and fly freely, but he knows the risk such a choice carries. “We are almost there, of that much I am certain. There is the wall.”

There is no way for the guardians of the Seireitei to prohibit them from entering, but he and Bazz prepared for this and their reiatsu surges nearly violently as they pass over the top of the wall. It flattens the guards below and allows them quicker and safer passage as they pass into the part of Soul Society belonging to the wealthy. Such a concept is beyond As; Yhwach is their king, but he has never left any of them to suffer in such poverty.

Distantly, he wonders how often the residents of the Rukongai are devoured or slain by Hollows while the shinigami take their time getting to the scene of the incident.

Their speed keeps them well ahead when their are finally shinigami who notice their presence and they land smoothly on their feet in front of the building belonging to the Fourth division. It is only seconds before they are surrounded by soldiers, but again, they were prepared for such a thing. As merely remains still, his eyes trained firmly in front of him on the doors, the corners of his lips twitching beneath his leather mask.

“We need to get in,” Bazz says plainly, slapping the back of the unconscious lieutenant draped across his shoulder. “My shoulder’s going to sleep and I’m gonna drop him.”

One of the shinigami with her blade drawn, a young woman with petal pink hair, lowers her blade as her eyes widen. “That’s Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai-fukutaichou! What happened?”

“Your captain and lieutenant were gravely injured in a battle with an Adjuchas-level Hollow on the outskirts of the Rukongai,” As says as plainly as he can, though there is a level of strain in his voice just the same. The weight of the man at his back is severe. “Please allow us to leave them with your capable medical division so that they will not perish.”

Bazz clears his throat. “I mean, unless you  _ want _ them to die, but that’s on your heads.”

The doors of the Fourth division building finally creak open and the young woman who hurries down the steps is, indeed, the woman they were warned about.  _ She may look young and seem kind, but make no mistake. Unohana Yachiru will always be a killer. _

“What has happened here?” The voice of Unohana Retsu is bright and soft and As could almost allow himself to be tricked by the sound of it. Except, at the very least, he knows better. “Oh, dear. Please bring them in. It appears there is no time to waste.”

“I don’t think it’s safe, Unohana-taichou,” one of the men replies, his steely eyes trained on As, his hands unwavering, his zanpakuto steady. “They disarmed our wall guards with their reiatsu and could travel on gathered reishi. There’s something very odd about them.”

Dark blue eyes flicker with surprise. “Well, you can question them later. For now, it is of the utmost importance that we care for Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai-fukutaichou.”

The command in her voice is subtle but there nonetheless, and though the men do not disperse from the courtyard-like area, they allow As and Bazz to pass by them with no further comment. As is grateful; the shinigami on his back is heavy, and though he is physically capable of handling what it takes to maintain his Vollstandig, this is a bit much even for him. At least the shinigami will live. Their mission has been accomplished.

Unohana leads them to an empty room and allows them to deposit the unconscious shinigami on the prepared beds, and As feels much lighter already. Just as he opens his mouth to tell Bazz they can most likely return to the Wandenreich now— they only need to fade into the shadows, and the room has many— a surge of familiar reiatsu melts the words on his tongue like spun sugar. His eyes dart toward the window in the room though he can see no physical disturbance in the landscape. He can only feel that well-known presence.

“What happened?” Unohana is careful as she unpacks the cape from the shinigami captain’s stomach, her hands already glowing with healing kido as she gets to work on him.

As leans stiffly against the wall, feeling the back of his uniform sticking to his skin. Most likely wet where blood has soaked through the edge of his cape. “An Adjuchas attacked them when they were unprepared. That wound is the result of its bladed arm.”

“I see.” Unohana’s face flickers with concern as she bends over the captain, and a white-haired woman hurries into the room. “Isane, please begin working on Abarai.”

The silence in the room is pleasant and the healing kido releases a much more vibrant energy into the area than the stale almost-death that has been crushing As’s body for the last few minutes or so. He rolls his shoulders to work the stiffness out of them and flexes his hand, long fingers curling and uncurling as the black polish on his nails catches the light. There are tiny flecks of glitter in the paint, something he is used to.

Giselle has particular tastes when it comes to makeup. As lets her do what she wants to.

“Did he tell you he was coming to Soul Society?” Bazz asks, crouching down next to As’s boots, leaning against the wall. “He sure as fuck didn’t tell  _ me _ he was doing this.”

“No one ever tells you anything,” As tells him, and Bazz flips him off without looking at him.

His face is haggard, though, and As feels some sympathy for that. Up until Bazz decides to open his mouth again, of course. “Jugo should have at least told me about this.”

“Haschwalth is our commander and has no loyalty toward us in comparison to his loyalty toward his Majesty,” As corrects him, and Bazz just looks up at him. His expression is hard to read, not that As cares. “It is what it is. You agreed to it to become a Sternritter.”

“Yeah. I guess so.” Bazz sits down firmly on the ground and heaves a harsh sigh.

As has worked alongside the Sternritter for as long as he has been among their rates. When Yhwach gave him the power to free himself from the hospital bed where he thought he would spend the rest of his days, it meant learning how to work within a team of people who seemed to not be on great terms with one another. It also meant accepting his position as a Sternritter. It meant understanding what it would mean to allow Haschwalth to have command of him, to follow orders and to work with others to fulfill those orders.

It annoys him all the more when Bazz has to make this difficult for all of them. Just because of his personal issues with Haschwalth, he has no right to make life difficult for the rest of them. The least he can do is just follow orders as given to them.

“Excuse me.” Unohana turns her eyes to them and As arches a brow at her silently. “Would you like to explain who the two of you are and what you happen to be doing here?”

“His Majesty will do that for us. There’s no need for us to explain,” As says.

The white-haired woman— Isane— frowns at him, though her skilled kido does not so much as flicker once. “I think you shouldn’t brush Unohana-taichou off so flippantly. You are only not in custody because of her kindness. We deserve to know what you’re doing here.”

“We were told where to show up and how we would need to proceed in order to keep your comrades from dying.” This is such a waste of time. As wonders if the other shinigami will be so obstinate. “It is out of our hands. I can’t tell you how his Majesty foresaw such events because I do not understand the extent of his powers. We merely did what he told us to do and acted as we were instructed. As for what we are, is that not clear?”

Unohana returns her attention to the captain. “Of course it is. You are Quincy.”

“Quincy?” Isane swings her head around toward her captain. “What did you just say?”

“We believed the Quincy to be destroyed during the war, but it appears we were wrong.” Unohana’s lips twitch at the corners, though As is unable to read any vitriol in her gentle expression. Perhaps she is as adept at hiding her reactions as Yhwach suggested.

Isane’s eyes widen. “Unohana-taichou, maybe we should apprehend them—”

“Their leader appears to be within the Seireitei now based on the reiatsu level we felt moments ago.” Unohana shakes her head gently. “We should wait. A hell butterfly would have arrived by now if our guests were meant to be taken into custody.”

“We have no intention of fighting as we were told to simply wait for further instruction once we brought your fallen comrades here,” As says, not intending to give them the room necessary to turn him and Bazz into villainous men. “It appears that his Majesty has chosen to reveal our existence to your military, so we are content to wait here.”

“Very well.” Unohana takes a step away from the bed the captain rests in, and As studies the pale, vulnerably skin of his restored midsection. “Kuchiki-taichou’s reiatsu is still weak and will need time to restore itself, but he will survive. It is the best I can do given that I am certain my presence will be requested shortly. Isane, how is Abarai-fukutaichou?”

Isane takes a similar step away from the bed bearing the red-haired lieutenant. “He’s fine. He wasn’t in as bad of shape. Are you sure it’s fine for us to leave them with these two?”

“If they had wanted to kill Kuchiki-taichou, it would have been much easier to do so when he still had a hole gored through his stomach.” Unohana picks up the red ruined bundle of As’s cape and smiles serenely. “I will turn this over to be laundered. You’re welcome to rest here until you are called away, or you may go now. It is of no difference to me.”

“We will wait,” As tells her, and Unohana’s eyes glitter slightly.

A moment later, a black butterfly requesting the presence of both Unohana and Isane arrives, and the two leave the room behind, allowing a silence to settle over the space. As walks around the bed of the shinigami captain to peer out the window, though he can see no familiar white uniforms and assumes most of their people must be waiting as he and Bazz are now. Maybe his back will feel normal once more by the time they are called.

“Well,” Bazz finally says, “what was the point of telling them that we’re still around?”

As glances back over his shoulder, watching his fellow Quincy stretch his legs out in front of him. “What do you mean? What was his end goal? Of that, I have no idea.”

“I get the whole  _ he works in mysterious ways _ bullshit we’ve been fed since the beginning, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try to figure it out on my own anyway.” Bazz looks at him, and As can feel the annoyance rolling off of him in the shape of his flickering reiatsu. It takes little to upset Bazz, after all. His temper matches the flames of the Heat.

In keeping with this, As has learned to translate the ice of the Fear into his very being. “Try not to give yourself a headache doing that, then. His Majesty knows what he is doing. He sees all versions of the future possible, so we knows how to achieve his outcome.”

“And where do we fall in with all that?” Bazz asks, and As falls silent. Truth be told, he does not know. He only does what he is told and trusts Yhwach as he must.

Behind him, the shinigami captain stirs and As tilts his head to watch the man curiously. His Majesty told them that the two they would save were a captain and lieutenant pair who served a division whose code was honor, but As was so uninterested in the details that he thought to ask for no more. If it was important, his Majesty would tell them. Their rank was important so their skill level could be accounted for; their code was important because it might cause tension if they wanted to cause trouble. Everything else does not matter.

As never even thought to ask for their names. Why would he need to know them?

The shinigami captain’s eyes open slowly. Pale grey like the sky on a particularly overcast day, they move slowly around the room before landing on As, peeking at him from beneath the black splay of long lashes. Perhaps the light in the room is too bright for him.

“You.” The captain pauses, then clears his throat and tries again. His voice comes out stronger this time. “You were the one who saved my life.”

As inclines his head slightly. “I was instructed to do so. You are correct.”

“Thank you.” The shinigami blinks his eyes open properly, hands moving carefully over the mattress, pressing down on its surface as if to check the strength in his arms before he tries to sit up. “That power you used… I’ve seen that power before. But not in that form.”

Ah, so he was conscious enough to make sense of As’s reishi thorns. “I am afraid you will never encounter a power like mine. I am the only one who can use it as I do.”

“Great,” Bazz calls out from the floor, “he’s just as fucking cryptic as you are.”

The shinigami captain pins his eyes on As, and there is a sense of coldness in that calculating gaze, as if deciding if As is an enemy and how he can dispatch him. “You are a Quincy. Your ability can be simplified down into manipulating reishi. I saw this.”

“Correct,” As tells him. “I am a member of the Sternritter. A faction of the Quincy race.”

The captain heaves a sigh. “Well, Quincy or not, I must express my gratitude. You saved my life, and the life of my lieutenant. It would be wrong not to—”

As holds up a hand, pleased when the shinigami stops speaking, lips pressed together into a thin line. “Relax. We’re simply awaiting our next orders, and you should be resting. There is no need to strain yourself to thank someone you would rather dispatch quickly in combat rather than speak to. Go back to lying down, shinigami-taichou.”

“Kuchiki Byakuya.” The captain eyes him before lying back down, one hand moving toward the expanse of his stomach, fingers splayed across the vulnerable space. “That is my name. It carries a lot of weight in the Seireitei, and for now, you have my gratitude.”

“I see.” As turns back toward the window, no longer interested in the conversation. What does a shinigami’s name mean to him, after all? Or the Seireitei? Or gratitude?  _ I only followed orders, Kuchiki Byakuya. You likely will not see me after this day. _

When the second black butterfly arrives to inform the captain to come to the captains’ meeting and to bring As and Bazz with him, though, there is no ignoring the small doubt in the back of As’s mind that things are going to be as simple as he would like them to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we love characters with the most awkward meet-cutes of all times.


	3. Chapter 3

Arranged marriages are a necessary part of a noble’s life, leveraged to continue peace between families, create alliances, and maintain political power. Ever since he was a young child, Byakuya understood he was likely to be married off to someone he did not know and did not love in a romantic fashion in order to fulfill the duties of his clan.

His parents were alive when he married Hisana, and so he was allowed to have some peace and some happiness for a short period of time as his father led the clan. Her death preceded theirs by a mere handful of months, something that continues to haunt Byakuya every day he draws closer to the anniversary of her death. A day that occurs three days from now, something he cannot forget as he stands stiffly with the rest of the Gotei Thirteen and listens to Yamamoto Genryusai inform him of the current state of affairs.

“In the past, our lack of an agreement caused an immense war with many casualties. There are obvious reasons to want to avoid this once more.” Yamamoto sounds exhausted, but Byakuya has little pity for him given how worn his body is. How close was he to death? “It is important that civilians believe we are sharing a united front with the Quincy.”

Byakuya presses his lips together at the notion but does not otherwise allow any of his facial muscles to betray his feelings about this subject.  _ This has always been a part of my life, _ he reasons.  _ I knew I would end up marrying someone I did not love. _

Unlike many clan heads and noble men, he has the bittersweet memories of true love still tucked away into the safest chambers of his heart. He can bear this burden with that in mind, and with the safety of Soul Society at the forefront of his core beliefs.

The Quincy king, Yhwach, is a powerfully imposing man standing even taller than Zaraki Kenpachi, but his voice is not unkind when he speaks. “If this is truly the only way your people would accept mine, I would discuss it with my people to obtain their consent. Forcing them to do anything against their will does not suit my purpose.”

“And what is your purpose?” Yamamoto asks, and to Byakuya, his voice sounds curious.

“To keep the Quincy alive,” Yhwach answers simply, and that… Is far, Byakuya supposes. What other goals would a king have? “I would have my men work aside yours. If we cannot kill the Hollows as it would permanently destroy their souls, the least we can do is redirect their attention away from innocents until shinigami reinforcements can arrive.”

Sasakibe inclines his head slightly. “This was not a foolproof plan in the past. Can you guarantee that your men would not go against your word and kill Hollows anyway?”

“If you had a plan in the past that I was not a part of, the blame cannot be placed on me.” Yhwach smiles, and Byakuya takes a slow, deep breath to remain calm. “They will not disobey me. They will fight to defend and protect but not to maim and kill.”

Yamamoto’s eyes are on Byakuya in an instant and he  _ knows _ what will be asked, prepared to take responsibility for his foolishness in front of his fellow captains. “Kuchiki Byakuya, is it true that the two Quincy men who accompanied you to this meeting saved your life?”

“They saved my life and that of my lieutenant. An Adjuchas-level Hollow utilized the large size of its companions in order to escape my notice.” Byakuya bows his head; he can feel Sui-Feng’s judgmental gaze on the back of his neck. “It was my mistake. But it is true that the two of them came and were able to dispatch the Hollow when we ourselves could not.”

Behind him, Renji shifts on his feet. Still exhausted from being woken and likely sporting a bruised ego to accompany his misgivings about the situation as it stands. Byakuya can hardly blame him. The two of them are often viewed differently after Rukia’s near execution and the journey to Hueco Mundo, so they have a reputation to uphold. And on this day, both of them failed to achieve their singular goal of reaping the Hollows.

“Using Quincy ability in order to kill Hollows is expressly forbidden,” Yamamoto says, and Byakuya winces slightly as he straightens back up. “However, I understand the situation was not ideal. In a positive circumstance, what would the goal have been?”

Yhwach turns to the slender, dark-haired man who carried Byakuya to the Fourth on his back. The man who saved his life albeit by painful and rudimentary means. “As Nodt, explain to the Soutaichou how you would have dealt with the situation otherwise.”

“I would have incapacitated the Hollow so it was not a threat and allowed Kuchiki-taichou to finish it off.” As speaks with a soft but distinct voice, though his words are muffled by the leather mask bound to the lower part of his face. Obscuring his mouth and nose.

Smiling, Yhwach turns back to Yamamoto. “There you have it. Quincy possess many interesting abilities beyond the simple and antiquated methods you have witnessed as performed by the young man you described to me earlier. We have methods that allow us to use reishi to bind enemies as well. One of my Sternritter has a power that specifically allows him to cage other beings. We could be of great help to Soul Society.”

Yamamoto lifts his chin. “And your goal is the preservation of the Quincy race. Is your goal also to preserve humanity? I recall this being an important talking point centuries ago.”

“Of course. Humans are, for the most part and with few exceptions, helpless to defend themselves.” Yhwach spreads his hands before him, palms up. “We seek only to protect them so there are not unnecessary casualties. I think this is a noble goal in and of itself.”

Bureaucracy is an important part of serving as a member of the Gotei Thirteen, but Byakuya finds his eyes drifting to As Nodt as the conversation between the king and his own commander continues. When he first opened his eyes in the Fourth, his attention was drawn to the Quincy immediately. Stories about the Quincy war are common enough in older members of Soul Society with most of the Quincy being described as fierce warriors, but he receives no such energy from As. Rather, he seems… Quiet and withdrawn into himself, somewhat mysterious. His large dark eyes betray nothing of his emotion.

He reminds Byakuya of himself, and he is not sure if the image is flattering or not.

When Yamamoto sighs deeply, Byakuya forces himself to pay attention once more. “Such marriage is common amongst the nobles. It stands as a symbol, and I think it would be perhaps the only adequate way for anyone in the Seireitei to accept your presence.”

The expressions on the faces of the other captains belies how many of them believe that the Quincy should not  _ be _ present in Soul Society, but Byakuya remains quiet. If they can assist in stopping the deaths of innocents, perhaps they could be important allies.

In the very back of his mind, he admits to himself he wants to learn more about this quiet and mysterious man, and allowing him to remain near is the only way to do so. Is it so strange to want to know more about the stranger who saved his life for no reason other than he was told to do so? And  _ how _ could Yhwach have known they needed to be saved?

“If I may, Soutaichou?” Byakuya finds his voice and Yamamoto nods once, allowing him to continue. “It is common among nobles to choose partners based on the benefits such a union would allow. The most fruitful unions are one of our core goals. I would willingly submit myself to such an arrangement if it meant that our civilians would be at peace.”

_ It is the duty of the Gotei Thirteen to protect the civilians. This is merely one way. _

“Your willingness is appreciated, Kuchiki-taichou.” Yamamoto looks back to Yhwach, who nods solemnly. “As there is no singular head of all noble families, I assume that you yourself would be removed from this process. Will it be your Sternritter who proceed?”

Yhwach’s smile is enigmatic. “If it was a matter entirely up to me, I would be willing to do what it took to ensure Soul Society sees us as nothing more than allies. However, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that I already have a soul-deep bond with my right hand. Jugram Haschwalth and I are two halves of one whole. There could be no other for me.”

The comment has Byakuya’s eyes darting around the small group of Quincy before his gaze settles on the man who raises his head proudly, pale green eyes sharp as daggers as he looks toward Yamamoto. So the two of them believe in soulmates? The sentiment is oddly endearing. After all, Byakuya is still certain to this day he was meant to find Hisana and to have her grace and warmth become a part of his life, even if only for a short while.

It gets him through the nights when he finds himself alone in his private quarters.

“If there is any equivalent to the noble houses in the Wandenreich,” Yhwach continues, “it would be my Sternritter. They are direct bearers of my power and I value them greatly for their skills and their talent. They have authority over the rest of my people as a result. It is seen as a great honor among the Quincy to be counted as one of them.”

Yamamoto is quiet for a moment before he speaks. “Then I will allow the nobles who are already wed to remove themselves from this situation. We will speak to the noble houses and obtain their consent for such a motion, and if it comes to pass on both sides, then it shall be so. Kuchiki-taichou’s willingness will go a long way in convincing many of them.”

_ I will look like quite the fool if all of the Sternritter refuse to agree to this, _ Byakuya thinks, though there is no way to take back the agreement without looking worse now.

To his surprise, it is Jugram Haschwalth who replies. “Perhaps if we had some symbol of unity to present to both of our people, it would be easier to convince everyone involved.”

“A symbol of unity,” Yhwach echoes. “I would not ask anyone to make snap judgments on this situation, but that would be a preference. Having someone on both sides who agree.”

Haschwalth shakes his head. “Further than that. If we could locate two individuals who are willing to present themselves as agreeing to be wed, then it would reassure both sides.”

The concept is not a foreign one to Byakuya. The Quincy is outright stating that having a couple to present would foster hope in everyone that such peace is possible.  _ But who? _ Almost against his will, his eyes slide toward As Nodt once more, watching as the man slowly curlins the gleaming black strands of his hair around his slender fingers before releasing it. His hair is too straight to maintain even a semblance of a wave.

Yhwach turns his attention toward his men. “Are any of you willing to agree to this right now, or do you need more time to weigh your options and decide what is right for you?”

“For what it’s worth, your Majesty, I told you centuries ago I would be with you until the end of the line.” The man who speaks is handsome, dark brown skin gleaming in the torchlight, though it is impossible not to notice the gun in his hand. He came armed and prepared to protect his king, and Byakuya appreciates that. Peace or not, walking into enemy territory must have been risky. “I’m more than willing go to through with it.”

Another man, strikingly tall and broad and wearing a steel helmet, thumps his massive fist into the center of his chest. “I would be delighted to do as his Majesty needs!”

So they are loyal to their monarch. That alone is good information to have.

The mohawked man— Bazz-B, Byakuya recalls— tips his head to the side. “I don’t have any particular reason to say no, so I guess that means I’m willing to go through with it.”

The consensus seems clear; Yhwach’s Sternritter are willing and able to follow his word.

“Perhaps, then,” Yhwach says, “we can arrange something now? If Kuchiki Byakuya has any particular preferences, I can call all of my Sternritter at a moment’s notice.”

_ A moment’s notice? They must remain prepared to arrive at his side the moment they are needed. What kind of training do they go through to be so prepared? _

Byakuya can feel the eyes of his fellow captains on him and believes Renji’s must be boring into his back from the force of his gaze. “I have no particular preference. However… Perhaps it would be best to choose one of your Quincy that I have already been acquainted with. A union would allow for me to properly thank them for saving my life.”

It is also the honorable thing to do, and Byakuya knows this very well. His parents would be proud of such a choice, putting the honor of the clan and the Kuchiki name first.

Yhwach nods once. “Very well. Make the choice as you see fit. They have both consented.”

Byakuya’s gaze shifts from the Quincy king to one of his saviors. Large dark eyes as black and bottomless as the deepest wells meet his own, as if As  _ knows _ Byakuya’s attention would fall on him first. As if he is prepared for this, as if it is inevitable. His eyes are so wide and so black that they look startling in his pale face, a contrast so impossible that it seems nearly unnatural. His gaze is unsettling but Byakuya holds it just the same; this is a man who chose to save his life. He should be kinder in his thoughts.

His clan would buy this angle, choosing to marry a man because he saved Byakuya’s life. No one would argue the arrangement except for perhaps Rukia, and her concern for him cannot trump clan law. It is the proper thing to do, to show such gratitude to someone who kept him alive despite his grievous wounds so that he would have a fighting chance at survival. Yes, this is the proper choice to make even if marrying a stranger feels odd now.

Marrying Hisana spoiled him. It is time to remember what it is to be a clan leader.

“As Nodt.” The name leaves his lips with surprising ease, rolling off of his tongue; the Quincy merely blinks placidly in acknowledgement. “You saved my life. You did more than merely kill a Hollow. You specifically saved me. If I am to make a choice in taking a partner who will be my companion for the remainder of our lives, you would be a prudent choice.”

There is little warmth to the words, but Byakuya will not  _ lie _ to him. Not like that.

As runs his fingers along the edge of his mask but does not tug it away from his face, and Byakuya wonders what he must be hiding beneath it. “That choice is fine with me.”

“Announce your intentions as soon as you are able,” Yamamoto instructs, and Byakuya bows his head in agreement. “If necessary, play up the fact that your life was in mortal peril if you believe it will garner more agreement. It is important that this works for us all.”

“Of course, Soutaichou.” Byakuya turns his head toward As once more and offers his hand.

This is his life, and he recognizes this. He was born to become the head of the Kuchiki clan and he always intended to take the spot and accept the responsibilities that would rest on his shoulders with such a title. Just the same, he finds himself oddly torn as As regards his hand before stepping toward him, his movements slow but steady as if testing the waters. Byakuya knows what happiness within his marriage feels like, and knowing he is giving the option of experiencing it once more away for this… It feels almost wrong.

But it is important, and so he will do this. It will give him a lifetime to return as much of the favor as possible. He  _ has _ a lifetime because of this man, and he values that.

As has long, slender and delicate fingers with the nails painted black and seeming to glitter as he places his hand in Byakuya’s own, their palms aligned before those fingers curl around Byakuya’s wrist. For just a moment, there is a flicker of  _ something _ in his gaze before it returns to being dark and unreadable as it was a moment before. For now, Byakuya will grant him as much secrecy and privacy as he wants. They need to learn each other before he is willing to urge As to lay those emotions out where he can assist with them.

It is a process, and Byakuya himself is still very poor at this skill.

“We will make the announcement tonight at my clan’s evening meal,” he says, and As nods once. Seems to have nothing to say to this. Perhaps he is naturally quiet. “As for when you wish to tell your fellow Quincy, that is up to you. You may conduct that as you wish.”

As’s hand twitches atop his own. “There is no need. His Majesty can inform them. We are less… Aligned than your clan is, so it is not near the same scale.”

“All right.” Byakuya glances briefly at Yamamoto. “If that is all, Soutaichou, I would take my leave to prepare for this evening. It is an event that takes some preparation.”

Yamamoto nods. “Of course. Do as you need to, and thank you for your services.”

Byakuya releases As’s hand and guides him toward the hallway leading out of the room, trying to ignore the pained expression Rukia sends him as he walks past her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //cups hands around mouth// yhwach and jugram are soulmates in canon. no criticisms. any questions?
> 
> also byakuya really is That Man willing to do what it takes.


	4. Chapter 4

The Kuchiki manor is impressive in its splendor and grandeur, but As keeps his thoughts to himself that he has spent most of his long life within the walls of a palace more grandiose than this one. Silbern was his home after he accepted the Schrift bestowed to him by his Majesty, after all; the Sternritter living in close quarters with one another fuels their efforts to become a more cohesive fighting unit rather than scattered soldiers merely banding together for a singular cause. He supposes such a thought process may have been put into play by the Gotei when they chose to create their separate divisions.

Part of him should be panicking. This situation has spiralled wildly out of control, an impressive feat given his morning was spent hunting down a Hollow, killing it, and taking a dying man back to safety before he could perish once and for all. But it is natural to agree with Yhwach’s plans, and arranged marriage… No one would  _ choose _ someone like As.

He knows the image he presents to people given he has carefully crafted this image with the intention of keeping as many people as possible at arm’s length. It makes working with him perhaps more difficult than it should be, but he maintains as much privacy as he can and enforces it as strictly as possible so that there is never any doubt when people are in his presence that he would prefer them to never be close to him.

Giselle is an exception, of course, but he supposes that is a given, and he rather likes her presence all things considered. She understands better than most exactly why he keeps such strict limits around himself, and most importantly, she  _ respects _ him.

As never has to second guess what she is thinking at any given moment.

The handsome noble guiding him through the manor, offering explanation of each large and important space, keeps his face carefully blank which only makes As twitch with anxiety.  _ Am I truly meant to keep up such a charade with a man who is just as controlled as I am? _

The thought is more terrifying than it has any right to be, all things considered.

“This doorway,” Byakuya says, gesturing down the length of a short hallway just off of the main rooms, “leads to the gardens. I keep them well-tended. As my… Husband, it will be your right to them as well. They are a very soothing place to gather yourself, I find.”

The hesitation before the word  _ husband _ makes As’s gut roil unpleasantly. “I see. Noted.”

“Will you be staying here?” Byakuya stops, glancing down at him, and for once there is a semblance of emotion on his face. Curiosity, but it is a start, As supposes. “It occurs to me you may have your own home you wish to return to, and I did not stop to think about that.”

It would be foolish to return home. It would make the marriage look less than tangible, and truthfully, there is not much to go back to. “I believe staying here will look convincing.”

“Ah, that is true.” Byakuya nods once to himself and then turns, starting back through the manor, leaving As to catch up to him as he gestures toward a painting. “Now, this—”

“I’m sure the paintings are very fascinating, but I’ve no interest in them,” As says, and Byakuya merely raises an eyebrow before dropping his arm. “I would rather you show me the functional parts of the house that I will need to remember the locations of.”

He thinks he sees the corner of Byakuya’s mouth twitch. “To the point. I like that. Very well. Follow me, and I’ll show you to the kitchens. We have servants in the house who handle preparing meals, but it would be prudent to let them know if you are allergic to any foods or if there are any that you would be adverse to eating while here.”

With this in mind, the tour picks up its pace, and As finds himself introduced to each servant in turn. A part of him is impressed that Byakuya has taken the time to learn all of their names and that they seem to be on good terms with him, something As would not have expected given Byakuya’s position in Soul Society. Perhaps he attempts to be kinder to them than others, but it is still something to think on in the future.

“And this room is my personal bedroom.” Byakuya lingers in front of the double doors for a moment before pushing them open slowly, just enough for As to step through the gap between them and into the room itself, bathed in sunlight.

“Are you hiding it from your servants?” As asks, taking in the glass doors leading out onto the balcony and the golden afternoon light spilling through them.

Byakuya shakes his head, though As notes he closes the doors quickly behind him when he steps into the room. “Of course not. But I do like to keep the doors shut to maintain as much privacy as I can. This is the only space that belongs solely to me.”

“Understandable.” The space is lavish but not exactly anything more than As would have expected it to be, all things considered. A large bed against the far wall with transparent drapes tied to the heavy posts, a wardrobe and a dresser bearing a large mirror… None of it tells him any more about Kuchiki Byakuya than he already knows. “It is a nice bedroom.”

“It is your personal choice whether you would prefer a room of your own or if you would share this space with me,” Byakuya says, and As glances back at him curiously.

He sees a flicker of  _ something _ in those dove grey eyes before Byakuya averts his gaze, making it impossible for him to delve any deeper. Frustration wells up within him, but he smoothes it back down and turns his gaze toward the balcony. “What does it overlook?”

“The balcony?” Byakuya moves past him and toward the doors. “The gardens. Come.”

He throws open the doors and steps out onto the balcony, and As can pick up the scent of the flowers even before he joins Byakuya and leans against the edge to look down. The gardens are just as lush and beautiful as he imagined they would be, blooming flowers releasing their fragrant scents into the air, the petals appearing as soft as butter to the touch. There is even a koi pond that As can see clearly from this vantage point.

It truly is a beautiful sight. He can understand why this would soothe others so.

The familiar itch of eyes on the back of his neck has him turning to see Byakuya studying his face. “Can you smell the flowers with that mask on your face?”

“This?” As’s fingers move toward the black leather, tracing the edge of it where it presses into his cheekbone. The masks were made specifically to fit the shape of his face to minimize the discomfort of wearing them as often as he does. “Yes. It has ventilation.”

Byakuya studies the mask for a long moment that makes As’s skin crawl before he turns his attention back to the flowers. “That is good to know. It would be a shame if you couldn’t properly enjoy this garden. Will you wear it to dinner tonight as well?”

The question has As frowning as he looks down at the flowers, letting his weight lean into the marble of the railing. “I don’t particularly have a choice in the matter.”

“Oh.” Byakuya seems taken aback by this, his gaze darting back to As for a moment before drifting away once more. “I won’t prod. It isn’t my place to ask such questions.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if you asked. This is mine and mine alone to deal with.” And the one person who  _ does _ know has been sworn to secrecy, and it isn’t like Giselle would tell anyone else in the first place. What would she have to gain from such a thing?

To his surprise, Byakuya merely nods. “That is fine. I presume this means you won’t be able to eat in front of my family, so I’ll make the announcement and excuse the two of us from the dinner proper. I can use the excuse that you’re tired and need to rest. Do you, ah, perhaps have a mask that is a little lighter on the wear than this one?”

“A few,” As admits. After all, he tends to sleep in them. “Intending to pass me off as ill?”

“Do you have a problem with that if it keeps certain overly curious relatives of mine from attempting to weasel their way into your private business?” Byakuya asks.

As considers, fingers tracing the edge of his mask for a moment before he turns his head down and away. “I suppose it will have to be fine. I have no intention of walking around without one on. I have a few I sleep in. I can wear them around your home.”

Byakuya makes a small noise in the back of his throat, but it seems to be one of content so As does not press the matter. He has no desire to start an argument between the two of them  _ before _ the marriage is final. “That should work. No one in the Seireitei besides perhaps a few people would ever ask, and you can always tell them to leave you alone.”

“I have no problem with doing so.” As gives the flowers one last look before sighing and turning to press his back against the railing. “Why did you agree to do this?”

For a moment, he thinks the noble shinigami will not answer him, studying his profile as he waits. He has an interesting face, arrogant features and grey eyes that seem to lean colder than they do warm. “Because it will protect the Seireitei, and nothing could ever be as important to me as that. Are you going to ask me why I chose you next?”

“That was the next question,” As admits. “It seems like a knee-jerk decision on your part.”

“Well, you had my back in battle. That alone is enough to warrant serious consideration, especially given you understand  _ why _ we’re going through with this,” Byakuya says.

As raises an eyebrow at him. “I was asked to do so, I would hope you recall?”

“And you could have said no. Or you could have let me die. The wound was severe enough that no one would have looked down upon you for not knowing how to stop the bleeding.” Byakuya levels him with a sharp gaze that cuts deeper than As wants to admit right now, but he does not let his gaze waver. Not right now during this conversation. “You are the only Quincy that I know, and you saved my life. The rest I will learn as I go.”

“How confident you sound in such an estimation.” As turns his gaze away. He doesn’t want to consider why Byakuya would have come to any of those decisions.

He has no desire to argue that there is  _ nothing _ more to learn. He has no intention of his would-be husband having to understand him as a person to make this work.

“Now then.” Byakuya pushes himself away from the railing. “Would you like a tour of the other empty bedrooms in this manor? I always keep the second largest room available with the thought in mind that I might very well be getting married in the future.”

_ Arranged marriages must be common enough for nobles then if he already planned for it. _ “It would not look well if we could not even share sleeping accommodations, I would think.”

“I would agree. However.” Byakuya pauses, resting a hand on the edge of the doorway. “Your comfort is my top priority while you are staying here, so the choice will be yours.”

As wonders if his Majesty chose this captain to be his entrance into Soul Society because he knows the man is honorable, something he would likely have valued if he knew it about him. “It is merely sharing a bed. I do not see how that could become complicated.”

“Very well.” Byakuya looks back at him, and As raises his chin in question.

He expects the shinigami to speak, but those eyes meet his and a silence falls between the two of them that feels heavier than it has any right to. Again, it makes As itch. Byakuya is intelligent, or at least he speaks in the manner of someone whose education was carefully attended to. If there is anyone in Soul Society who will be able to see through the veil he has wrapped tight around himself, it is going to be Kuchiki Byakuya.

Byakuya breaks their staring match, turning his attention back to his bedroom. “Well, you can bring your belongings to the house. I will make as much space as is necessary.”

As cocks his head. “Do you stay here every night? I know you have division barracks.”

“I try to return here as often as I can because  _ someone _ has a habit of stealing the koi from my pond if I turn my back for too long.” Byakuya shakes his head and As frowns; people steal  _ fish _ in the Seireitei? “It is important to always reaffirm my position as head of this clan. And going forward into this marriage, that will be more important.”

“I take it noble families must have be very important here,” As murmurs.

Byakuya nods once, a quick and sharp gesture that looks almost painful. “They are. The image is important. And so I will do what it takes to maintain it.”

“I suppose that means it will be up to me to do my best to add to that.” As thinks it could be far worse. This is something he can potentially work with. “I will do my best as your husband in that regard, though I doubt it would be as fruitful as a marriage to a noble.”

To his surprise, the corner of Byakuya’s mouth twitches. “Well, there are no nobles in the Seireitei that I would want to be married to, so this works well for the two of us.”

_ Does it? _ As smiles thinly. “Well, then. Is there anything else you wanted to show me?”

“I’ll show you to the Sixth division so you can acquaint yourself with them. Should you ever need me when I am working, you will find me there.” Byakuya looks to him, and As can see a flicker of an internal struggle before Byakuya offers his hand once more.

When he did this in the captains’ meeting room, it felt natural to simply accept the gesture. Perhaps As is tired of the cold of Silbern and the shadows given that his body does not fare well in such conditions, and Soul Society seems lovely during the spring. Or perhaps he simply wants something of a change of pace and a challenge. There are only so many sparring sessions he can accept against his fellow Sternritter before he bores easily and tires of the lack of effort he needs to put into each battle to win.

Now, he sets his hand in Byakuya’s, admiring the strong yet slender fingers, skin that only looks smooth and soft to the touch but is callused from where he must grip his sword tight in battle. Just the same, his hand is warm, and As’s hands are always cold. He appreciates the difference between them as far as this goes and can make use of it.

Byakuya tangles their fingers together gently. “Your nails are an interesting color.”   


“A friend paints them for me when she grows bored of the last color she chose.” But this paint is fresh; Giselle insisted on them last night.  _ You’ll need to look your best if you’re going to make a good impression! _ “Beware meeting her. She would do yours, too.”

“I see.” For the first time, Byakuya smiles properly, though it is there for only a moment before he smoothes his expression into something more… Professional.

If he intends to be as much of a puzzle as As lives his life, perhaps the two of them are going to get along just fine. It would be nice to have a little peace and quiet.

Byakuya remains holding his hand as they make their way through the manor once more, Byakuya taking his time to point out another few key details, though As’s attention is diverted more toward the servants than anything else. A few of them are clearly whispering to one another just out of Byakuya’s line of sight, taking his momentary distraction to do so. One particular woman has a wide smile spread across her face. Maybe she wanted the young noble of the house to settle down.

As pauses at the sight of a shrine in the house, and Byakuya slows to a stop next to him. “Who is this young woman? I don’t believe you’ve mentioned anything about her.”

“My wife.” Byakuya’s voice is carefully blank, but As can hear the weight behind those words just the same and closes his eyes.  _ Ah, so you have been married prior to now. That makes sense. _ “Kuchiki Hisana. She passed away many years ago from illness.”

“I apologize for your loss. Death is a terrible thing.”  _ Illness. _ It makes As’s gut drop, reminds him of beeping machines and the weight of the oxygen mask and the certainty that death would only bring more suffering and no peace.

Byakuya tugs his hand gently, leading him toward the door. “It is. But it is a natural part of life, and I regret none of the time I spent with her. Now, let me show you my division.”

As glances back at the photo just once and wonders what  _ she _ would think of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jazz hands
> 
> hey i really love writing about them... my Boys...
> 
> please pray for me. bleach brave souls is going to drop a parasol aizen and if ya boi doesn't get his favorite character he's going to cry.
> 
> also i'm about halfway through the next chapter for shinji/aizen. it's porn so it's taking longer to write than it should.


	5. Chapter 5

Byakuya remembers walking a similar path with Hisana when he first brought her to the barracks to show her around, intent on sharing every part of his life with her. That day, the sun was high in the sky, puffy white clouds adorned the bright spring blue, and the golden sunlight streaming down on their shoulders was warm and pleasant coupled with the cool breeze. Hisana was not yet sick, and every time her gentle eyes met his own, Byakuya swore he would never be as happy as he was when she was next to him.

_ It is one aspect of time that has not changed, _ he thinks, eyes surveying the barracks as they step into the entryway to the grounds.  _ I have not been as happy as I was with her. _

The Quincy at his side has been quiet ever since they left the house, dark eyes flitting back and forth from one aspect of their surroundings to another as if taking stock of everything. Distantly, Byakuya wonders if any of them have been inside of the Seireitei without a shinigami noticing their presence. He thinks that As would not have been able to pull off such a thing, too conspicuous with his mask and his large black eyes.

He barely takes another step when a familiar shock of crimson hair catches his attention, Renji swinging open the door with a guarded expression on his face. “Taichou,” he says, and though his voice is measured and pleasant enough, he looks uncertain.

“Renji, are you sure you should be up and about?” He does not know the extent of the injuries Renji suffered in battle, but he knows they must have been severe.

That question earns him a frown. “You were far worse off than I was. I’m good, Unohana-taichou fixed me right up. You showing, uh… Him around?”

Byakuya wonders if Renji has forgotten As’s name so quickly or if he merely does not know how else to address him. “I am. We have already toured the grounds of the Kuchiki Clan. I want him to be intimate with the way of our world so that he feels settled within it.”

“It is interesting,” As says, though his voice remains placid enough to make Byakuya wonder if he is being honest. “It is good, as well, that the two of you survived.”

Renji nods. “Yeah, uh. Thanks, really, for that. So, like, can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t see why not.” As’s hand twitches in Byakuya’s own, but his voice is calm.

“What’s, like, your  _ king’s _ plan, I guess?” Renji leans his shoulder against the doorway, and he looks tired, Byakuya thinks. There are darkish circles under his eyes. Perhaps the battle took more out of him than it did Byakuya himself. “Like, I don’t understand any of this. I get the whole living in the shadows thing after the war, but why expose yourselves now? It’s not like we had any idea that you were all hiding out here.”

That is true, and troubling. Though Byakuya has lived in the Seireitei all of his life and knows each part of Soul Society well, he has never noticed anything stirring in the shadows nor felt the keen reiatsu of a Quincy until he met Ishida Uryu. He would have noticed, too, because they feel different than shinigami do.

As tilts his head just slightly; the sunlight plays off of his long black hair, showing up deep violet highlights. It is somewhat mesmerizing. “His Majesty? I have no idea why he chose now to make this choice. He merely asked me to step in and save you, and so I did that.”

“Loyal, I guess.” Renji shrugs a shoulder, and Byakuya lifts an eyebrow at him.  _ What is that supposed to mean? _ “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want to die. I just don’t get it.”

“We are, unfortunately, unaware of his plans as well.” As tucks a long strand of hair back behind his ear, and Byakuya notices again how slender his fingers are, how thin and pale and fragile. He looks like a stiff breeze might blow him askance.  _ Does he ever eat, or is he merely naturally this thin? _ “Jugram Haschwalth is the only one privy to the private thoughts of our King. We merely follow his commands and do not question him.”

Renji drags his teeth across his lower lip. “That’s pretty intense, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps. His Majesty saved each of us, though, so we trust him. At least, I know I can say that firmly.” As’s eyes crinkle just slightly at the corners. Is he smiling?

“Was your life once in harm’s way?” Byakuya asks, unable to deny his own curiosity.

“It was,” As confirms, and Byakuya feels an unhappy expression tug at the corners of his mouth as he considers what this might mean. “But no longer, and that was so long ago that it does not have any bearing now. Would you like to show me around your barracks?”

Byakuya can recognize a rapid change of subject and decides not to pursue this line of conversation. If As wants him to know any fragment of his past, then he will share it in his own time. “Yes, of course. Renji, would you like to accompany us, or do you want to rest?”

“I’m fine. We’ve got work to do, after all. Uh, I was… Actually gonna work on some paperwork I let fall back.” Renji clears his throat, rubs a hand up and down the back of his neck. His eyes avert contact immediately; Byakuya feels a ghost of a smile touch his lips.

“Well, I suppose that paperwork is not  _ too _ strenuous despite your continued desire not to pursue completing it in a timely manner.” Byakuya keeps his tone light so that Renji realizes he is merely teasing him. “Do as you please. Do not push yourself too hard today, though. Your reiatsu is just as depleted as mine, and your energy will drain quickly.”

Renji’s answering smile is kind. “I’ll keep that in mind, Taichou. Well, uh, have fun?”

“Of course.” Byakuya turns his attention back to his… His  _ fiance, _ he supposes, and finds that As has turned his head to survey the landscape once more. “Let me show you around.”

As blinks up at him. “Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment.”

“This is an interesting situation for everyone involved. I won’t begrudge you needing to think through things.” And with that, Byakuya gives his hand a gentle tug and leads him inside of the barracks that house the Sixth Division, his true pride.

The barracks are kept in pristine condition because Byakuya expects nothing less from his men, and each of them greets him even if there is apparent confusion in their gazes at his choice of companion. Though Byakuya is sure word must already be spreading throughout the Seireitei, most of them likely will not have believed gossip over seeing the truth for themselves. After all, Byakuya is not one to be involved in any scandal.

It is much simpler to show As around the barracks as they are much simpler than a noble’s home, and by the time the two of them enter his office, he is tired. Unohana healed him perfectly, but his body is exhausted from being put through such effort after having so much energy drained in an effort just to survive.

“This is my office,” he says, closing the door behind them for a measure of privacy. “I have private meetings with my subordinates in here, and I typically try to finish my paperwork here before I go home for the evening. On occasion, I entertain other captains as well.”

As lets go of his hand and walks over toward the window, leaning close to the glass. “It is very orderly here. You must run a very tight ship, Kuchiki-san.”

The honorific is jarring in more ways than one; Byakuya finds himself blinking a handful of times before he clears his throat and walks to the window, opening it to let in the fresh air. “Byakuya. There is no need to be formal, and it may seem… Unnatural, to some.”

“Hmm. That’s true. Byakuya, then.” There is a curious accent on the way As speaks Byakuya’s name, but it is… Surprisingly pleasant to listen to, his voice.

“I try to keep my division where it should be. As members of the Gotei Thirteen, we have a set standard we are to reach, and then there is the standard of being a division beneath a noble.” Byakuya walks over to his desk and sits down, glad for the moment to rest. As remains at the window; perhaps he, too, is tired. “Would you like some tea?”

As’s head turns quickly in his direction, and Byakuya is slightly startled at the intensity that is there in those eyes for only a moment before it fades. “I would not be able to drink it without removing my mask, and that will not be something that occurs.”

_ Ah, of course. The mask.  _ “You can turn away from me while you drink. I will not push you to reveal anything to me that you are not currently prepared to do.”

“I see. Tea would be lovely, then.” As’s shoulders loosen and Byakuya assumes there must be some sort of disfigurement beneath the leather, something that As does not feel safe with anyone else seeing. Not that Byakuya would ever hold it against him, but some would, and he knows that As has a right to be cautious if this is true.

He sets tea to brew and studies the few reports he needs to read through and sign before settling one of them in front of him. “How did you become a member of the Sternritter?”

“I was chosen.” As picks up one of the chairs on the other side of Byakuya’s desk and sets it by the window before he takes a seat, folding one leg neatly over the other. Does he like the fresh air? Perhaps so.  _ Maybe he will spend most of his time in the gardens. _ “His Majesty chooses us based on our abilities and our power. Those of us who are special are chosen and gifted with a Schift, which enables us to more greatly harness our abilities.”

Byakuya nods slowly, drinking this in. “What does that word mean? I don’t know it.”

“It’s a German word. The Sternritter are designated by their letter.” As turns his eyes outside once more, and Byakuya studies his profile. “I am Sternritter F. The Fear.”

“The Fear.” Byakuya blinks down at his report before looking up once more. “What?”

As’s eyes crinkle at the corners once more again. Does this amuse him? “The Fear. You witnessed my power in its purest form. When my reishi thorns so much as break the skin, it is too late to escape. You are consumed by terror from the inside of your mind.”

“That is… An interesting power.” And terrifying. Byakuya fully believes in mind over matter, but in the heat of battle, such a handicap could make or break a fight.

“It is my burden to carry on my shoulders,” As says, and Byakuya blinks at him.  _ A burden? _ “It is easier to bear than most, so I am thankful for it. It also allows me to better protect myself from harm, which is my utmost concern. I’m not much of a melee combat fighter. Such a style is preferred by men like Bazz, but not particularly by me.”

_ Ranged fighting, then? _ “You fight as you need to. For what it is worth, I can see an inherent value in such a power. It disabled the Adjuchas very well.”

“Thank you.” As tips his head, resting it against the frame of the window. “Your zanpakuto was very beautiful in combat. I would much rather have such a lovely ability.”

At Byakuya’s hip, Senbonzakura chimes softly as if in gratitude. Byakuya rests a hand on his hilt, reassuring him that he heard. “Well, my zanpakuto thanks you for your kind words. Perhaps we can give you a proper demonstration in a less dramatic circumstance.”

“What fun is it unless we’re all on the verge of death?” As laughs, but there is pain in that sound, and Byakuya frowns at the sound of it. “I believe the tea is ready.”

It is. Byakuya pours them each a cup of tea and brings As his own, watching as he pointedly turns so that his slender back is to Byakuya. As he promised, Byakuya does not pry. He returns to his desk with his own cup of tea and listens to the sounds of buckles being quietly undone; it must buckle in the back, then. He can see the black of the mask as As rests it on his lap and wonders at the comfort of such a device. Surely it hurts?

The few reports he has go by more quickly than he expects, and Byakuya pours himself a second cup of tea and sips it quietly, ruminating in the silence between the two of them. There is nothing uncomfortable about it, and As seems… Calm and peaceful here, which is a relief given how much time Byakuya needs to spend at the barracks each day.

“What will you do when I’m working?” he asks. If As remains in the Seireitei constantly, he may need something to do to occupy his time. Byakuya might be able to assist with that.

“I suppose just getting used to the place. For the most part, I remained inside of the palace when I was home. It is cold, there, and I do not handle the cold easily.” As makes a small noise that sounds almost like a laugh, and Byakuya frowns. He will have to ensure that the manor does not become too cold during the winter, then. And, perhaps, invest in heavier comforters for the bed. “It is so warm here, though. It’s quite pleasant.”

Byakuya finishes his second cup of tea and sets it down carefully on the saucer. “It can get quite cold in the winter, but we’ll make sure that you don’t end up getting sick as a result.”

“Easier said than done, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy the challenge.” As picks the mask up once more and then delivers his cup to the desk. The lower half of his face is hidden once again.

He remembers Hisana’s condition in her final days, how thin and frail she was. How it was hard for her to keep anything down. How every sentence was broken up by coughing fits. “I reassure you that I am not interested in losing another spouse to illness.”

“Ah, that’s right.” As resumes sitting by the window, and Byakuya busies himself with finding something to do to take his mind off of Hisana and the past, and the coming future.

He should send out a message to his family before this evening comes so that all of them can gather together. The announcement will be simple and straightforward, and he will excuse the two of them from dinner to let his family do as they please; he has the excuse of having nearly died and needing rest, and he can indeed pass As off as being ill. Lying to his family is not particularly something he wants to indulge in, but ensuring that his future husband feels comfortable and that there is no chatter behind his back is important.

Byakuya will simply have to work on the balance each day until he is satisfied.

When there is nothing left for him to do, he pushes himself to his feet. “We should go back to the manor and prepare for this evening. Even for a brief appearance, the two of us will have to be impeccably dressed— Do you have something nice to wear?”

“Not particularly. I’ve no need for formal wear in Silbern.” As stands slowly, carefully placing the chair back in its place. He looks tired, now. Worn out by the day.

“I’ll arrange for something to be brought to you, then. You’ll only have to wear it for a few moments, and then we will be free.” And there is no such thing as  _ too soon. _ Byakuya is aware of what his duties are, but that does not make him want to fulfill  _ all _ of them. “Would you prefer to eat in private, then? Away from where I can see you?”

The question hangs in the air between them before As clears his throat and nods. “Yes, I would prefer that. It is not meant to be any offense toward you, of course.”

“None taken. I’ll make sure to accommodate your request. Perhaps we can dine in the same room with a screen between us.” Byakuya can arrange that. He can pass it off as a changing screen, perhaps, and nothing more. No one needs the finer details. “If it is all the same to you, I would like to get to know you better. Dinner seems like an opportune time.”

As hums softly. “That’s fine with me. If we’re going to present a picture to your Soul Society, it would be better if we knew one another well. And it would make our working relationship much easier on the two of us if we built up a rapport.”

_ So he understands exactly what is at stake. _ “I’m glad we understand each other. We can retire to my home while I plan out tonight. If you want, you can rest. You earned it.”

“I probably will take a short nap. It’s been a long day for me, and I used quite a lot of power to make sure you made it back in one piece.” As takes a step toward the door, glancing over his shoulder as he goes. “Let me know when I can be of assistance.”

Byakuya takes a quicker step forward, catching As’s hand in his own; the Quincy looks startled for only a moment before he grips back, fingers slipping between Byakuya’s own. Their palms fit together very well, Byakuya notes. “I’ll do just that. Let’s be on our way.”


	6. Chapter 6

The bed is far too comfortable, more so than it has any right to be, and As finds it difficult to tear himself away from the mattress until the sun has begun its slow descent beneath the horizon, hovering just over the line of it. As such, the preparations for the Clan dinner this evening have begun. He can hear movement all over the manor, the servants no doubt finishing their tasks so they can ensure everything is perfect. It reminds him distinctly of Silbern just before his Majesty draws them together to speak.

He would have liked to go home to speak to Giselle about this given she was not in attendance with the rest of the Schutzstaffel. By now, Nianzol will have slunk from his place in his Majesty’s shadow to tell her why As did not return home, and she likely will have hundreds of questions for him when he is able to speak to her again. Though he is not sure when the trip will be made. He will have to gather his things to bring them here.

The moment he sits up, there is a distinct knock at the door. Panic flares through him for just a moment as his hand darts up to his face, ensuring the thick piece of silk is still secure to his jaw before he releases a breath. He has masks to sleep in and keeps one on his person at all times in case his leather one is damaged, but occasionally it moves in sleep.

“Come on,” he calls out, gathering his hair back with his hands, pushing it behind his shoulders. He will need to brush it. Even a short nap is enough to tangle the ends.

Slowly, a young man opens the door, his face pinched and nervous as he peers in. “I haven’t disturbed you, have I?” he asks, his voice uneven with anxiety. The sound of it softens As with sympathy. “Kuchiki-sama said not to disturb you if it could be avoided.”

_ Did he now? _ “No, I was already awake. Please, come in.”

He assumes the young man must be a servant considering how he bows his head before stepping into the room, a bundle tucked securely under one arm. “I was sent to bring you something to wear for the evening. Kuchiki-sama said that in all of the excitement of this announcement, you hadn’t had time to return home, so he sent me to bring you this.”

“We discussed this. Thank you.” As eyes the black fabric curiously, head cocked to the side. “A yukata? I don’t think I’ve seen one in black before now.”

The servant blinks a handful of times before unfolding the piece of clothing carefully, stretching it along the width of the bottom of the bed. The black fabric gives way to delicate sprays of white flowers, graceful petals that look almost to be in motion. As makes a small, curious noise in the back of his throat at the sight of it and wonders what led Byakuya to make this choice for him. Perhaps it was a random one.

“He said the color would, ah, suit you.” The servant bows his head again before backing away toward the door, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. “Call for one of us if you need anything. I’m sorry to rush away so quickly, but we still have some orders to fulfill before the rest of the Kuchiki Clan arrives.”

“Of course.” As waves him away, slipping out from under the comforter to inspect the yukata. “Do as you need to do. I can dress myself without assistance.”

As soon as the door closes, As holds the yukata up to the weak evening light still spilling through the glass doors of the balcony. The flowers are beautifully depicted; he can nearly smell their sweet scent rolling off of the fabric. Though he should have expected expert craftsmanship from something owned by a noble, the sight of it still leaves him awed. The fabric is unbearably soft and smooth beneath his fingers. He owns nothing as nice as this.

Well, at least Byakuya had come up with a working story. As is not sure he would have been able to properly explain to anyone why he owns nearly nothing considered  _ nice _ .

When the room becomes too dark for him to properly see, he resorts to using the artificial lighting in the room and sets about preparing himself for dinner. He need only be there for a brief moment, he knows, but he needs to ensure there is nothing inherently  _ wrong _ with him that the Kuchiki Clan will be able to pick up. He needs to present a good front as Byakuya’s fiance and perhaps give them something to believe that there  _ may _ be a connection between the two of them. Not that he thinks they would care otherwise.

There is a hairbrush that looks untouched on the dresser and he yanks the knots out of his hair with efficiency, having become accustomed to it over the years. He steps into the bathroom to wash his face, carefully removing the mask so as not to dampen it. The sight of his own mouth has become normal to him, less horrifying than it was the first time.

Carefully, he examines the reddened flesh and touches it carefully. Nothing aches at the moment, but the issue with the leather is that it rubs the flesh raw some days.

“It won’t be so bad living here if it means I’m not wearing the mask anymore,” As murmurs to himself, careful as he secures his mask back in place. The softer ones never make his mouth hurt, but they run the risk of being destroyed in battle.

He takes time securing the yukata in place, ensuring that his chest looks just as flat as always without the several layers of clothing he is used to keeping secured. For the most part, a layer or two is enough to really distract the eye. In that instance, he is lucky. The thought of going beneath the knife for any procedure at this point makes him physically ill. He can make do for the moment and avoid hospitals at all costs.

Distinctly, he wonders what Byakuya’s reaction will be when he inevitably has to tell him.

The sound of a knock at the door has him lifting his head. “Yes, come in.”

Byakuya steps inside this time, and he looks different out of uniform. Thinner but no less strong and capable, his hair brushed neatly and gleaming beneath the light. “I wanted to ensure you found the yukata to your liking. And I hope you slept well.”

“You have a nice bed. It was a pleasant rest.” As smiles behind the mask and hopes the sentiment is reflected in his eyes as he turns to survey the room. “It’s very nice here. And the yukata is lovely. You didn’t have to choose something so expensive.”

“I did. My family will expect as much.” Byakuya rakes a hand through his hair before smoothing the strands back into place. He looks  _ exhausted, _ his eyes tired, and As thinks that he has not had a moment to stop and rest since nearly dying this morning.

Has it been only the one day? The thought is astounding though As knows it to be true.

He hazards resting a hand on Byakuya’s shoulder, feeling the muscle there tensed. “I don’t think I’m the only one that needs to get out of this dinner as quickly as possible.”

“You have no idea how right you are. I have no desire to deal with my family and certainly not after the day we’ve had. However, it must be done.” Byakuya takes a slow, deep breath and releases it carefully before a faint smile touches his lips. “Your king has returned to his home for the time being, but some of your fellow Quincy are out and about currently.”

As spares a glance toward the horizon once more. “His Majesty has to return home to rest each night, it’s very important for his health. He spent much of his childhood very ill.”

The lie will suffice for now. Until his Majesty is prepared to divulge the power of the Almighty and its various capabilities, As knows what lie to singsong to anyone who asks why his sleeping schedule is kept so tightly. After all, it is only partially a lie. Yhwach did spend most of his childhood in a state that most would consider a serious illness, and it was only when he was a teenager that he was able to move about under his own power with all of his various senses restored. As… Can definitely imagine living in a body that feels like a prison.

His Majesty is still the strongest man As has ever met in his life, especially in spirit.

Byakuya’s eyes soften. “I see. Illness seems to touch the lives of so many.”

“Unfortunately, yes.” As remembers the off-hand joke he made back in Byakuya’s office and feels that pang of regret once more. The insensitivity was never meant; he is so used to winter colds and the flu that it just rolled off of his tongue. “But everyone is fine right now. Shall we go, then? I’m sure you have no desire to keep your family waiting.”

Those dove grey eyes meet his own with what appears to be relief. “You are correct, As.”

He expects Byakuya to offer his hand once more but he does not, merely opening the door and ushering him into the hallway. Even from the distance, As can hear the distant sound of chatter and wrinkles his nose; people have never been his forte. He lives his life in solitude as much as he can except for the rare few who slip past his defenses.

The reason Byakuya does not offer his hand becomes quickly apparent; it comes to rest in the small of As’s back again, and he finds himself surprisingly fine with it for the time being. Byakuya has been kind, and they have a front to carry through together.

He can put up with something so inoffensive to ensure the two of them will have peace.

The Kuchiki manor is just as grand during the night as it is during the day, and the dining hall they only briefly stopped in this afternoon is now filled with people. Many of them resemble Byakuya in one way or another and others not at all; As assumes it must be the difference of those who are genetically family and those who married in. All of them are well-dressed, and all of them look toward the entranceway when they step in.

“My apologies for keeping all of you waiting,” Byakuya calls out, and the chatter stops as everyone turns to face him. It is unnerving, being stared at like this. “As I said, I had to fetch a very important guest this evening to introduce to all of you.”

The soft murmurs at the table are impossible to annoy but As keeps his chin raised high as he walks into the room, unwilling to let it get to him.  _ This is no different than meetings with the Soldat. They stare, too, and they are just as unimportant in the grand scheme of things as these people are. All that matters is looking perfect for a few minutes. _

Simple enough. He performs such an act at least once a week for his Majesty.

There are two chairs at the head of the long table and they each take one of them. Immediately, Byakuya takes As’s hand in his own, holding it on top of the table. The message is clear; the closest relatives next to them blink in wide-eyed shock.

“This morning, I was dispatched at the heed of Soutaichou Yamamoto to the Rukongai to deal with a group of Adjuchas-level Hollows.” Byakuya speaks simply and clearly, and his voice does not so much as quiver as he addresses them. “I was gravely injured and nearly died when this man saved my life. His name is As Nodt, and he is a member of the Sternritter, an elite Quincy soldier beneath the king Yhwach.”

His Majesty’s name rolls off of Byakuya’s tongue well, As notes. Few of the Quincy ever speak it. There is no punishment if they do, but most of them have never dared. He commands too much power to not be given the utmost respect they can manage.

Except in the case of Bazz, but he needs to learn how to let go of Haschwalth first.

One of the men at the table clears his throat. “We’ve heard rumors about the Quincy. Why are we not fighting them? The Gotei Thirteen believed in their extermination.”

As smoothly ignores the urge to wince at the words and merely turns to Byakuya to see how he handles the question, teeth pressed into a grim line behind his mask.

To his surprise, Byakuya’s eyes darken. His gaze is akin to a stormy sky. “We have all spoken together and come to an agreement. There will be no fighting. The Quincy will do their best to keep the Hollows at bay until we can come dispatch of them, and they will not use any techniques that will destroy the living soul still trapped within. Is that clear?”

His voice leaves no room for argument, but a woman further down the table still dares. “Why is one of them currently here? It’s one thing to work with Quincy, but entertaining them in our home seems… You wouldn’t want to invite danger into our midst.”

“As Nodt is not a dangerous man. He saved my life, something all of you should thank him for.” Byakuya’s hand spasms on top of his, and As frowns. His relationship with his family must be much more tense than it seemed. “And he will be remaining in my house. I’m going to take him as my husband. I am tired of being alone in this empty manor.”

The silence at the table is so tense it feels like it may burst at any moment, and As’s skin itches with the sensation of it. Perhaps his family will not  _ quite _ fall for this facade—

“Byakuya?” He keeps his voice low and soft, though loud enough for the others to hear just the same. No need to whisper and inflame their concern and curiosity more than he already has. “Calm down,  _ anata. _ There is no reason to get worked up about such questions.”

The word slips from his lips easily enough. He knows plenty of aspects of the Japanese language. You learn one way or another living so closely with shinigami that they are only a breath away, and As… Had nothing better to do than learn. So why not?

The fingers atop his still, then curl with his own. “My apologies for my tone,  _ meine Liebe. _ ”

_ When did you pick up such a phrase to wield with so little warning? _ It takes As’s breath away for just a moment before he gives himself a small shake to come back to the moment. This is a  _ game, _ after all. Not reality. “You’re very tired. You nearly died this morning. May I address your family, or would such a thing be inappropriate?”

“Go ahead,” Byakuya says, his eyes glittering as if he  _ knows _ what endearment he has used.

The thought makes As smile behind the mask. It appears they can both play this game well.

Slowly, he stands and folds his hands in front of himself, addressing the people staring at him directly. He keeps his voice as calm and polite as possible, and affects as much warmth into his words as he can. “I know this is sudden and unexpected for all of you, and I understand why. Your clan head has been living alone for so long and it must be jarring to have such an announcement thrust upon you. You have to forgive him. I was the one who found him, and having seen the state he nearly died in, I can understand his fatigue.”

He is a talented actor. He has to be. Such meetings with the Soldat end sooner as long as he keeps his calm, and now is no different. He can do this with ease.

“Byakuya-sama strikes me as a very intelligent man and an excellent captain of the Gotei Thirteen.” As adds the honorific on at the last moment. Best to be polite in front of company, after all. “He would not make a choice so lightly and without much thought. It is true that shinigami and Quincy have had negative relations in the past, but we want to form a working bond that benefits all of us and most importantly, living people.”

Gently, he slips his hand around the back of Byakuya’s neck under the heavy weight of his dark hair. The skin there is soft; Byakuya looks up at him, his gaze searching, but As speaks to his family even as he meets Byakuya’s eyes. “And I would want nothing so severe to happen to Byakuya-sama again. I would rather risk my own life than allow such harm to come to him. It may be illogical, perhaps, but it is how I feel.”

_ Let them think I’m consumed by love at first sight. It will be far easier for all of us. _

An elderly woman speaks up then, her hands folded in front of her mouth. “My, my, and here I thought our Byakuya would be alone for the rest of his life after Hisana’s passing. I haven’t seen him look at anyone like that in quite some time.”

Byakuya gives his head a small shake before meeting the woman’s gaze. “Of course not, oba-san. But… It is different this time. It is something I cannot explain in words.”

“Indeed.” As dares to take a step forward, his other arm slipping around Byakuya’s shoulders. “I find I cannot quite stomach the idea of leaving Byakuya-sama’s side, and perhaps everyone in the Seireitei and my own people would understand there is no need for battle or bloodshed. Surely all of us have known battle long enough.”

The murmuring at the table seems… Genuinely more positive than it was a moment before, so As takes it upon himself to feign dizziness and fatigue, leaning heavily against Byakuya.

“We, unfortunately, cannot join you for dinner this evening. As is quite unwell after all of the stress of this day.” Byakuya stands, his arms gentle as he straightens As and keeps him near. “Now, if all of you will excuse me, I am going to take my fiance to bed.”


	7. Chapter 7

The screen is just transparent enough for Byakuya to make out As’s outline from behind it, but it keeps him from seeing whatever is behind the mask when As removes it from his face. When they return to his private quarters, his servants have already brought in a small table with a screen set up across the center of it to afford As the privacy he desires, setting him with his back to the balcony so no one can slip inside and accidentally see what he is trying so hard to hide from everyone.

“That was very well thought out on your part,” he says, taking a sip of wine. The red is much too rich but it was on-hand for his family and he never thought to ask for something else. “You played your role perfectly well. I was a bit stunned to silence myself.”

“I know how to play my role. I could tell your family was upsetting you.” As’s voice without the mask is… Softer and lighter, somehow. It’s so delicate and makes Byakuya remember the slender fingers wound with his own, small and fragile.

His chest gives an unfamiliar lurch and he gives himself a shake. What is  _ wrong _ with him? “Nevertheless, I owe you a debt of gratitude. You made it very easy on me.”

“You’ve been accommodating, Byakuya. It was no concern.” As does make strange noises as he eats, but Byakuya pays them no mind. They are none of his business, after all. “The struggle of having a family that often distresses you is one I understand fairly well, so I can see how you struggle with them. I was happy to cut the suffering short.”

“You’re going to make a wonderful husband, then.” And it would do his family some good to be properly put in their places more often. “How is the food? Is it to your liking?”

He can see the silhouette of As’s hands as he lifts his napkin to his mouth to blot it, and it is… Odd, to watch him like this. Byakuya feels like a voyeur— And like he wants to see more all at once, which is uncomfortable. “It’s delicious. Thank you for the meal.”

“It’s your home now. I want you to be able to enjoy all aspects of it,” Byakuya says.

“So far, I am enjoying my time here. It’s nice to have a change of pace.” As looks toward him, and Byakuya can  _ almost _ see his eyes through the screen. Not quite, though. Perhaps one day they will be able to eat together without the barrier between them. “What duties will I be expected to perform as your husband? Is there anything I need to know?”

Byakuya shakes his head. “No. As head of the clan, I’ll handle anything important. Unless I fall ill, in which case… It would fall to you. I would hope such a thing won’t happen, though. Nobles have private healers alongside Unohana-taichou, though, so I should be fine.”

As nods, and Byakuya can hear the faint sound of a hum. “That’s good to be aware of. I would hope nothing bad happens to you. I did say I would try to protect you.”

He did say that. Byakuya remembers those specific words, the soft lilt of As’s voice, the soft pressure of his fingers on the back of his neck. Even now, the memory of it is enough to jar him. He knows that one can starve for affection, can become so addled by any form of touch after going without it for so long that it can affect one in a profound way. Still, he never thought he would reach that point in his lifetime. Has he kept everyone away so much that his brain and body have been permanently damaged by it?

It’s disconcerting to say the least. He will have to work on that.

“I’ll do my best to protect you as well,” he says, and Senbonzakura’s reiatsu perks up from his side of the room where he rests on the bed of soft pink silk Byakuya has arranged for him. “You’re my husband. It’s only proper that I return the favor of protection.”

In the back of his mind, he knows this is not entirely the truth. He  _ wants _ to keep As safe.

As chuckles softly, and the sound is… Profoundly sad. “There is no need for such strain on yourself, Byakuya. The Sternritter are well-practiced in self-defense so I can take care of myself just fine. You have a clan and a division to put before me.”

“No one else in my life will come before you once the two of us are married. And I will not put duty before you, either.” It would look bad to everyone who knows of the marriage, after all, should Byakuya run off to Karakura Town when As needs him. He would look like a monster and rightfully so. “You’ll be my first priority. I already choose to remain here in the house as the head of my clan but I would do that regardless so you are not alone.”

“I see. I suppose I never thought of it quite like that,” As murmurs.

Byakuya stares down at his food before urging himself to take a bite. These matters are so delicate, and he knows this, and there is so much pressure in this situation. “I want you to be happy, so if you would rather not have me at the house with you—”

“Your presence is not unwanted, Byakuya. I… Rather like speaking with you.” As sounds surprised at this and Byakuya bites down on the corner of his lip to hide a smile even though he knows As cannot see him. “I’d rather have someone close by. Though the Sternritter are allowed as much privacy as we choose, I got used to having them near most of the time. We could always find each other the moment we needed to.”

“That proximity doesn’t sound bad at all,” Byakuya muses, and As chuckles in answer.

They finish their meal around small talk and when they are done, As returns the mask to his face before allowing the screen to be removed. He looks as tired as Byakuya feels, his night sky eyes a bit duller as he stretches his arms over his head. Every part of him is so small and fragile and Byakuya wants to shield him from the sharp edges of the Seireitei and his own family so suddenly and so fiercely that he’s momentarily dizzy.

He gives his head a shake and clears his throat. “I presume you have nothing to sleep in. You can borrow something of mine if you like, and we can bring your things tomorrow.”

“You don’t mind?” As questions, and Byakuya shakes his head. “Very well. Thank you.”

They locate pajamas together and As disappears into the bathroom to change while Byakuya merely changes in the room itself. He picks the kenseikan out of his hair and sets them on his dresser, then shrugs off his layers of clothing to inspect his chest. There is no scarring, no sign that he nearly died this morning and the thought is startling in more ways than one. There are, of course, different scars, though, and he rubs his fingers over one of them as he sighs and straightens up. How would he tell As about that?

What would his reaction be? Byakuya has no idea what he would say if he knew.

Most of the Seireitei knows, though, so he decides to chance it. Slipping into a pair of pajama pants to sleep in, he lays the top out on the bed and goes about the rest of his nightly ritual, brushing out the knots in the ends of his hair so that by morning it will not be completely unmanageable. He sets his clothing aside for the servants to gather up and adds As’s to the pile. It will be returned clean by morning.

When As exits the bathroom, Byakuya has still not put his shirt on. As seems not to notice at first as he comes to sit on the bed, and Byakuya’s heart gives an uncomfortable thud because he’s not… He just  _ isn’t _ particularly tall or broad and yet his clothing swamps As.

“Is it to your liking?” Byakuya asks, slowly undoing each button on his shirt to draw As’s attention to him. “I don’t think I have anything in your size, unfortunately.”

“It’s very comfortable, so I don’t— Oh.” When As turns to look at him, his eyes widen. And then they drop, and they widen further. So he must have noticed. “You have scars.”

Then he has noticed. “Yes, I do. They’re from surgery. Do you mind them?”

“They’re from chest reconstruction surgery, yes?” As asks, and his voice is so soft, so quiet. So uncertain, his hands moving nervously as they tug at the bottom of his shirt. “Did it hurt? I’ve heard the recovery can be very cumbersome.”

Byakuya’s eyes soften. “The pain was not too great. We have fantastic healers. So you know why I would have had the surgery, then? There’s no need for me to explain?”

“You’re transgender.” As does not stumble over the word. “You don’t need to explain.”

_ Oh. _ Byakuya blinks at him a handful of times, not sure what to say. Not sure it would be so easy for him to accept such a fact when so many of the shinigami continuously asked questions. If he was not a noble and the only living son of his parents, he doubts there would be any true level of acceptance here. He doubts anyone would use the proper name, the one he chose himself when he was old enough to make the decision.

“I’m glad, then. I trust this won’t be an issue between the two of us?” Byakuya presses.

As shakes his head, though the way he drops it as he turns away is concerning. “No, it won’t be. I would never presume to tell you that you were wrong about your identity. Should anyone speak against you in front of me, I’d shut them down. I’m glad you figured it out at all in a world that seems so… Antagonistic to the ideas of progressiveness and change.”

“I was lucky. I had friends who cared about me.” He had his parents, and he had Yoruichi who would always stand by him. “Are you all right? If this is going to be a problem—”

This time when As shakes his head, his hair flies out just a touch more, as if he’s becoming distressed. “It really isn’t. I have nothing but respect for you. I just… I never… Hmm.”

“Hmm?” Byakuya stretches out a hand to touch his back, and As jumps before relaxing into his touch. Perhaps he is not the only one starved of affection. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help. There’s little I can do until I know the nature of your distress.”

“I worried so much about whether or not I would be able to tell you and yet…” As tips his head back, and Byakuya watches him carefully. “I don’t… I  _ understand _ .”

_ Understand? _ “Are there members of your ranks who are also transgender, then?”

“Yes.” As looks over his shoulder at him and there is something… Sad in his eyes, something that makes Byakuya’s heart squeeze. What did he say to provoke such a reaction? “Of course. I was wondering if I would have time to tell you before you would notice. It’s not easy to notice, but some people have. It makes me nervous. But…”

Byakuya is the one who understands now. “You, too?”

“Me, too.” As picks at the end of the shirt again, turning slowly back around to face him. He’s so hunched-in that it almost hurts to look at him. “I wasn’t sure I could tell you. It’s very rare for me to tell anyone, but I thought that if we were to be married—”

“Look at me.” Byakuya cups As’s chin and makes sure those dark eyes meet his, noting the slight alarm in them. He makes no move to remove the mask, though. “You need only tell those you are comfortable with. No one else has a right to know. Only those people.”

Long, liquid black lashes tremble slightly. “I know that. But it wasn’t like I could have hidden it from you. Besides… If this is how things are, then I can be comfortable here.”

“I’m happy to offer you a safe place in which you can be honest and be yourself with me.” Byakuya softens his hold, brushes a few locks of hair away from As’s throat and behind his shoulder. “This is a comfort to me as well. There was always the chance that you would find out and hate me, and I decided I’d rather know right away than drag it out.”

“I would have dragged it out, but then, I’m a coward.” As drags his knees up to his chest and looks incredibly small. “There are so many things I find myself afraid of.”

“You’ve no need to be afraid of my reaction.” Byakuya sits close to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, letting As press up against his side. Holding him there so he knows he’s safe here and that no one is going to hurt him. “No one will speak ill of your identity here. No one will hurt you. Everyone will refer to you by name, respectfully, because you will be my husband, and I will demand it. If anyone does otherwise, I will punish them.”

As looks up at him, one thin brow raised. “Are you always so melodramatic about things?”

“This is perhaps the one time I find it justified.” Just the same, the comment makes Byakuya smile. “You’ve shared something very important with me. I want you to know that does mean quite a lot to me even if you only did it because I did first.”

“Thank you for telling me. It does make me feel safer.” As slowly lets his legs slide back down onto the mattress, sighing softly as he leans into Byakuya’s half-embrace.

“I’m glad.” Byakuya is… Overwhelmed. He’d been the one to initiate the touch and yet he feels lost with As so close to him, the soft black of his hair perhaps centimeters away from Byakuya’s chin. It’s nice to have him this close, but when was the last time Byakuya allowed someone in such close proximity? “Are you going to be comfortable sleeping here, still? I am aware that it would be a tall order to ask you to stay here.”

Slowly, As nods. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I’m very tired now, though, more so than I was before. I’d like to go to bed right away if that’s all right with you?”

“Of course it is. I was planning on that myself.” Byakuya reaches for his shirt and quickly dons it so he can go about the room and extinguish the candlelight, giving As time to get comfortable beneath the bedspread while he does so.

Once the room is bathed in darkness, Byakuya returns to bed and takes up a position on the untouched side, not sure which way to face, what to do with his hands or his legs, where to look. With Hisana, Byakuya was wrapped around her. The two of them were a single entity trapped in the sheets together, limbs tangled, his chin tucked down against the top of her hair. He would presume no such thing with As Nodt.

As lays with his back to him, and the room is quiet until he chooses to break the silence. “Where did you learn the phrase  _ meine Liebe _ and why did you use it?”

“You are not the first German speaker I’ve encountered.” Byakuya wonders how As felt when he heard those words. If it was nearly as disarming as when As murmured  _ anata _ in that soft voice of his. “I thought it would be appropriate for the situation. Was it?”

“For our illusion, it’s a very appropriate term of endearment,” As tells him.

“Do you have any issue with my using it when the situation calls for it?” Byakuya asks.

Silence for a moment before As answers him. “No. I’ve never heard someone use the term in my direction before. It threw me off for just a moment to hear it.”

The weight of that statement makes Byakuya’s chest tight and he  _ dares, _ like a fool, to move closer to his fiance under the duvet, slipping an arm around his waist to pull As’s back against his chest. If As has an objection to this, he does not voice it, and it does not come across in the way he settles his hand on top of Byakuya’s own on his stomach.

“Then I suppose I’ll continue using it, and you’re welcome to keep using  _ anata _ as you see fit.” Byakuya nearly has to murmur the words into his hair with As this close to him. His hair is soft. “Sweet dreams,  _ meine Liebe. _ We have a long road ahead of us yet.”

As’s breath hitches softly before he laughs, and the sound is better than anything Byakuya could have hoped for. The hand on his own tightens, fingers pressing between his own until he gets the hint and spreads them. Their hands twine together so naturally. “Very well,  _ anata. _ Get some rest. You’ll need it if you plan on almost dying on me every day.”

“I promise I won’t leave you a widower,” Byakuya tells him, and As chuckles back at him.

It only hits him right as sleep is about to claim him and drag him under in the quiet darkness that such a statement could be taken in another meaning entirely.

And he wonders briefly why it was not the first thing to come to his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yodels they're so fucking cute


	8. Chapter 8

Renji does his best not to make waves when it comes to the goings-on in the Seireitei, not keen on having anything to do with the nobles who make up this territory. Upsetting one of them is not worth the price he would have to pay in order to fix things.

He hangs back in the shadows of the Gotei Thirteen, though, and he watches. It becomes somewhat commonplace to see the familiar white uniforms of the Quincy, and after a week of their presence within the Seireitei, everyone seems to have grown adjusted to them. Renji himself cares not all that much, all things considered. As long as he can go about his job without causing any problems, he’s content to sit back and watch for now.

Or he would be if one of those Quincy was not constantly at his captain’s side.

_ What did you think he meant when he said he’d go through with the arranged marriage? _ Renji asks himself, trying to focus on the paperwork laid out on his desk.  _ You knew he meant it. You know he doesn’t say things like that and not mean them. _

He knows Kuchiki Byakuya better than anyone, after all.

“Renji.” Byakuya’s voice interrupts his thoughts and he glances up at him, unsurprised to see what has become a natural expression on his captain’s face: concern. Byakuya is worried about him. “You seem exhausted. Perhaps you should go rest. It’s a quiet day.”

It is a quiet day. Though the Twelfth investigated the occurrence of the strange Adjuchas present in the Rukongai the day that he and Byakuya were nearly killed, there was no evidence of anything other than wandering predators. Part of him should be relieved about this and yet another part of him wants to know  _ why. _ Why did he and Byakuya nearly have to die, and why did the Sternritter have to be the ones to come save them? It makes no sense.  _ It isn’t fair. _ Renji feels like he’s dying  _ every day _ now.

“I’m fine, Taichou. Just a little restless. Y’know, not used to it being so quiet.” Renji tips him a smile he does not quite feel and glances back down at his paperwork.

How could it have come to this? He thought he would have more time.

_ How much time did I think I had? How long could I go without telling him the truth before someone else came along? _ The questions keep circulating through his mind endlessly.

“Are you sure? You seem out of sorts lately.” Byakuya lifts his cup of tea to his lips and takes a sip, and Renji tries not to be too distracted by his mouth or by the way his throat moves when he swallows.  _ How _ can anyone be so accidentally lovely? “It’s concerning.”

Renji winces. “I’m sorry to worry you, Taichou. It’s really nothing. I’m not used to the quiet and it’s taking a little bit of time to get used to… All the changes. You know what I mean?”

“Yes, I believe I understand what you mean. I’m engaged to one of those changes, as it were.” Byakuya drops the comment into the conversation so benignly and yet it makes Renji’s entire heart shatter inside of his ribcage, dropping down into small shards in his gut. “I think everyone is taking well to their presence here, wouldn’t you say?”

“I’d agree to that, yeah. They’re not bad people like we always assumed they were.” Quite the opposite, as far as Renji has been able to tell. They sincerely want to help people.

His only true concern at this point lies in their king. Yhwach is… Nothing like Renji has ever seen before, a man whose internal power makes his skin itch the same way Aizen’s always had after he revealed himself for who he truly was all along. Yet Yhwach seems quite the opposite, genteel and logical. He wants to talk about issues and find solutions, and that is a valuable trait to have. Just not one Renji knows how to handle right now.

Byakuya dips his pen back into its inkwell. “It’s for the best that we all get along. The Soldat have already proven to be remarkably talented at keeping Hollows at bay.”

“Yeah, I got to see that myself a few days ago.” Most of the lieutenants have at this point, having been sent on scouting missions to make sure the Quincy are behaving themselves.

They have impeccable talent. They can distract the Hollows, injure them to keep them from attacking, and manipulate reishi to keep them pinned in place until the shinigami can come purify them. Though Renji is both impressed and relieved, he still feels uneasy just the same. Guess he isn’t much better than the older shinigami in the long-run, always doubting something that is meant to make their lives easier because it’s new.

“They’re not hard to work with?” Byakuya looks up at him just as Renji registers this is meant to be a question. “I haven’t the chance. We’re working on something where the captains and the Sternritter will be joining together in operations to take on any more large Hollows or possibly the remnants of Aizen’s Arrancar army.”

That makes Renji’s gut twist.  _ Taichou working with As Nodt? Why does it have to bother me so damn much? Why does it have to be  _ him? “No, they’re great. Listen to directions, do as they’re told, back off when they need to. Yhwach has got ‘em well-trained.”

“That’s good to hear. As has only said a few things about the training of the Sternritter, but none of it has led me to believe they’d be anything but. I was just curious.” Again, Byakuya drops  _ that name _ into the conversation so easily it makes Renji sick.

“Seems like the Sternritter and Yhwach get along just fine,” Renji says for want of anything better, and at least it can leave his tongue without poisoning him in the process.

“They appear to, yes. I wonder why that level of camaraderie is so common among them.” Byakuya glances up at him, as if expecting Renji to have some kind of idea, but Renji only shrugs it off and goes back to his paperwork. He’s tired of this conversation now.

Though he’s never been fond of paperwork, working in the same space as Byakuya has become something almost unbearable every single time he has to drag himself inside of these four walls. It’s always been difficult. Trying to focus on his work instead of stealing glances at his captain has made it hard for him to keep up over the years, especially in warmer weather where Byakuya leaves the window open. The warm breezes that slip inside lift the ends of his hair, drawing dark strands across his face that he tucks back with long fingers. Renji wants to twine those fingers with his and kiss Byakuya’s knuckles.

But now, it’s worse. He used to find himself annoyed when someone would interrupt them because it would always be when he was staring, and he risked getting caught. Now, when someone interrupts, it’s usually the same person, and Renji loathes seeing him.

He has just signed his name on the last document he needs to worry about for the day, thinking that he should make up an excuse about checking on their recruits, when a familiar soft knock comes at the door. The sound reverberates along his spine.

_ Damn it. I was so close to getting out of here before he showed up! _

“Please come in,” Byakuya calls out, not lifting his eyes from the work before him.

Renji clears his throat. “Taichou, I’m done for the day. Mind if I head out to train with the new recruits? They could probably use a little more guided experience.”

“Of course, Renji. If you’re as restless as you say you are, it might be good for you.” Byakuya holds his hand out and Renji sets his paperwork firmly in Byakuya’s grip, watching him flip through the pages to assure himself that everything is in order when the door opens and As Nodt lets himself into their shared office space.

Now, Renji could never hate him. As is soft-spoken and reserved and so he meshes well with Byakuya’s natural aloof personality; the two of them seem like they were designed for each other. How could Renji hate someone that Byakuya might be  _ meant _ to be with?

_ Because I want it to be me, _ he thinks morosely.  _ I want him to think it’s meant to be  _ me.

“Sorry to have come so late,” As says, quiet voice muffled behind the soft black fabric of his face mask. He always seems to have one on, though Renji is unsure as to why. “I was at a meeting with his Majesty and the Grandmaster. We were discussing the final touches of the plan to have the Sternritter work alongside the Gotei Thirteen— Oh, hello, Abarai-san. I hope I’m not interrupting the two of you working.”

Byakuya waves a hand to gesture As closer to his desk. “It is fine. Renji just finished his work for the day and was leaving. Do let me know how the new recruits are faring?”

“I will. Nice to see you again, As.” Renji nods his head at the Sternritter as he passes him, though he can’t quite resist throwing a look over his shoulder. He is a masochist, it seems.

Instead of taking Renji’s empty seat, As perches on the edge of Byakuya’s desk, hands folded neatly in front of him, while Byakuya turns slightly to look up at him. The fact Byakuya doesn’t catch him looking at all just  _ proves _ that this supposed “arrangement” is more than it has any right to be. Why does it have to end up like this? Why does Byakuya’s desire to fulfill his duties have to result in Renji losing him for good?

He shuts the door as quietly as he can, resisting the urge to slam it in frustration.

Though he said he wanted to train with the recruits, he doesn’t want to take his out on them right now. And it’s early in the day but  _ fuck _ it, he needs a drink. So he decides to draft his apology to his captain in his head as he walks himself down to the bar.

Most of the Soldat remains in their white uniforms, making it easy to differentiate them from the shinigami and the civilians, so Renji nods to each of them in turn as he walks the streets. If he wasn’t a lieutenant, he doubts anyone would be treating him with civility or kindness, and that is its own special form of hell as well.

Despite the time of day, the tavern he locates is doing decent business. He used to come here often with Shuhei and Kira, and he tried to make it a point to watch over them as they mourned the loss of their beloved captains, and then their deaths months later. He never thought Kira would be able to pull himself back together after that, but… Rose is a miracle worker as far as Renji can tell. The two of them get along fine.

Renji orders sake, tucks himself into a corner, and is enjoying the somewhat peace of the quiet here when an all too familiar face drops down into the booth across from him. “Well, well. I haven’t seen you since I dragged your almost-corpse into the city.”

Bazzard Black, aka Bazz-B. Designation: Sternritter “H”: The Heat.

“Guess that’s true,” Renji admits, wondering what the  _ hell _ he did to end up with this loudmouth sitting across from him and, admittedly, looking a little worse for the wear. “I know some of the Soldat said you’re wild but you look like you haven’t slept since that day.”

There are dark, bruise-like smudges under Bazz’s jade green eyes, but the man himself only shrugs it off, falling back against the backrest of his booth. “What can I say? It’s a big city and I’m trying to explore every single inch of it while I can.”

“That mean drinking in the middle of the day?” Renji asks, and Bazz throws back his head and  _ laughs, _ and the sound makes half of the people near them jump in shock.

“Glass houses and stones, man, you’re the one who’s already into the bottle. I haven’t touched a drop.  _ Yet. _ ” Bazz drapes his arms along the back of the booth and Renji eyes one of them. Unlike most of the Sternritter who tend to wear longer sleeves despite the heat, Bazz is wearing a vest, and his impressive biceps are out. He’s  _ ripped. _ “You’re staring, man.”

“Don’t really recall the Sternritter uniform looking like casual BDSM wear,” Renji says.

Bazz cocks his head at him, and there is a dangerous glint in his green eyes. “That’s what it made you think of, huh? You must be staring for a reason I wasn’t even thinking about.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not interested in you.” Renji downs another shot and the burn of it gives him something to distract the ache in his chest. “It’s just a uniform change.”

“Sensitive, huh?” Bazz smirks at him, but Renji doesn’t rise to take the bait. Not today, not ever. “It’s hot. ‘Long as I’m wearing some version of the uniform, his Majesty stays off my back about casual wear. ‘Sides, I’ll wear long sleeves if it suits me, but catching my own damn clothes on fire ain’t really something I’m overly fond of doing.”

Fire? Renji mulls that over for a minute and then smacks himself in the forehead. “I fucking forgot you had fire powers. I didn’t even realize what the hell you meant.”

“Hell’s one way to put it. But yeah, fire powers. They’re impressive, too.” Bazz grins at him and Renji… Thinks that it’s a very predatory smile, but there’s something just off about it, too. And then Bazz leans forward and snaps his fingers right in front of Renji’s face.

The heat is what registers first, and that alone has Renji slamming his back into the booth. The thin flames dancing from the tips of Bazz’s fingers aren’t necessarily frightening and they wouldn’t have done anything more than singe his eyebrows, but the sudden display startles him, as does the way Bazz roars with laughter as he snaps the flames away.

_ Bastard. _ Renji thought they were all supposed to be getting  _ along _ with each other.

“Sorry. That trick never gets old.” Bazz waves down someone to bring him a drink and then turns back to Renji, dropping his chin into the palm of his hand. “You know, if Jugo knew I was here right now, he’d be giving me the whole talk about how he’s disappointed in my decisions. I didn’t think the shinigami lieutenants could drink in the middle of the day.”

“Taichou’ll let me have it when he finds out, but I needed to take the edge off.” Renji pours himself another shot. “When he’s not busy with his fiance. You engaged, too?”

Bazz shakes his head, accepting the glass and bottle brought to him with a surprisingly winning smile. The man is  _ attractive; _ Renji is hardly blind. “Nah, marriage isn’t my thing so I made it pretty damn clear I wanted to take my time in choosing. What can I say? Don’t think there’s anyone out there who can make an honest man out of me.”

“That’s your prerogative, man. I respect that.” And he isn’t really surprised to hear it, either. He doesn’t think he knows anyone who would settle down with someone like this.

“This shit’s pretty good once the taste grows on you.” Bazz takes his own shot of sake and Renji, distracted, watches the way his Adam’s apple bobs with the movement. Holy  _ shit, _ he needs to calm down. This is  _ not _ a mistake he wants to make because of heartache.

So he shrugs in answer and drinks his own. “Yeah. Hey, who the hell is Jugo?”

The question makes Bazz pause, and Renji can almost see the gears churning in his head before he clears his throat and spits out an answer. “Jugram Haschwalth, the Grandmaster of the Sternritter. Or the Balance. Or his Majesty’s fucking destined soulmate.”

“You don’t sound, uh… Happy about that last part.”  _ Man, if he hates gay people, what the— _

“Would you be if your childhood friend that you’d been in love with since you were like ten years old just looked up at this guy one day and up and decided that was the person he was meant to follow for the rest of his life?” Bazz’s voice is… Intense, and strained, and Renji’s mouth falls open at the words. “Don’t say a goddamn word about what I just said. You never heard any of it. Today is not my day or I wouldn’t have let that slip out.”

Renji shuts his mouth, swallows, and tries again. “You sounded like you needed to say it.”

“You can only spend a thousand years swallowing that down, y’know.” Bazz looks away, and Renji can recognize the look in his eye. The way he’s carefully putting his walls back up after just bulldozing them down on accident. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t know.”

“Maybe not a thousand years worth of knowing, but… I know.” Renji leans over and clinks their glasses together, and Bazz looks back at him. Curious, now, less upset. “I’m about to lose him, you know that? My captain. He’s gonna get married to one of your people.”

Bazz leans back in his seat again and whistles, the sound low. “The pretty captain who almost died on us, huh? Damn. I’m sorry. I know just how rough that is.”

“Let’s not think about it, though, huh?” The last thing he wants to do is commiserate. Instead, Renji picks up his bottle of sake. If he’s going to disappoint Byakuya, he might as well go all-out. “Let’s see how long it takes us to get through this booze.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so two redheads walk into a bar-


	9. Chapter 9

As thinks there should be a limit on how many times you can wake up in a bed and still think of yourself as a  _ guest _ in someone else’s home. He thinks there should be a cosmic rule that dictates that once your clothes are neatly folded with someone else’s in a drawer and you wake up next to them every morning, you should feel at home by default.

The Seireitei is never going to feel like home. The sooner he gets used to that, the better.

Halfway through his second week living there, he finally convinces Giselle to leave her personal space behind and come visit with him. She doesn’t want to think about how he is not just on a  _ vacation _ from Silbern. No part of her wants to admit that once the marriage is set in stone, As will not be coming back. The warmth and the fresh air will be better for his health in the long-run first of all, but he knows better. He knows there is no untangling Byakuya from the knots of his family and his division, so As has to compromise for him.

“You really don’t have to live here,” Giselle tells him, her arm looped through his. Her hair is freshly washed and brushed and it gleams blue under the bright sunlight, and her white uniform is unusually pristine. Her nails are a pale, powdery blue. “You could come back home. I don’t know why you have to live with him. You don’t even know him.”

Sighing softly, As shakes his head at her, tugging her along the street at a quick enough pace that most people will not be able to pick up her words. “You don’t understand—”

“No, I do. Haschwalth already talked to me about this like three days ago.” Giselle rolls her eyes as if nothing could be more troublesome to her than talking to Haschwalth.

“Oh?” As frowns. Most of the time, their Grandmaster is concerned with his Majesty, and he rarely if ever confronts any of them directly unless they make a mistake serious enough to deserve a reprimandation. He does it privately and discreetly. “What about?”

“He says that I’m dragging my feet on  _ committing _ and I just need to make a decision already on whether I want to do it or not.” Giselle rolls her lips inward, releases them in a wet pop and raises her eyebrows at him as dramatically high as it appears she can. “He’s mad that I haven’t said yes or no, but like, they just  _ sprung _ it on us. And they  _ knew. _ ”

“His Majesty had to have known,” As agrees, because he understands enough about the Almighty to know that if Yhwach chose this future for them, then he knew the extent of what it would entail. Why he kept this from them, As doesn’t know, but he has to trust this is for the best for all of them because what other choice does he have? And his Majesty has never led them astray. “I don’t know if he would have told Haschwalth.”

Giselle gives him this pitying look that he loathes with every fiber of his being. “Of course he did. I don’t think they can actually hide things from each other. I mean, once night hits, I guess Haschwalth could find out everything. Besides, they’re like… Soulmates.”

“They are,” As agrees, even though he doesn’t understand the finer points of that, either.

“Bambietta already said yes. Did you know that? I just found out yesterday.” Giselle says it in this distant voice that says  _ this _ is what she wanted to really talk about.

Gently, As laces his fingers with hers and squeezes her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell her, but it’s not like she would have returned the feelings. I mean, maybe, but I couldn’t be sure. Besides, I waited. I’m not allowed to be upset about it.” Giselle tries to laugh it off, but her large ruby blue eyes are sad, and As’s heart hurts for her. He knows how much she loves Bambietta.

“You can be upset,” he tells her. “You can have feelings about things. That’s okay.”

Scoffing, Giselle shakes her hair back, but As can see her rapidly blinking away the moisture in her eyes. She doesn’t want to look weak in front of anyone. “Yeah, but I can’t take them out on anyone. I just have to be okay with this whether I like it or not.”

“If you want to go somewhere private to talk about it, we could go back to the estate,” As offers. They could close the bedroom door and no one would bother them at all.

“No way. No.” Giselle stops and takes a deep breath, one that makes her entire chest inflate, and releases it in a huff. “No, I’m fine. I’m cool. This does not upset me.”

Gently, As bumps his shoulder against hers. “You’re still very strong, Gigi.”

“Always. Now, tell me more about this soon-to-be husband of yours,” she insists.

When Giselle became one of the Sternritter, it was maybe three days after Yhwach found her and brought her back to Silbern. She was different then, less cool and more prone to letting small things upset her. She hated herself. Like As, she had a body that didn’t work for her and an outlook on life that was absolutely foul. When she received her Schrift and became one of them, she met As. It was like that was all she needed to toughen up.

He likes to think he helps her. He likes to think their friendship is a rock that she can always fall back on when it’s hard for her to be strong. But she surrounds herself with tough women. Women like Bambietta, whose body just seems too small to contain all of her personality, or Meninas, whose bubbly sweetness is a coating over her strength, or Candice, who would sooner beat down anyone who looked at her sideways.

Giselle wants to be strong like the women around her and she  _ is _ and As only hopes she can see that without beating herself up about having her heart broken like this.

“Byakuya seems to be a fine man. I haven’t been able to find anything wrong with him,” As admits, and Giselle hums thoughtfully, taking his hand and swinging it back and forth.

“Does he know about you?” she asks, and seems surprised when As nods. “That’s… It’s not like you to tell someone that soon. Did he just find out, or—”

“He told me first,” As says, and Giselle just stops walking all together and stares at him.

She has an expressive face and it shows, her nose scrunching up, her eyebrows drawing together, her lips twisting into a confused little pout before she plants her hands on her hips. “You’re kidding me. In  _ this _ place? I don’t think I’d believe it even if it were true.”

“It’s true. He showed me the scars.” As… Doesn’t know what to think still. He never would have clocked Byakuya. Even with as pretty as he is for a man, there were not enough signs. He has broad shoulders and a deep voice and a quiet graceful power surrounding him at all times like a mantle. As is maybe just a little jealous of that.

He knows it wasn’t easy to get there, though. The Seireitei doesn’t have his Majesty at the helm, who would never have accepted any barbs thrown at his Sternritter.

“Oh, he has?” Giselle gestures at her own chest and As nods; Giselle makes a face at him. “Are you okay about that? It didn’t, like, upset you or anything did it?”

“Giselle, God, no.” As shakes his head, pushes his hands through his hair and ignores the protesting noises Giselle makes at him. He knows she’s just worried about him. “I want him to do anything and everything he has to do to feel comfortable. It isn’t about me.”

Her hands are feather-light when they land on his shoulders, squeezing gently. “I know that, but I just want to make sure. I know it all still bothers you a lot.”

It does. It does bother him, but that’s a  _ him _ issue and he would never put that on anyone else. “I’m just happy he was able to do it. That he’s living his truth, you know?”

“I know. Of course I know.” Giselle smoothes his hair back out of his face and kisses him on the forehead, and she has to stretch up on her toes a little to do that. “I just worry about you. I know this isn’t… This is a pretty big step out of literally nowhere.”

“If his Majesty wasn’t nudging us all this way, I don’t think any of us would do it on our own.” And it’s true. Most of them had nothing before they had the Sternritter and his Majesty and their unity, and that seems to work for the vast majority of them.

There are men like Lille who are here for his Majesty alone, but As does not think about it.

Giselle scrunches her nose up at him adorably. “Yeah, probably not. I mean, I know you definitely weren’t going to go out and date casually. Does he, uh… Know about…”

“No.” As doesn’t need to ask what she’s talking about, adjusting the mask on his face to make sure it does not slip. None of them do, but As is paranoid and rightfully so.

“Okay.” Giselle takes a deep breath, and then says all at once on her exhale, “You know if you ever wanted me to fix it, I could fix it, like it would hurt but I could definitely fix it.”

“I know. I’m thinking about that.” Off and on, he thinks about it.

Again, Giselle makes the cute face up at him. “I just, if you like the guy it’d be a real shame that you don’t get to kiss him at the wedding, you know? I was just thinking that.”

“I see.” He didn’t think about it. He probably should have.

Then Giselle wraps both of her arms around one of his and drags him. “Show me around.”

As does not have scars from surgery like Byakuya does, nothing neat and calculated and set ahead of time. No, he has scars because life was cruel to him before Yhwach found him, and now he lives with those because he has to get used to them. When Yhwach walked into his hospital room, he’d been idly contemplating death for the last few weeks certain that he was never getting out of the bed. Even though the flesh around his mouth was starting to heal and stinging less every time he dared to speak, even though his nurses were talking about taking off the oxygen mask soon, he thought he would die.

Maybe he just gave up on the idea of trying to be alive. That sounds correct, at least.

He would have avoided telling Byakuya for as long as possible if it was his choice because the last time he earnestly told someone, he ended up in the hospital. He ended up with acid splashed on his face and beaten so badly that lying in a hospital bed and just being awake took too much energy out of him. At that point, death seemed inevitable.

Brought up religious, he thought he would go to hell. The church hated trans people, at least the one he was raised in. When he was younger, he believed that church was the be-all, end-all when it came to what was right and wrong. He knows better now, but then he was sure he would die and burn in hell, and he didn’t want that. Didn’t want to live, either.

So he still has the scars on his face and sometimes his mouth is sore because of them, and eating is weird and sometimes difficult, but he wants… He wants it not to bother him. He wants to be able to accept it as something unchanging and learn to live with it.

That isn’t going to happen, and he knows it. But he’s also afraid of just how much it would hurt to rip the wounds open anew just so Giselle could heal them with the Zombie.

“U-um, excuse me!” The words come out in a squeak and As stops in his tracks when he recognizes the voice, glancing over his shoulder to find Kuchiki Rukia behind him. Her face is slightly flushed; she must have rushed to catch up with him. “Sorry, I was trying to catch up with you but I don’t think you heard me.”

“Hello!” Giselle waves to her cheerfully, and Rukia’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

As turns to face Rukia properly. They’ve only spoken once or twice since he agreed to marry her brother. She seems wary of him, and he doesn’t blame her. “My apologies. I was showing a friend around. This is Giselle Gewelle, another of the Sternritter.”

“O-oh! It’s lovely to meet you, then.” Rukia bows nervously and As hides a smile behind his mask because Rukia goes a little shy when it comes to the important members of their ranks. “I was just with nii-sama and he asked me to send you his way if I saw you.”

Byakuya wants to see him? “I see. I’ll go and meet with him, then.”

“And we were just getting to the good part.” Giselle heaves a sigh and As can’t really blame her because he thought he would be free today. Most days, he is. Byakuya has work, and he has clan business, and they really only see each other at dinner. “Go on, then, darling.”

“Of course.” As presses the back of her hand to his mask in a mock-kiss and Giselle beams at him. “There’s nothing stopping you from looking around on your own.”

Giselle’s eyes flutter toward Rukia, whose spine goes ramrod straight immediately. “Hmm, maybe I don’t have to? Nii-sama, so Byakuya is your brother? Is that right?”

“Yes,” As says for her, and Rukia looks visibly relieved to have him step in on her behalf. “This is Kuchiki Rukia, the lieutenant of the Thirteenth Division.”

“Lieutenant? That means you must be pretty special to earn that title.” Giselle bounces up to her and Rukia looks up at her, which is impressive. Most people are taller than Giselle because she is small, self-contained into a cute package. “Kuchiki-san, why don’t you show me around the Seireitei? I’m liable to get lost if I go wandering around on my own.”

Rukia blinks up at her like she’s dazed before smiling timidly and nodding. “Of course.”

As only leaves the two of them when they look like they’re about to go off without him, making his way through the now-familiar streets to the barracks of the Sixth where Byakuya can usually be found during the day. He’s waiting in his private office, the one he reserves for just himself, the one even his lieutenant is not allowed to enter. But As can and does, and he doesn’t have to use the shadows under the door to do so.

Byakuya opens the door a moment after he knocks and invites him in. “I apologize for being so busy the last few days. It’s been hectic. I hope you’ve been having an enjoyable stay.”

“Of course.” As is a bit taken aback but takes a seat on the other side of Byakuya’s desk when he’s ushered toward it. “Should you be taking time out of your day for this?”

“If there isn’t time available, then I’m making it now.” Byakuya pours him a cup of tea and As quietly turns his chair at the right angle that he can drink it, pulling the heavy weight of his hair over his shoulder so he can hide as much of his face as possible with ease.

Taking the mask off feels freeing. He wishes he could keep it off, but… Byakuya has been kind, but there are only so many limits a single person can have. “Thank you for the tea.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’d be rude not to offer, after all.” Byakuya sounds quiet for a moment, and As can imagine the expression on his face. He’s seen what Byakuya looks like when he goes quiet and distant. “I was thinking maybe the two of us should just… Have a day to ourselves. The current climate is a bit hectic but I could force the time as captain.”

As is quiet, staring down at his mug of tea. Watching the steam curl from the top of it. “This is just an arranged marriage still, isn’t it? We don’t have to do anything together.”

“It is,” Byakuya agrees, “but I don’t want it to be… Awkward. I don’t want us to be two strangers who share a bed at night. That just seems odd to me. I’d like to be friends.”

_ Friends. _ The word uncurls warm and solid in As’s chest, and he nods a little at the thought of it. It would be nice to be friends, better than just being emptily married with nothing really to show for it. “I think I’d like that. Being friends sounds nice.”

“I thought we could try having breakfast out in the garden tomorrow morning when it’s nice out,” Byakuya offers, and As likes the sound of that. He likes how peaceful the gardens are. “Just the two of us. No one else will be allowed to intrude.”

“That sounds lovely,” As murmurs, and he takes a sip of his tea. It’s perfect.

Byakuya is quiet for a moment, and his exhale sounds like one of relief. “Good. I’m glad. I just… Good. All right.” He laughs a little, and As peeks at him again at the sound of it.

They lock eyes for just a moment before As looks away again. “I’m glad, too,” he says.

He takes a sip of his tea and smiles into the steam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //cups hands around mouth// trans siblings


	10. Chapter 10

Bazzard Black’s favorite color is the clear green of Jugram Haschwalth’s eyes.

It was love at first sight; Bazz is sure of this a thousand years down the line when his world has finished crumbling to pieces and he is trying to make sense of the rubble as he walks the streets of Soul Society. There is no hiding who he is or what he’s here for, not when his magenta mohawk gives him away, not when the clean white of his uniform could never be anything but foreign to these people. Even without all of that, his reiatsu is unmistakable, and the Sternritter are nothing less than spiritually impressive.

His Majesty would never choose anyone unworthy to carry a Schrift on their soul.

In some ways, Bazz thinks it might have been cruel of Yhwach to recognize his talent and finally gift him with the dignity he deserves. He wishes he could have been ground down into the lower ranks of the Soldat where someone like him would never have to interact with the rest of the Sternritter. Where he would take orders from other people and never have to think twice about what the ranks of the elite do.

In so many ways, Bazz wishes he would never see Jugram ever again.

“Here again?” The voice belongs to Abarai Renji, the lieutenant of the Sixth Division. The location is the same tavern Bazz met him in the same day Lille took him aside and reminded him, sternly but calmly, to not cause trouble now that they have a semblance of peace.

He hates that Lille has the right to do that. He hates even more that Lille is right.

“Looks like it.” The tavern is a nice enough establishment and Bazz has never been someone who likes to drink alone. He’d usually drink with Cang Du, but the bastard has been busy working alongside one of the captains. “You have a rough day at work again?”

They at least have the intelligence to meet at night this time. Supposedly Renji never faced any backlash for drinking in the middle of the day, but Bazz got an earful from Jugram as soon as he came back to Silbern to crash for the night. He could stay in the Seireitei, but what was the point? He wasn’t  _ trying _ to romance a shinigami, after all.

The others can do what they want. Bazz knows his heart too well for that nonsense.

“Stayed away from the office as much as I could. Don’t really wanna be around Taichou right now.” Even in his most upset and rebellious moments, Renji never refers to Kuchiki Byakuya with anything less than the utmost respect. It almost makes Bazz want to meet the man properly just to see what about him seems to command so much.

Bazz sits down at their usual booth and crosses his ankles beneath the table, the bottom of his boots scuffing along the wooden floor. “Can’t say I blame you for that at all.”

“I don’t mind being around him. I know… It’s my fault for not saying something to him sooner.” Renji runs a finger along the neck of his bottle of sake; there are two glasses on the table, and Bazz drags the empty one closer. “But I can’t stand to see them together.”

“Again, I don’t blame you. I know what it’s like to see someone you love with someone else.” It eats at his gut like a cancer, threatening to devour every part of him all at once.

Renji squints at him, then sighs softly. “I guess you’ve been having a rough time, too.”

“It’s been a millennium. I’m used to it by this point.” This is not necessarily true, and Renji knows it, but it is what Bazz needs to tell himself so he can go on. The reality that he might never be over it is not something he wants to focus on. “Kinda sad it had to be As. I love the weird little creep and didn’t want him to end up in something so… Loveless.”

“I don’t think it’s gonna end up being loveless by the end,” Renji mutters into his drink.

That, Bazz decides, is a fair assessment of the situation even if he knows little about it. After all, As is not usually one of the people he works alongside, and even when he does, As keeps him at a respectable distance. “It started that way on my end too but it sure as fuck didn’t end that way. How’re you gonna stand having to work directly with your captain?”

“Dunno. It’s never been this bad before. I didn’t become his lieutenant until his wife was dead. I didn’t even know him when she was alive.” Renji barks a small, choked sound of laughter before dropping his forehead down onto his arm with a dull thud.

Gently, Bazz pats him on the back of the head and snatches the bottle of sake. He’s grown a taste for the stuff very fast. “I wish you luck. I know it isn’t easy on my end at all.”

“I didn’t think it was,” Renji says, though his words are half-muffled by the angle of his head. “I don’t know what to  _ do _ or what to say. Do I just not tell him? Do I accept that he picked someone else and let him go? I feel like I can’t just do that.”

“Does it really matter if you tell him? It’s an arranged marriage. You can’t just have something on the side of his marriage?” Bazz asks, raising an eyebrow when Renji tilts his head just enough to aim a well-formed and nasty scowl right in his direction.

Slowly, so slowly Bazz thinks Renji must already be tipsy, he forces himself to sit up. “I don’t think you get it. Taichou wouldn’t do something like that. He’s  _ trying. _ I’ve never seen him try with anyone before. Did I ever tell you that he almost killed me one time?”

Bazz is quiet as he picks up his glass, tosses back the drink. It’s warm all the way down, but not as hot as his fire. “No, I don’t think you ever told me about that. Go ahead if you want.”

“It was when Rukia was imprisoned for helping Ichigo. I mean, it was all bullshit. It was all fake. None of us knew it wasn’t real, but it happened, and we were… I wanted to help her.” Renji says this with an earnestness that Bazz can understand all too well. “I had to fight him to do that and maybe I’d always been a little mad at him. Too haughty, too poised, too put together, too _ perfect _ and yet so shallow. I thought there was nothing inside of him.”

“Hollow inside, like a tree,” Bazz offers, and Renji nods and smacks his hand down on the table. Hard. A few people look in their direction, but Bazz glares them away.

Renji, of course, does not notice and pays no mind to this. “I wanted to beat him. I wanted to be better than him. Maybe it would make things make sense. Maybe I’d know if the way I felt toward him was just jealousy or whether it was worse than that. You know?"

_ I don’t. I always loved Jugo. I knew it from the moment I first looked into his eyes. _ “Yes.”

“But he kicked my ass. There was no contest. He said I reached him that day, but I don’t know. I don’t really think so, not in the same way he reached me.” Renji says it like that explains it all, but Bazz gets it. He really does know exactly what Renji means.

In his mind’s eye, he sees a flash of a child’s hand darting out to wrap around an arrow.

“So are you gonna do anything about that or are you gonna let it go?” Bazz asks him.

“You’re missing the point. He just…  _ I  _ was the one who had to do something to get him to stop being an asshole to me all the time.” Renji stresses this and Bazz thinks it must have gone over his head, but his head isn’t screwed onto his shoulders all the time these days. That’s fair. He pours himself another drink. “But that’s not what’s happening now.”

“What  _ is _ happening between them that’s got you all worked up? Like forgive me for being a little skeptical, but I  _ know _ As, and he’s not…” Bazz shrugs and takes a sip.

But Renji stares at him, brown eyes shot with curiosity. “As is not _ what _ exactly?”

The first time Bazz met As, it was just after he received his Schrift and was meant to meet the rest of the Sternritter he would be working alongside from now on. Instead, he pinned himself to a corner of the room and refused to talk to anyone until Nianzol made it very clear he was not going anywhere until As did talk to him. Lille was good with him, talked him down out of his obvious anxiety and got him to loosen up, but it changed nothing intrinsic about him. As has never liked people, and he probably never will.

And he has never been one to pursue any kind of relationship, casual or friendship or otherwise. If it doesn’t come to him by force, then it doesn’t come to him at all.

Bazz respects that. He wishes he was as smart as As. He wishes he knew how to push people away. “Doesn’t like people. Doesn’t date. Doesn’t do romance. Doesn’t really do friends except for like, two, and they’re both weirdos like him. I love them, of course.”

“Of course,” Renji echoes, and Bazz nods, satisfied with his response.

“But As doesn’t… He just doesn’t. And I don’t think he would, not with someone he barely knows, and not with a shinigami captain.” Bazz finishes his drink with a flourish.

Renji nods slowly up at him and then clears his throat, squaring his shoulders like he’s ready for a fight. “With all due respect, I think you’re full of shit.”

“Oh well I guess you’re right by default, you definitely know my people better than I would,” Bazz says. He sounds crabby. Why does he give a shit? As is… He’s just a Sternritter, and maybe Bazz has some respect for him, but it’s not like a thing.

“I mean, you’re not there when he shows up in the office and Taichou just puts everything aside so he can talk to him. He doesn’t do that for  _ anyone _ .”  _ Not even me _ are the unspoken words. Bazz can hear them loud and clear. “He looks at him and talks to him and he sounds like a normal person. Not like a facade of a person. Not like someone pretending.”

That sounds too familiar for Bazz to be comfortable with the description. “Is that so?”

“And the way As is around him is… I guess I don’t know him that well but the way you describe him doesn’t seem right. Or accurate.” Renji looks down at the table and Bazz can tell this is hurting him to talk about. “They look each other in the eye, there’s these little awkward moments where it’s like they don’t know what to do with their hands. Taichou’s sentences break up and he looks like he’s not sure where he’s going with what he says. As gets flustered. Is he easy to fluster, do you know?”

That is not a question Renji should want to ask him. “No. As is unflappable. I’ve seen him mildly annoyed but never in my life have I seen him lose his cool over something like that.”

“So there is something going on. I mean, I knew it. I’m not happy about it, though.” Renji looks appropriately miserable, and Bazz doesn’t really know what to do about that.

“I mean, it’s probably not going to happen. Maybe you just have to wait out the fallout and then you can do your captain on his desk or something.” The murderous glare sent his way has him snickering this time, and he can feel the heat in his face. Oh, he’s good and tipsy. “What? You haven’t thought about it? Bet it gets you through the paperwork.”

“Gotta admit,” Renji says after a minute, “that it’s hard to work with him when I’m horny.”

Bazz laughs at that and they finish off the bottle Renji bought before they leave the tavern behind, leaning heavily on each other as they walk through streets Bazz is now familiar with. He knows this place well enough to be able to navigate it in the dark.

“Where are we going?” he asks, thinking that he’s just sober enough to even care. That’s good. It means he didn’t drink too much and won’t have a hangover in the morning.

Renji is quiet next to him, looking thoughtful. “Well, I’m probably just gonna go back to the barracks and sleep unless you wanted to do something else?”

“Sleep sounds good.” Silbern doesn’t sound good. Bazz is used to the cold but that doesn’t make it easier to fall asleep alone especially when he knows Jugram and Yhwach are somewhere deeper in the heart of the palace itself, tangled together. A mobius strip of infinite possibility and power. “You care if I crash at your place? I’m tired.”

“Don’t you just gotta walk through a shadow and you’re back home?” Renji asks.

That probably means he wants Bazz to give him some space, which makes sense and is fair. Bazz still pushes. “Yeah but I don’t wanna go back. It’s worse there than it is here.”

“Fair.” Renji looks at him, and Bazz thinks it’s too bad Kuchiki Byakuya isn’t interested in his lieutenant because the man is handsome if severely rough around the edges. He might clean up nice, though. “I got a spare futon and I really don’t give a shit.”

“That works for me. Thanks, man.” Bazz will owe him, but this is an easy debt to repay.

When he was a kid, Bazz was an insomniac to the nth degree. He remembers roaming the castle at night, clinging to the shadows to keep any of the servants from seeing him as he explored every nook and cranny of the place he called home. When his parents died and his castle burned and there was nothing left, he found himself curled up around Jugram every night. It was just the two of them against the elements, so sleeping close was necessary so that neither of them froze to death some time in the night.

He still remembers the soft silky press of Jugram’s hair against his nose when he first woke up each morning, early sunshine spilling down on them. He remembers Jugram’s slender back against his broader chest and thinks it would be perfect if things could just go back to the way they were. Jugram doesn’t have to fight; Bazz will fight  _ for _ him.

But Bazz is an idiot and he knows none of this could ever really come to pass.

The futon is comfortable enough to do for the night and despite being tired, Renji sits up on his own for long enough that Bazz turns to look at him. “Are you gonna sleep or not?”

“Did you know we’re supposed to stay at the barracks? Taichou used to every once in a while. Think the empty house got to him.” Renji pinches the bridge of his nose and Bazz makes a noise to let him know he’s listening to him. “He sleeps at the house now. With him.”

With As? The thought is alien and unwelcome. Bazz has no desire to think about As with  _ any _ man because he just doesn’t… Think of him that way. Nor want to. As is a colleague, after all. “And you jerk off here in the dark alone? That’s a very relatable feeling.”

No one knows better than him, after all, about muffling names into his pillow.

“Yeah.” Renji runs a hand through his hair and yanks the band out of it. “Yeah, I guess so.”

He goes to bed after that and Bazz watches his back until he can hear Renji’s breath evening out before he rolls onto his own and stares up at the ceiling. He can hear movement and life outside and supposes there must be night guards at each barrack just like the Soldat keep an eye on the palace even while his Majesty is sleeping.

He doesn’t want to think about Yhwach, but it’s hard not to. He’d been called into the throne room just today to be asked if he was intending to actually choose a shinigami partner or not. Saying he was open to it and then not following through will look bad, and does he want to rescind or give a reason as to why he’s changed his mind? Bazz just wants to scream that he shouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place.

Wanting Jugram to think he’s moved on when he hasn’t… Isn’t that supposed to be the goal? Maybe he should  _ actually _ move on and let it go. It’s been  _ centuries. _

In the forefront of his eye is the memory of wide green eyes and slender fingers wrapped around the stalk of an arrow and the resolution he never knew could be present there. Bazz thought he knew Jugram better than anyone else and yet it was so easy for a stranger to saunter into his life and offer him everything he ever wanted and needed. Who could offer him sanctuary, offer him healing, offer him the love he sorely needed.

Bazz could have done that. He doesn’t know why Jugram never let him offer.

His eyes drift to Renji’s back and he wonders if the lieutenant is going to be able to stand it once his captain is married or if he’s going to have an epic meltdown the way Bazz did when Yhwach made it clear that he and Jugram were tied in a way no one could understand.

He supposes that only time will really tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh bazz...


	11. Chapter 11

_ Master. _ The voice is deep and soothing and familiar, and Byakuya knows it almost as well as he knows his own.  _ I believe there is something wrong with Abarai Renji. _

“I believe you would be correct in such an assertion.” Byakuya stares at his reflection in the mirror but sees nothing, too attuned to his zanpakuto at the moment to care what he glass is showing him. “There is little I can do if he does not come to me first.”

_ Of course, Master. I just thought I should mention it. It is hard not to notice in such close proximity with Zabimaru. _ Senbonzakura is nothing if he is not gentlemanly and polite.

Only a fool of a captain would not notice if something was wrong with his lieutenant, an individual kept so close to a captain’s side they may as well learn one another. He has known so much of Renji from the first moment he ever took Renji as his lieutenant that he would be a monster to not notice that Renji has dark circles under his eyes, that his headaches have become more frequent, and that his paperwork has grown sloppy to the point of almost carelessness. Even without intel from other shinigami, Byakuya would have been able to guess he was spending more time drinking than usual.

The introduction of the Sternritter into Soul Society has not been an easy process for anyone to grow accustomed to, but Byakuya doubts that has anything to do with it. Renji might not like them and might not trust them, but it would  _ never _ do this to him.

So then, what does that leave? Perhaps the impending marriage is upsetting him…

_ Don’t be so conceited. _ Byakuya scoffs at himself, debates, and pushes aside the kenseikan for later when he must appear before others.  _ Renji has feelings for only Rukia. _

The thought has occurred to him once or twice, odd moments where it felt as though Renji’s focus on him felt… More than what it is. Renji did not fight to get to Byakuya’s side because he wants to be there, something Byakuya has to remind himself of in the smallest, quiest, weakest moments. Rare enough moments that he can usually set aside as a flight of fancy and nothing more, a challenge to school his thoughts carefully.

_ I do not think that is correct, but I will not argue with you about it. _ Senbonzakura sounds almost apologetic in his remorse; Byakuya leaves the mirror behind to go to him.

His hand comes to rest on Senbonzakura’s hilt, fingers tracing over the delicate designs. “I am not displeased with you. There is no reason to cower away from the conversation.”

“Who are you talking to?” The question startles Byakuya and he glances up to see As standing in the bedroom doorway, his cheek pressed against the wood of the frame though his eyes have fallen to Byakuya’s zanpakuto, resting on his silken bedding. “Oh, your zanpakuto. His Majesty said a shinigami could do that, but I have not seen it.”

Byakuya nods, curling his fingers around Senbonzakura’s hilt. “The two of us were having a conversation just now, that is all. We have a small and meaningless disagreement. How are you? I was surprised to wake up this morning and discover you were missing.”

“His Majesty wanted to speak to each of us this morning so that it would be gotten out of the way. He wants to know how things are going.” As steps into the room and closes the door behind him, though his eyes do not leave Senbonzakura once as he does.

Though there is precious little Byakuya knows about the Quincy, he knows their abilities to form reishi weapons differ but tend to center around arrows. He removes Sebonzakura from his sheath, the brilliant sheen of his blade and the sharpness of the edge a testament to how much Byakuya cares for his sword, how much he cares for their bond. His zanpakuto is an extension of his soul and so he must attend to him as he would himself lest he wants to fail as a shinigami and as a captain.

“This is Senbonzakura, my zanpakuto. The two of you have yet to meet formally.” He is adept with the blade and it shows as he carefully twirls the zanpakuto, offering As the hilt. “Would you like to hold him? He is not adverse to your presence here.”

_ If the Quincy is your husband to be, then I am happy with his presence, _ Senbonzakura confirms, and Byakuya smiles as he meets As’s eyes and waits for his decision.

“I saw him in combat briefly, as I said. He is a very beautiful sword.” As is careful as he takes the sword from Byakuya’s hand, drawing it closer to his body as he traces delicate fingers along the edge not meant to cut. “And just as lovely in this form as well.”

For most of his life, Byakuya has received compliments on his zanpakuto. He still remembers the first time Renji ever saw the release of his shikai when he first transferred to the Sixth. They were sparring, and Byakuya thought it best to teach him what was expected of him here. The expression on his face even as he nearly allowed himself to be shredded by the thousands of small blades said it all.

There is no one who can escape the beauty of his zanpakuto’s release, shikai or bankai.

_ Renji… _ Byakuya pushes the thought away. He will attend to his lieutenant and see if there is anything he can do for him after he spends some time with his fiance.

“We fight in a similar way, I believe,” As says as his fingers dance along the blade, careful to keep away from the sharp edge. Even a delicate brush of a touch would likely break his skin. “Your petals and my thorns. Do you remember how I fight, Byakuya?”

“Reishi thorns. I saw them. I remember them. How oddly fitting,” Byakuya murmurs.

“Flowers and thorns. Beauty and pain.” As shakes his head and then hands Senbonzakura back to him, and Byakuya wonders just what he meant by that. “I apologize for leaving without telling you, but I wanted to be gone and back as quickly as possible, and you were still resting. I hope the lack of my presence didn’t disturb your sleep.”

It did; Byakuya woke when the mattress next to him was still warm. “Of course not. And you are free to attend to your duties as necessary, of course.”

“Very well. However, I have returned.” As combs his fingers through his hair, and Byakuya’s eyes follow the movement, tracing the line of his face, his jaw—

“That’s a lovely mask.” It is one he hasn’t seen before, either, he realizes. All of the masks As has worn have been plain in color and appearance, but this one, though still white, has pale silver stitching on the sides. It’s a barely noticeable but eye-catching change.

“Thank you. I thought I should perhaps dress nicer if we’re going to eat together.” As doesn’t have to draw Byakuya’s attention downward; he’s wearing a yukata similar to the one Byakuya gave him on the first night, though the pale pink color of it gives some life to his ordinarily pale skin. “Considering the state of your dress, I believe I was correct.”

Byakuya chose dark blue for this breakfast, white cranes sewn into the fabric, seemingly in motion against the backdrop. “Forgive me. I own very few muted pieces of clothing.”

“It is of no matter to me.” As clears his throat, fingers pressed against the mask for just a moment before he meets Byakuya’s eyes directly. “You look handsome this morning.”

The compliment seems bolder than usual but Byakuya tries to take it in stride even though he can feel the slight warmth creeping up the back of his neck. “And you look lovely. Shall we go outside? The servants will have everything set up by now.”

His words have the desired effect, As’s gaze skittering away from his own as he mumbles an acquiescence. Byakuya tries not to smile too broadly as he sets Senbonzakura back down on his bedding and takes As gently by the elbow, leading him out of the bedroom and through the rest of the house. It might be his imagination, but he thinks the servants have been enjoying As’s presence in the house, the knowledge Byakuya is no longer alone.

Though he grew up in this house, he never really thought about if the servants cared about him or his well-being. But now it was impossible not to notice how much more they smiled, how they whispered when he was supposedly not looking, how polite they were to As. They looked after him with a care Byakuya quickly grew to understand all too well.

He wonders how much they must have worried about him since Hisana passed away.

A table has been set up outside in the small garden courtyard on top of a blanket, and there is already food waiting for them when they arrive. There is also the small screen set aside that they used for their first dinner. Byakuya did not have to remind them, then.

“The weather is so nice.” As tilts his head up toward the sunlight and Byakuya smiles and nods. “What are the winters in the Seireitei like? Are they particularly bad?”

“They can be, but there is no reason to be concerned. The house will always be kept warm enough to ensure your comfort.” Byakuya looks at him, at the deep violet highlights that show up in his hair under such direct sunlight. It’s startling and beautiful. “We’ll take care of you, no worries. Now sit down and eat. I’ll have no husband of mine underfed.”

Once As sits down and is comfortable, Byakuya sets the screen up between the two of them so he can have the privacy he needs to eat. “I hope you like the gardens. They’ve always been important to my family, and they are definitely important to me.”

“They’re very beautiful. I can tell you must have put a lot of effort into caring for them.” As removes the mask; Byakuya can see where he sets it on the edge of the table.

Even though As has not shown his face yet, Byakuya feels important just the same for knowing that As will take it off in his presence. That means more to him than anything else does at this moment. “Thank you. I’ve always tried to do my best to take care of them.”

“It shows.” As is quiet for a moment, then clears his throat. “My friend, Giselle, came to visit and went off with your sister. I hope there is nothing wrong with that?”

With Rukia? Byakuya smiles at the thought. “Not at all. Rukia could always use more friends, so I’m quite fine with it. I’m glad a friend of yours could get along with my sister. It bodes well for the future we will be sharing with one another.”

The food is perfect as usual but Byakuya finds himself uninterested in the food and more interested in the screen in front of him and in the man on the other side of it.  _ Is Renji perhaps upset that I’ve been spending so much time with a stranger? _

“I can hear the gears turning in your mind,” As says, and Byakuya blinks. “What is wrong?”

Should be lay the matter between the two of them?  _ He will be my husband. I should be able to trust him with such information.  _ “I believe something is wrong with my lieutenant, but I’m debating about how to approach the situation. I don’t want him to think I am prying, and I am lost as to what could be upsetting him so much in the first place.”

As is quiet for a moment, then sighs softly. “Have you thought of just asking him?”

“I have not, admittedly.” And now he feels like a fool for not starting there.

“The simplest solution is rarely not a solution to pursue in my experience. If you think something is wrong with him, you should ask directly.” There is the soft clinking of silverware on dishware and Byakuya realizes he has not touched his food for a few moments. “I would talk to him upfront and try to gauge what is wrong from there. If he wants space, he will tell you, I think. That would fit his personality well.”

“You know how to read people very well,” Byakuya muses, taking a bite of his rice.

As chuckles in answer. “What can I say? Reading people can be the key to survival.”

The remark is so small, but it sits heavy in Byakuya’s gut just the same. He knows exactly what As means. “Of course. Just the same, it is a valuable gift to have grown.”

When they finish eating and As has replaced his mask once more, Byakuya takes him on an official tour of the gardens. They span a respectable amount of space with several small places that someone could enjoy a quiet moment away from the rest of the world. As asks him about the flowers and Byakuya names each one for him, telling him about the process of growing each one from procuring the seeds to mapping out how to lay out and expand the garden over the years. It was smaller when he was still a child.

They end up sitting on the bench near the koi pond, the large and long fish enjoying their clear pool. Byakuya has As’s hand in his own, their fingers linked together. He admires the way As’s nail polish, now a fresh navy blue, glitters in the sunlight.

“Giselle did them,” As tells him, and Byakuya hums thoughtfully. He did say something about that before when his nails were black. “I prefer dark colors.”

“They suit you, dark colors.” The blue went well with the natural violet in his black hair.

“Thank you.” As looks up at him, and the angle of the sunlight above proves that the mask is made thick enough that Byakuya cannot see through it. Just as well, he supposes. As will tell him in time, he hopes. “Your sister doesn’t much look like you. She looks like—”

“Hisana.” Byakuya knows how alike they look. It was how he knew that Rukia was the one Hisana looked for in the Rukongai. The one she chased until her dying day. “Rukia is not my sister by blood. She is Hisana’s sister. I promised I would find her and bring her here, and so when I located her, I did just that. I took her in as my sister. She had no one.”

“I’m not going to judge your choice. I think it was the right one. Now neither of you are alone even though Hisana is gone,” As says, his voice soft and musing.

Byakuya never thought of it like that, but he supposes it is true. “Yes. None of the Quincy we have spoken to have mentioned anything about families. Do none of you have any?”

“We have no one,” As confirms, and that… Hurts. Byakuya has never been truly  _ alone _ , not with his clan here. Not with the Gotei Thirteen here. “We were taken in by his Majesty because we had no one, and from us, the Sternritter were chosen. We’re all we have.”

“That’s… I hadn’t realized it was such a severe situation for all of you.” Byakuya rubs his thumb over As’s knuckles and looks down into his eyes. “Well, you don’t have to be alone while you’re here. If you ever feel lonely, you can seek me out and we can talk.”

As’s eyes crinkle slightly at the corners; Byakuya is learning that this means he’s smiling even if Byakuya himself cannot see it. “You seem to care so much, Byakuya. Why is that?”

“Because I can’t imagine going through what you have, and I want to help if I can. Making even one person’s life a little easier appeals to me.” Byakuya watches As’s face, trying to understand the small minute shifts in his expression so he knows what As is thinking.

“Perhaps if I’d met someone like you earlier, I wouldn’t have ended up in such a place.” As sighs and looks away from him, but the fingers wound with his squeeze gently. “Though I don’t know if I would be happier not to be here. What a quandry to have.”

Though he should probably say something, Byakuya remains quiet and focuses on As’s hand instead. It’s soft in his own and he wonders if As can use a Quincy bow and what that might look like. Maybe he should ask one day. “I don’t mind this, for what it’s worth.”

“It’s worth quite a lot. Thank you.” As looks up at him and his eyes are narrowed in happiness, and it makes Byakuya’s stomach turn. It’s a funny feeling, but not wholly unpleasant. It’s just… Not necessarily something he’s used to feeling.

As shifts closer to him and his head comes to rest on Byakuya’s shoulder. He doesn’t untangle their hands, and neither does Byakuya. Instead, he waits until As settles in and then lays his head on top of As’s, the difference in their heights making it just comfortable enough. He might be imagining the way As sighs softly and leans into him, but he doesn’t think so. Not in this one instance, at the very least.

This is nice, he thinks. He’d grown used to the fact that with Hisana gone and his parents dead, he would need to settle down again. He resigned himself to such a fact and faced it with the same kind of grim determination he did every other part of his duties.

Marrying a Quincy was never part of those plans. Certainly not marrying As Nodt, one of the revered Sternritter of the Quincy Army. And yet… This works for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they deserved something nice before things start to get bad. how adverse are y'all to an occasional chapter about another sternritter/shinigami pair so you can get a feel for the rest of the 'verse around this story?
> 
> i'm not really asking as much as i am hinting that that's gonna happen, i hope y'all like toshiro and kensei.


	12. Chapter 12

The Heilig Bogen is the first weapon any of them are ever taught to hold in their hands.

As was not a Quincy when he found himself in the hospital, broke and beaten and on the verge of death. Not  _ truly, _ not in his own eyes. Though there were a few of those moments where he realized he was speaking to people who were no longer alive, he took solace in the idea that it could just… Be a tic. He never asked anyone about it. The church he attended every Sunday would have thought him a witch for being able to see the dead, or that he might be crazy. By the time he started living as a man, they were  _ already _ saying that.

So he never learned how his powers worked. When he moved to Silbern, it was expected. He was happy to learn there was an explanation for who and what he was, that people accepted him and encouraged him, that he was  _ enough. _ That he was  _ worthy. _ So the first time he held his Heilig Bogen in his hands under his Majesty’s proud smile, he was happy.

It was one of the few moments in As’s life that  _ is _ happy without being tainted.

He has confidence with this weapon even though his specialized skill as a Sternritter allows him to use his thorns instead, something he likes the versatility of. But today is a demonstration for the Sixth, and so he wields the bow with the confidence and strength he has always had when he touches it. This bow is an extension of his body, after all.

And while not all of his body may be perfect,  _ this _ ? This is perfection.

Every arrow lands exactly where he means it to, his eyes fixed on the board mounted at the far end of the training field. Nothing misses even under Byakuya’s close inspection, even when he can feel the captain moving about behind him, likely just to get different angles on his view. As remains focused until he lets the seventh arrow fly.

“That,” Byakuya says as As lowers his bow, “is how a typical Quincy fights. It is how the Soldat will fight. You need to learn this so that you can work alongside them.”

One of the shinigami raises their hand, and Byakuya gestures for them to speak. “Do the reishi arrows kill the Hollow no matter where they hit, or does it have to be the mask?”

When he feels Byakuya’s eyes on his back, As turns his head to address the shinigami himself. “It must be the mask, just as a shinigami’s blade must shatter it in order to free the human beneath. If we hit any other part of the Hollow, we have not killed them.”

Another shinigami raises their hand, and Byakuya sighs softly. “Yes?”

“Is it true that Hollows are poisonous to Quincy?” The woman looks concerned, and As winces at the question. Ah, yes. “We’ve heard rumors that they are, but I wasn’t sure.”

Again, Byakuya looks to him, Again, As answers. “Every part of a Hollow is poisonous to us. Injuring us means that we could die. It is why, for so many years, Quincy chose the permanent fate for them. They hunt us down because our reiatsu is higher than an average human’s, and that makes us suitable prey. If we do not fight, they would kill us.”

“And shinigami were not able to respond quickly enough to protect them, which is why matters had to be taken into their hands,” Byakuya adds, and As smiles softly at the words and nods. It does him good to know Byakuya understands, that he is not a monster to him.

So many of the shinigami see them as villains because they had to kill Hollows in order to survive. As never did; he was lucky. But he remembers listening to Cang Du tell him the story of how he spent his childhood running from both the Japanese military and the large monstrous creatures that terrorized him until survival instinct drew his bow for him.

How could someone ever fault a child from defending themselves like that?

“So it will be imperative that we work to keep everyone safe,” Byakuya continues, and As hums softly in agreement as he allows his bow to fizzle out slowly. “You will all work alongside various members of the Soldat as necessary to protect humans and any Quincy alike. The Soldat are able to identify Quincy who do not yet know what they are.”

Again, another shinigami raises his hand. “But I thought we exterminated the Quincy.”

“Not so,” Byakuya says. “If that were true, the Sternritter as an organization would not exist. Not all of the members joined before the war. And many members of the Soldat as well. They were able to find the Quincy before we were. Keep this in mind.”

As has found Quincy himself. He knows how much easier it is for them than it is for anyone else, and there is nothing that can be done about that. They just  _ know _ each other.

“Now,” Byakuya says, “you will likely see the abilities of the Sternritter in action. They are different than ordinary Quincy, and they don’t necessarily fight with bows. As, if you will?”

It takes little more than a thought to summon the reishi thorns he is so used to using in combat, the ability he developed after he was given his Schrift by his Majesty. They shimmer in the air around him before solidifying and he enjoys the moment where the rest of the shinigami realize what he has done and take notice. A few of them pale, recognizing just how wickedly sharp and versatile these are. He needs no bow. He cannot be disarmed.

That is the power of the Sternritter. Their power is  _ themselves. _

“My reishi torns carry the power of my Schrift within them. That is F, the Fear.” As watches each of their faces in turn. Some of them pale further. “When pricked, it causes the victim to be consumed by terror. It works very effectively in subduing most foes, especially simple Hollows. With larger Hollows, it takes slightly more time.”

Another shinigami lifts her head just a little. “Can you, ah, stop this power?”

“I can. It is connected to me, after all. So if anyone were to, for instance, get in the way by accident…” As smiles behind the mask. “I could stop the victim from suffering.”

Byakuya’s eyes are fixed on the thorns; As knows he saw them. He had that confirmation when they talked about it, after all. “For the most part, you will all be dispatched with the Soldat. Not the Sternritter. Should we be dispatched together, however,  _ pay attention. _ ”

“Do all of the Sternritter have a power like that?” Someone in the back asks.

As shakes his head. “Every Sternritter has a different power signified by our Schrift. None of them are like. We can all use the Heilig Bogen as any Quincy can, but how we choose to fight after that varies from person to person. Crossfire isn’t possible on all of them, but it’s important to remember it is for most of us. So please be safe.”

“It’s no different than when I tell all of you to be aware of your shikai release and how it can affect those around you,” Byakuya says, and his voice is stern and commanding. Everything about him stepping into the captain role is interesting intrinsically, nothing at all like the soft-spoken and kind man As has grown accustomed to. “Now, as for training.”

With his part in the day completed, As brushes past his fiance with the intention of finding something to do with the rest of his day. He’s startled when slender but strong fingers close around his wrist to stop him, glancing over his shoulder to see Byakuya still addressing his division— with his hand around As’s wrist. Several of the division look startled but quickly compose themselves, recognizing this is not for them to comment on.

In the back of his mind, As wonders what they must think about him  _ truly. _ If it bothers them that their straight-laced captain is engaged to another man.

No one in Soul Society has clocked him yet. He wonders if they ever will manage it.

When Byakuya finishes speaking and his division moves to start organizing themselves, he turns to As and sighs softly. “Sorry. I didn’t want you to rush off without saying goodbye.”

It’s… Absurdly sweet, As thinks. “I think half of your division were staring at us.”

“They should learn to be comfortable with it. They were told about the marriage just the same as everyone else was, after all.” Byakuya uses his hold on As’s wrist to draw him closer, and As willingly goes to him. “What are you going to do today? It’s nice out.”

The two of them have shared conversations like this since their breakfast in the garden four days ago. Byakuya seems intensely interested in making sure the two of them do have some kind of working relationship other than just sharing a bed at the end of the day. As prefers this. Byakuya is… Enchanting when he lets the cold facade slip just a little, and As is not exactly hard to dazzle when someone tries. He knows how weak he is for pretty men and remembers how  _ hard _ being a member of the Sternritter was initially.

He especially remembers tripping over his words to Haschwalth somewhat regularly for  _ months _ on end until he shook off the way his hands shook every time the Grandmaster stepped into a room with the rest of them to address them separately.

Byakuya is… More beautiful than any of those men, though, As thinks. Because he has struggled and fought and clawed in a way that As knows all too well, and he’s attained a sort of status and position and  _ respect _ through that fighting. Even with his grandfather as captain and father as lieutenant, he had to  _ earn _ becoming a captain of the shinigami.

Just as As earned his position as a member of the Sternritter. He understands this.

“I’m not certain. It is a nice day. I may sit outside and read.” He doesn’t need to specify  _ where _ he is going to sit. They both know he spends a lot of time in the gardens, soaking in the sweetness of the flowers and the beauty of the koi and the warmth of the sun.

“Do as you wish.” Byakuya’s smile for him is different than for anyone else. As thinks he really is trying to make this special, to make this  _ matter _ even though it is not true.

“Of course,  _ anata. _ ” The title always takes Byakuya a little by surprise, but As makes sure to use it in public as much as he can. People need to believe they are in love, after all.

An arranged marriage will comfort the nobles of course, and the Soldat would never question anything the Sternritter chose to do in their personal lives. But the common people of the Seiretei see things different. As has heard rumors. He also knows many of those rumors have been easily staunched by how affectionate he is with Byakuya in person.

Most people are old romantics enough to believe he has quickly fallen for Byakuya.

“Have a good day, then,  _ meine Liebe. _ ” The words are precise and softly accented but in an intelligent way; Byakuya is trying. As has never met someone who tries so hard before.

He turns his hand to hold Byakuya’s arm in return for just a moment and leans in until his forehead touches Byakuya’s shoulder, a barely-there embrace before they break apart from each other and go their separate ways. This is normal for the two of them and he can, out of the corner of his eye, see the way the shinigami turn to watch him leave.

It is on his way out of the Division grounds that he passes Abarai Renji and finds himself stopping, turning his head to look at the lieutenant properly. His voice passes his lips before he can quite stop himself. “Have you been sleeping recently, Abarai-san?”

The question startles Renji, who turns to look at him fully. He’s… Everything As used to envy in men. Tall, broad-shouldered, strong-jawed. Without trying at all, he is masculine in every sense of the word. Now that As has moved past that, he is rather appreciative.

Abarai Renji is a handsome man. Byakuya is lucky to work so closely with him.

“Sorry,” Renji says, “I don’t think I quite caught that one. Would you mind repeating it?”

“Have you been sleeping recently?” As looks him over. The dark circles under his eyes, the way his entire body seems too loose, too shaky. He’s exhausted, it’s quite clear.

Renji presses his lips together; the question is not a pleasant one to him. “I’m okay.”

“You haven’t been,” As concludes, but he keeps his voice soft and unaccusing because he knows how hard all of this must be. How hard life used to be for him, and how hard sleep was because of it. “You should rest. Take a break from work if you need to do so.”

“I couldn’t leave Taichou high and dry with the division like that. He’s already got a lot to do without me taking off on him just to sleep off a hangover,” Renji says softly.

A hangover… So he’s been drinking recently as well. The thought is discouraging. “Byakuya cares very much about you,” As says, and Renji makes a small noise in the back of his throat as his eyes widen slightly. “He’s very worried about you. He might not be able to voice that easily, but you know that anything emotional is very rarely easy for him.”

_ He keeps up the same kind of walls that I do for different reasons, after all. _

“Yeah.” Renji looks away from him and As imagines this must be very awkward for him right now. He still remembers when Cang Du caught him on his way back to his room one night and had a very similar conversation with him not long after he joined the Sternritter. “I guess maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to take a break. Taichou really is worried?”

“Of course. You’re very important to him.” As can tell. He knows when people are important to each other. It’s their in their eyes when you bring other names up. He knows his face changes when he talks about Giselle, has seen her face soften for him. The way Liltotto can’t help but grin a little harder when she talks about Gremmy, the way he laughs when he talks about her. He watches the way Haschwalth’s eyes fill with light when he talks about his Majesty, or the way the corners of his mouth turn down when he talks about Bazz.

Such love and care can never be hidden no matter how much someone wants to try.

To his relief, Renji softens around all of his hard edges and sighs softly. The little tension that has built in his shoulders eases visibly. “Okay. Thank you. I guess I’ll tell him I need the day off and see what he says. I’m sorry if I, uh… Worried either of you with this.”

As nods and he wonders why Renji would be drinking and not sleeping and is inspired a moment later, just as Renji is starting to turn away. “Would you like to spend the day with me? I was going to sit outside in the gardens while the weather is still nice.”

“Uh?” Renji looks at him like he’s trying to puzzle something out. It’s usually a look that scares As, that puts him on guard. Not with Renji, though, because he couldn’t  _ be _ close to Byakuya and be that kind of person. Byakuya is too smart. He would know. “Excuse me?”

“Fresh air is a better cure for a hangover than most things. And it’s a peaceful place. Byakuya won’t mind if I’m the one who’s inviting you.” As wonders how odd this must be for Renji. If he’s ever had someone just… Say something like this. Or when the last time was, because surely he has friends here. They might be just as busy as he usually is.

Maybe that’s what he does with the nights he spends drinking, which is not ideal.

Renji studies him differently this time, like he’s trying to figure out what to make of this offer, what to make of As. It isn’t a frightening expression, at least. “Any particular reason why you want to? Or just trying to be friendly or something?”

“Is being friendly not a good reason?” As tries to find his footing in what this conversation has become, now uncertain. “You’re really important to Byakuya. I feel like I should get to know all of you if I’m going to be a part of his life for any amount of time.”

When Renji’s face softens, As feels it must be a victory. “Yeah, okay, that’s… Yeah. That’s not a bad reason. You sure? I’m not exactly, uh, intelligent company.”

As winces. “Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that, but don’t speak badly about yourself. Just tell Byakuya you’ll be spending the day with me. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“All right.” Renji straightens up a little, but he still looks tired. As will have tea brought to them. The caffeine content isn’t high enough to make him manic, but it might be enough to soothe that a little. “Thank you, for what it’s worth. For reaching out like this.”

“Someone did it for me, once. I remember how important that was.” As shrugs it off.

Renji smiles at him, and it feels nice, and warm. “Taichou’s lucky to have a fiance like you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh??? we break pov again next chapter to say hi to someone else


	13. Chapter 13

Hitsugaya Toshiro wonders why they ever let him become a captain once in a while.

It comes bitterly and in sudden waves, a choking anger that grips him around the throat and leaves him unable to think about anything else for several days until it passes. His division respects him and Rangiku might point out that he is a child, but she never does it meanly or in an attempt to undermine him or make him feel bad. She points it out like a fact but still respects him as her captain, follows orders when it matters the most and matters a lot and only ignores him the same way she ignores most people who try to boss her around when she would rather nap or go shopping in the world of the living.

The rest of the Gotei respects him, too. None of the other captains ever give him the impression that he should not be among their ranks. Shunsui and Jushiro are older than him by many years and have been captains for longer than he’s been alive, but they still address him as  _ taichou _ and never try to take that away from him. The Visoreds, who have more life experience than Toshiro can imagine, try their best to get along with him.

But there are little things that never fail to get to him, like sending one of the  _ two _ Sternritter who are also children to work alongside him.  _ It’ll be a good fit, _ Sasakibe said.

Toshiro swallows back the bile of the insult and tries not to let it touch his heart.

Gremmy Thoumeaux is sitting in his office when he arrives, spinning a colorful and brightly-flashing top on one finger with a disaffected expression that could mean anything. “Good morning, Hitsugaya-taichou. How did you sleep last night?”

“I slept fine. What about you?” Toshiro has no idea where he’s been sleeping or if he just makes the commute between Silbern and the Seireitei every day. He never asks.

“So-so. Nightmares, you know the like.” Gremmy makes the top vanish and Toshiro has grown used to this over the weeks. He knows how the Visionary works to a small extent, and he knows it’s fueled by Gremmy’s imagination and his own power. “Where’s Matsumoto-fukutaichou this morning? I didn’t see her on my way in.”

_ How did you even get in? _ Toshiro could ask this, but he knows how much of a waste of time it would be. Gremmy probably imagined he had the key, and he did. Or the door was unlocked, so he could just walk in. “She sleeps late some mornings. Can’t be avoided.”

“How nice for her.” Gremmy slouches deeper in his chair and sighs. He looks tired, Toshiro thinks, but he always looks a little sleepy. Eyes half-closed like nothing really interests him the way it should. Maybe nothing does, with his powers. “What are we doing today?”

Most of the other captains have been taking a relaxed approach to figuring out combat strategy, but Toshiro is not among their ranks. “I have paperwork, and then training.”

“Right, right.” Gremmy gives his hood a tug. “Then I’m going to catch a nap while you work.”

Toshiro ignores him. For the most part, Gremmy seems… Like nothing. He doesn’t really  _ leave _ an impression other than that his powers are impressive, and his control over them is enough to make Toshiro think he was likely dubbed a prodigy at his age, too. They have that in common, and he tries to tell himself it makes sense for them to be partners based on that. And he should just really be glad he can avoid the arranged marriage thing.

“Where’s McAllon this morning?” he asks abruptly, realizing Rangiku’s new partner-in-crime wasn’t anywhere to be found when he walked in, and she usually is these days.

“Grandmaster needed to talk to her aside when I left, so she’s just later than usual.” Gremmy shrugs a shoulder. “What can you do? He’s our boss, after all.”

“Right. Understood.” And now, Toshiro can get started on his work for the day.

Rangiku stumbles into the room right around the time Meninas McAllon shows up; the two completely ignore Toshiro and instead squeal and hug each other good morning like they always do. Really, it was a good fit for her to be assigned to the Tenth as Rangiku’s partner. She has a similar bubbly, optimistic personality, and she gives Rangiku a reason to  _ do _ something during the day. The two of them have been working very hard together.

“Hi, Gremmy-chan!” Rangiku hugs Gremmy without a single thought, smashing his head against her considerable chest. From the way he jerks, it wakes him up and startles him all at once. “You always get here so early. You’re just like Taichou.”

It isn’t a bard, Toshiro thinks, but it almost could be one. “Matsumoto! Let him breathe.”

“Right, right.” Rangiku lets him go and Gremmy adjusts his hood, scooting it back off of his face a little more. “Meninas and I are just going to get started if you don’t mind.”

“What exactly have the two of you been working on?” Toshiro asks, sterner than is needed.

Rangiku sighs and sits on the arm of Gremmy’s chair without asking; he leans away to give her enough room, though, which is nicer than Toshiro would have been under the same circumstances. “Mostly just hand-to-hand combat, since that’s what the Power is.”

“We’re also working on how we can combine the ash attacks that Haineko has with my Heilig Pfiel, but it’s a process because they aren’t  _ quite _ the same,” Meninas says. She tucks her bright pink hair back behind her shoulder with a gloved hand. “But it’s working. Haineko’s ask is dense enough to hide my arrows, so we’re going for a concealed kind of idea. And I’m teaching Rangiku how to fight in case she’s ever disarmed in combat!”

It’s… Much more than Toshiro would have expected to hear. “That’s quite a lot of progress. Keep at it, then, and you can show me how it’s working out by the end of the week.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Rangiku claps her hands together. “But if you don’t mind, we were going to take the end of the day off. I want to take Meni to go shopping with me.”

Well, at least she’s  _ asking. _ “I don’t see why not. If your performance at the end of the week isn’t satisfactory, we’ll have issues. But if you have been working hard, it’s fine.”

Rangiku looks appropriately shocked, then quickly smoothes it over and nods, bouncing up to her feet. “Thank you, Taichou! I hope you have fun today working with Gremmy-chan.”

She leaves the room in the same whirlwind she arrived in, Meninas in tow, and Toshiro sighs and goes back to work. Gremmy slumps back into place in his chair, chin resting on his chest like he does when he naps. If Toshiro has work to do before they can do anything, he usually tries to steal a nap. Maybe he doesn’t sleep well in Silbern at all, but Toshiro doesn’t know and couldn’t say and tries not to ask anything he doesn’t need to know. This is a working relationship forced by the Gotei, not something he would choose for himself.

All of this feels fake, feels artificial. There is nothing about it he can trust.

“I’m finished.” He sets the last report aside and stands, and Gremmy lifts his head slowly, blinking the fatigue from his eyes before he stands. “Are you ready this morning?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t show up if it was just to waste your time.” Gremmy slips his hands into the pockets of his jacket and smiles, but he looks like he’d keel over in a second.

Toshiro leads him out to the training grounds that belong to the Tenth. He runs a tight ship; many of the shinigami who wake this early are already training, and all of them will be up by the end of the hour. Gremmy made a comment about it on the first day they worked together but never said anything about it since then and now he doesn’t, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it off a tree branch like that’s in any way  _ normal _ to do.

He’s taller than Toshiro but skinnier and looks like he hasn’t seen a lot of sunlight or slept much or even  _ eaten. _ He looks like he doesn’t take care of himself, and it grates at Toshiro that  _ this _ is who they wanted him to work with on a regular basis for the rest of his life.

“Do I get to see your dragon today?” Gremmy brings his hands together but holds them a good distance apart, and Toshiro watches the ice dragon materialize out of nowhere, curling its long tail around his arm like a friend, resting itself on him. “I’ve always liked it.”

His powers are something Toshiro will never get used to. “Just my shikai today, I think.”

“So be it.” The dragon is gone, and Gremmy gives his hands a little shake. “Brr. It’s always so cold. I need to start thinking of it like glass maybe if I let it touch me like that.”

“Maybe you should.” Toshiro removes Hyorinmaru from his sheath and frowns when the zanpakuto decides to reach out to him.  _ You are being too callous with him, Master. _

Gremmy stretches his arms, tucks his hands behind his head. “Do you want some water?”

“That’s fine.” Toshiro runs a hand along Hyorinmaru’s blade. He knows he has to work on his attitude, and he’s trying so hard to do that. “Sit Upon the Frozen Heavens, Hyorinmaru.”

The pro to having someone like Gremmy to train with is that controlling the weather isn’t necessary, so Toshiro never has to worry about it. Accessing the water makes the location unstable, and using it in bankai is still impossible. But when Gremmy stretches his hands out from behind his head, the sky opens up and  _ pours _ . It’s a miracle it doesn’t soak both of them in the process, but Toshiro is still learning how to understand his powers.

Some of the division still shout in shock, throwing their arms off to ward off the rain that never quite hits them. Toshiro is a little impressed, if he is being honest with himself. More so when he can see the rain is only falling here on their training ground.

One powerful swing of Hyorinmaru freezes every drop into a perfect ice crystal in mid-air.

“Oh.” Gremmy picks one of them out of the air; Toshiro can see it melt on his hand. “That’s pretty. You haven’t tried that before. What are you going to do with all of it?”

“Pay attention,” Toshiro tells him, and the ice hurdles at him instantly.

One thing he has learned is that Gremmy has speed. Flames lick up from the ground in seconds, shooting straight up into the sky over Gremmy’s head. For just a breath of a second, Toshiro can see his hair blown back from the force of it and then he’s gone, the fire dense enough that Toshiro cannot see through it. The ice melts, sizzling against the flames, evaporating as they hit. He’s impressed at the ingenuity of it.

When the flames die out, Gremmy is smiling at him. “That was  _ good. _ Let’s do that again.”

Training with him always feels like they’re trying to invent new ways to kill each other rather than training properly. Gremmy gives up on the wall of flames when he realizes Toshiro is going to keep attacking him and goes for something more creative, twisting the flames around his body like a living armor. He darts in closer and closer until Toshiro has to dart back and away from him, the flames singing the end of his haori. But he asked for this and he goes with it, the two of them ducking and weaving around each other.

He knows when Gremmy is about to lose his patience and fight fair, and yet he is always surprised the first moment an arrow sizzles over his shoulder, embedding itself into the far wall. Though Gremmy has been close to him this whole time, he hadn’t noticed when he drew his bow, the bright blue gather of the reishi a contrast to the red flames.

It’s in this moment that Gremmy’s concentration slips and he burns his hand.

“Oops!” The flames extinguish and he gives his hand a shake, wincing at the raw pink mark on his skin. “I really need to learn to pay more attention to that, don’t I?”

Toshiro watches him for a moment to make sure it isn’t a trap before stepping closer to him, setting his hand on top of Gremmy’s own. His skin is much colder from wielding Hyorinmaru, something he can tolerate and thrive in though most others would probably have lost the ability to feel their fingers by now. “You could have injured yourself.”

“No worries, Taichou,” Gremmy says lightly. “It just takes practice. It’s why we aren’t rushing into combat right away and learning how the other ticks, right?”

“Correct. Still, be careful. Some of your creations could do serious harm to your person. You’re lucky it was just the one hand.” Toshiro can feel the heat of the burn even through the chill of his reiatsu, which is worrying. It might be a serious burn.

Gremmy smiles at him. This close, it’s hard not to notice certain things about him. His skin is sallow and generally unhealthy looking, and the circles under his eyes look like purplish bruises. Like someone has recently struck him. But the smile is genuine, and it reaches his blood red eyes which glitter mysteriously before he smiles so hard they just close. He runs his uninjured hand through his hair, damp from Toshiro’s rain and ice, pushing the tousled blond curls back off of his forehead. They flop into place once more, overly long.

Rangiku whispered to Toshiro after their initial meeting that Gremmy was  _ cute, _ like an angel is cute. Like a cherub. Even though he’s not caring for himself as well as he should, he does have the round face, the hair— Toshiro hates himself for even thinking about it.

“The lucky thing is that I can do this.” Gremmy takes his hand back and shows Toshiro the raw burn, which immediately heals itself. “I can imagine myself healed. And now it’s fine.”

“Stop worrying me then. Let’s get back to work.” Toshiro brandishes his sword and Gremmy draws his bow, and the two of them spend the better part of an hour sparring like this.

His own division members are always eager to help with the training. They fight the two of them, ganging up on them as many as they think they can manage while Toshiro and Gremmy do their best to evade them and fight them. Gremmy seems able to make water come from everywhere and Toshiro weaponizes it, and Gremmy can take care of himself just fine, though Toshiro still freezes the feet of enemies too close to him. Together, they work well. They are suited for each other, which is more annoying than Toshiro wants to admit.

He isn’t a  _ child _ like everyone treats him. He doesn’t  _ need _ to work with a child.

By the end of their session, though, Toshiro finishes how Gremmy wants him to; with Hyorinmaru’s dragon form. Pure ice and powerful and dominant, Hyorinmaru sweeps aside his division members without hurting them, leaving the two of them victorious. Coming to curl around Toshiro for just a moment as he does because Hyorinmaru has always been close to him, has always cared for him and wanted to be at his side.

Gremmy looks up at the manifestation of his zanpakuto and beams. “Hello, Hyorinmaru.”

The dragon glances at him and then lowers his powerful head so Gremmy can touch him on the nose for a brief moment before he dematerializes back into Toshiro’s sword. And he scowls just a little at Hyorinmaru as he draws him back into his pre-release state and sheathes him for the day, tired and not in the mood to push himself so far.

“He’s so beautiful,” Gremmy says, and his voice is… Full of wonder, Toshiro realizes when he looks at him. He’s wide-eyed and grinning and he’s still holding his hand up where Hyorinmaru touched it. “He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

It’s not uncommon for people to praise Hyorinmaru, and to praise Toshiro, but something about the way Gremmy is looking at him makes him uncomfortable. Makes it feel weird, and different, and his stomach gives a little twist as he clears his throat. He rubs the back of his neck but Gremmy is beaming nonetheless when he lowers his hand, clasping both of his in front of him. He looks better than he did, more color in his face. More  _ alive _ this time.

This is the part of their time together that Toshiro hates the most. The creeping in the back of his mind that makes him wonder  _ why _ Gremmy’s comments always make him feel this way. Why the way Gremmy looks at him mattes to him at all.

“Thank you, everyone!” Gremmy turns to wave to the other shinigami, all picking themselves up off of the ground, then spreads his hands wide. “Here, this is for you all after the rain.”

The rainbow that blooms across the sky is too vibrant and deep to be real but the division members all look up at it just the same, and several of them smile. Toshiro looks, too, at how much it stands out against the blue sky and the white clouds.

“It’s not as pretty as Hyorinmaru,” Gremmy admits to him, “but I think it looks nice, ne?”

Toshiro turns away from him. He can’t look at him. “It looks just as beautiful, Gremmy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me realizing there is a sternritter roughly toshiro's age that he can hold hands with and have a crush on: ohhhhhhh


	14. Chapter 14

In the time Renji has been Byakuya’s lieutenant, he has never been to the Kuchiki manor.

Byakuya keeps the partnership they have strictly colleague-based only, and Renji is fine with this level of professionalism because he has come to expect it. Nothing else would make sense of the captain he knows; he sees the flash of surprise in Byakuya’s eyes when he explains the issue just before it shifts into something gentle. Byakuya touches him briefly on the shoulder, tells him to have a good day, and that he can likely handle the influx of paperwork without any major issues coming up. Renji can rest.

It sits in the back of his mind that As Nodt was right. Byakuya  _ does _ care about him.

The walk back to the house is a quiet one. As walks with his hands folded neatly in front of him and his eyes not quite focused in front of him, studying the nature around him as he walks forward. He says nothing and offers no conversation, and Renji never feels the need to say something to break the silence between them. It’s a comfortable one.

When they reach the house, As sends one of the servants to fetch something and turns to look at Renji. His eyes are so huge and dark and they make Renji think of a well he remembers back in the Rukongai, one that seemed almost bottomless to him as a child. He used to fear falling into it and not being able to climb back up, scrabbling at the cold stone. It isn’t quite fair to think that, though. Nothing about As seems threatening.

_ He carried Taichou back to the Seireitei on his back and makes him smile. I have no damn reason to feel this way and I know that better than anyone else. _

“I’ll take you out to the garden now.” As’s eyes drift away from his and he starts walking through the house, and Renji follows him, looking around as he goes.

The house is just as big as he thought it would be and it feels just as valuable, though it feels cold and stifling just as much. It makes him think of his initial impression of Byakuya, how he carried himself so well and was so perfect and poised but he seemed too cold, too detached from the rest of the world. Like even if he was talking about something that was important to him, the words never seemed to reach his heart the way they should have. While the house certainly seems to be well-kept, full of paintings and artwork that Renji has no real appreciation for without understanding them, it’s a house.

This doesn’t feel like a  _ home _ to him in any sense of the word.

“Through here.” As leads him to a set of glass doors set into the wall and pushes them open, and Renji is immediately suffused in the scent of flowers. “It’s very pretty.”

“I’m sure it is,” Renji admits. Though Byakuya never talked about his gardens, he does strike Renji— with his shikai, of course— as someone who likes flowers.

The garden is just as expansive as Renji thought it would be, all things considered. There is a small stone pathway that winds between the lush bushes and trees and flowers are everywhere, different colors and sizes and shapes. He only recognizes a small handful of them. It wasn’t like flowers grew in the Rukongai, after all.

“Sorry to be worrying you and the captain,” he says abruptly. Now, the silence just feels awkward and wrong for both of them. “That was never my intention.”

As looks back at him and stops walking. “What was your intention, then?”

“To forget about some things. You know. Unhealthy coping mechanisms and all that.” It sounds awful, and it is. Renji is an adult, and he should know better than to do this.

“Drinking might end up getting you killed one day, you know. Alcohol poisoning. But I know something about unhealthy coping mechanisms, so I won’t say anything to Byakuya about it.” As turns and walks away, and Renji has to catch up with him when he realizes he’s stuck in the same place for a few seconds, not sure how to take the words.

They stop at a place in the garden where a stone bench sits facing a koi pond. There, As sits and looks up at him, patting the place next to him. “Come and sit. You look tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping like I probably should be with all the drinking I’m doing,” Renji admits, sitting down beside him. The pond is all cool, clear water and the koi beneath it are brightly colored, stark blacks and whites and brighter oranges and reds and yellows. Of course, nothing less than perfection for his captain. “Is it really bothering him?”

“He asked me about what he should do because he’s so worried about you,” As says.

Renji shakes his head. “I never wanted him to worry about me, not like that. Like, yeah, worry if I’m gonna  _ die _ or something, but not because I’m being an idiot.”

“You can’t choose the reactions of the people who care about you.” As adjusts the mask on his face, and Renji’s eyes are drawn to it. He’s noticed them, though he’s never asked why As would need to wear one. He assumes whatever’s beneath it warrants it, though. “If you don’t want him to worry, perhaps you should stop treating your body as you do.”

“Hard not to with what’s been going on,” Renji says, glancing down at the koi fish.

Could he tell As about that? He doubts it. How would he tell As he’s been drinking because As just lucked out in getting a chance to be with Byakuya forever? It looks and sounds childish and he hates himself for letting it eat at him as much as it does. He should be better than this, not letting a little bit of a broken heart take him out so easily.

The servant As spoke to on the way in the door drops a tray of tea off with them, and As pours Renji a cup and hands it to him, though he doesn’t touch one for himself. “Byakuya is a hard man to work with, ne? His exterior is equal parts ice and stone.”

“Something like that,” Renji admits, though talking poorly about Byakuya these days never sits right with him. It isn’t an insult if he’s true, he thinks, and takes a sip of the tea. “This is delicious. Uh, not to pry, but are you not having any because of the mask?”

As looks up at him and nods once. “Yes. For what it’s worth, it does take some time to open him up, and I think he permanently closes himself off to several people on purpose.”

_ You’re been engaged to him a few weeks and you think you know him. _ But Renji doesn’t say that. Instead, he takes another sip of tea. “If you want to take your mask off, I won’t look or anything. If your face is like… Disfigured or something and you don’t want me to see.”

“Very perceptive. Thank you.” When As reaches for the mask, Renji fixes his gaze on the pond fully. He won’t look at As no matter what he says. “You seemed shocked when I said he cared about you at all. Were you under the impression he had no heart?”

Oh. Maybe that’s why As is like this, trying to talk him down from whatever he might have assumed. “Taichou… I mean, I know he cares. I get that. You can’t really be a good leader and not give a shit no matter what Hirako blabs on about sometimes, but I didn’t even think he’d noticed. If it messed up my paperwork or fighting, though… That’s different.”

“You think Byakuya would only notice something was wrong if you broadcast it,” As says.

His voice is less muffled without the mask, and Renji is loathe to admit how pretty it sounds, how soft and warm. It’s a gentle voice. “Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I don’t need him nosing into my personal life, so it’s not like I’d mind it if that was true.”

“Are you bothered that he cares?” As asks, and Renji winces. What a loaded question.

“I don’t want him to worry like that,” he clarifies. “And yeah, I guess I didn’t expect him too. Because the Taichou I know really isn’t that kind of person, but you know him differently than I do, I guess. Engagement and all that.”

He needs to shut up. Mentioning the impending marriage will make his issues clear.

As hums, and the sound is thoughtful. Renji hears the clink of a cup being moved around. “I suppose that’s true. He is trying to make sure the two of us are friends because he has no desire to be married to a stranger, and I can’t say I blame him. This is a very difficult situation for him because of his place in Soul Society.”

Renji knows that. He hates how stupid he’s been about the whole thing as if Byakuya has not been cornered and forced into this in a way none of the other captains who volunteered are. None of them  _ needed _ to do what they did even if it was implied things would be easier if they chose to follow that path; Byakuya is both a noble and a captain and choosing to volunteer himself as he did only created a shortcut between him and the inevitable. No one is better suited to host an arranged marriage than he is.

Byakuya has no choice, and Renji treating the situation like someone was picked over him is stupid.  _ He _ is stupid. He isn’t like Bazz. None of them really had a choice.

“He’s a very kind and warm person,” As continues, “and he is trying very hard. I think it’s only natural for someone like him to notice when you happen to be in distress.”

“Yeah.” Renji pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales. “I’m sorry, again. I’m just now realizing how dumb it is for me to act this way. It’s not even that big of a deal.”

“Some things that shouldn’t be simply are.” A slender hand pats Renji on the shoulder gently, and he lets himself lean into the touch without thinking about it.

When he finishes the cup of tea, he sets it on the bench next to him and takes a slow, deep breath, studying the way the fish swim, the way they weave around each other. “You’re a member of the Sternritter. What happened with Bazz and Haschwalth?”

“Oh dear.” As pauses. “That’s a very delicate question to ask. How did you know?”

“I’ve been drinking with him off and on since we met,” Renji says, and he winces. Maybe he shouldn’t be asking, but… If Bazz is putting it out there, then he just needs advice.

Next to him, As is quiet. Renji notices movement out of the corner of his eye and watches As pick the mask up off of his lap. He waits a minute or two before turning to look at him; the mask is back in place, and his expression is grave and sad. What did Renji say?

“I feel for Bazz,” As says slowly, “and I respect him. He was kind to me when his Majesty found me and brought me back to the palace. He was helpful when I was first made a Sternritter. But this is one area in which he has overstepped so far.”

“Shit,” Renji says, then winces at how easily the profanity slipped out.

As shakes his head, and Renji thinks he  _ might _ be smiling behind the mask. Hard to tell. “No, it isn’t… It’s a bad situation for everyone involved. The two of them became friends when they were children, but Haschwalth’s soul is tied to his Majesty’s. It always has been. And they knew that when they united. Or reunited, depending on how you look at it.”

“So you think they were always meant to be together?” Renji asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, when I met them, I picked up on it very quickly. The two of them are always together. Haschwalth naturally formed his powers in service to his Majesty.” As shrugs a shoulder, holding a hand up, palm open. “But who is to say? I know that his Majesty was one of the first people to ever treat him with kindness and respect like he’d always wanted, and he kept him safe and made sure he was taken care of. He’d never had that before.”

Renji furrows his brows, a sinking feeling slowly entering his gut. “Was Haschwalth a kid?”

“His Majesty never touched him,” As says, which means he picked up on exactly what Renji’s concern was. “We aren’t monsters, Abarai-san. He never went near him. He brought him to the palace, gave him somewhere to sleep and food to eat and let him train his powers as was necessary. Haschwalth is the one who sought him out as an adult.”

“And you’re sure about that?” Renji asks because  _ he _ needs to be sure of it, too.

“Of course.” As raises an eyebrow at him. “Most of us have been beaten down, broken, bloodied, bruised, left to die on the streets even. We protect one another because it is right. The Sternritter who already stood at his Majesty’s side would never have abided such a thing, and Bazz joined not long after. Do you think he would have let that go on?”

That is much more reassuring. Renji can absolutely believe that Bazz would have broken Yhwach’s neck one way or another if he’d found out Haschwalth hadn’t been safe as a child. “Okay. I just… The way you were talking, I was starting to get nervous.”

“You’re part of a military service that preys on children and the poor, so I can’t say I’m surprised you assumed such a thing,” As says almost demurely.

The sharpness of the barb is not lost on Renji; he knows what the Gotei does. He’d been a part of it, after all. Either he and Rukia could join and survive, or they could die out in the Rukongai like their friends did. “You aren’t wrong. So, then, what Bazz did—”

“I have great respect for Bazz as I said,” As interrupts, “and I was fine with working alongside him to save you and Byakuya. But Haschwalth and his Majesty love one another, and he cannot abide that, and it causes dissension unncessarily. Even if he does not like the results, he must learn to live with them. This is simply how things are.”

“You’re right. I just wanted some clarification. Thank you.” Renji looks back up at the sky overhead, startling blue and clear, and thinks that maybe he should take that word of advice. Things are going to be this way. He needs to learn to live with them.

As’s hand is light when it pats him on the knee. “I’m glad Bazz has a companion in you. If Byakuya trusts then, then you are a trustworthy person. It is as simple as that.”

“Thank you.” Renji is a shithead in all honesty. That’s all this afternoon has proven to him. And Byakuya… Likely has a worthy partner in the man sitting next to him whether he likes it or not. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be drinking and staying up all night. We have an important job to do and it’s not like I can just take sick days off all the time.”

“If one of us is affected by something, usually we try to fold in and help if we can,” As says. “The Sternritter work as a single unit, so we all need to be at our best.”

“That’s normal. That’s how things should be, so that’s a smart set-up.” The sun is still high in the sky, and he has no earthly idea where Bazz would be. If he’s staying in Soul Society or if he goes back to his ice castle until he wants to come back. “I’m going to take a walk around, try to get my bearings, and get some sleep. Thanks for this, I mean it.”

As stands slowly. “I’ll take you to the door. And it is of no bother to me.”

Renji heads into the city properly, trying to keep his eyes peeled for a familiar magenta mohawk since it isn’t likely Bazz would be drinking this early. It takes him entirely too long to find Bazz as far as he’s concerned, but he does eventually, standing under a tree and talking with another Sternritter who has his hood up despite the heat. How the hell can they survive in the heat like this when they wear these clothes in the  _ winter? _

“Hey, man.” Bazz waves a hand lazily at him. “You look like you’re looking for someone.”

“Looking for you. You busy?” Renji glances at the other Sternritter curiously.

The man throws his hands up. “No, I was just going back to the Ninth. Have fun, Bazz.”

“The Ninth,” Renji mumbles to himself, watching the man turn and walk away. “Oh, I guess he’s with Hisagi-senpai. That’s weird. I didn’t think they had someone with them.”

“It’s a tentative arrangement. Cang Du’s just seeing if he can fit in with them.” Bazz pokes him in the collarbone, and Renji jumps. “What is it you wanted to see me about?”

Renji knows how to make bad decisions. He remembers how long it took him to get over Rukia and specifically  _ what _ it took him to get over Rukia. And maybe it’s bad, but if Bazz is in the same place as he is, then maybe they can forget about this together.

He already took the day off of work. He might as well do something with it.

“I figured,” he says, “that we could have a little fun _ without _ the alcohol this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think we all know there this is going


	15. Chapter 15

Normalcy for the Seireitei is not normalcy for the rest of Soul Society. Just the same, it returns slowly but surely and allows all of them a breath of fresh air.

For Byakuya, that normalcy is waking up to find As’s slender back pressed against his chest, his arm wrapped securely around As’s waist and his nose tucked into the glory of that long dark hair. It is sleeping through the night when his nights used to be restless, to having someone who is waiting for him when he comes home at the end of a long day. There is still a polite distance between the two of them, but what is there feels warmer and softer than it was before, and he is content with that for now. Progress is slow sometimes.

Renji has been acting… Better, though Byakuya is still concerned that he might be hiding something from the rest of them. He looks less tired these days, though there are odd bruises here and there that he waves off as a result of combat training alongside Bazz-B, who has taken an official place as the Sternritter meant to work alongside Renji.

That is fine with Byakuya. Bazz is one of the men who saved their lives. He is grateful.

Halfway through a report, a soft knock comes at his door, and he glances up to see a familiar face standing in the doorway of the room, one hand resting on the worn frame. “Ukitake-taichou, please come in. To what do I owe the pleasure of an unexpected visit?”

Ukitake Jushiro has the good nature to smile as he steps into the room, closing the door behind him swiftly before sitting down. Seeing him without Kotetsu or Kotsubaki trailing after him is odd, but Byakuya can tell from his expression alone that he wants to speak to him about something serious and so sets aside his work to listen raptly to the other man.

“I’m sure you’re aware, Kuchiki-taichou, but it appears the integration plan is working somewhat successfully. Most divisions have at least one member of the Sternritter working alongside them. Even the Eleventh.” Ukitake rolls his eyes slightly as he shifts in his chair and Byakuya snorts at the thought  _ anyone _ could ever work with Zaraki Kenpachi and not want to run him through with their weapon of choice in an instant.

“I’ve noticed, but I haven’t kept track.” He has a division of his own to run, after all. The Sixth does not take less precedence than this new relationship between the Quincy and shinigami. “I hope things are going well for everyone who has settled in.”

“Oh, they are. I mean… Some of the Quincy are  _ eccentric, _ but.” Ukitake leaves that here, and Byakuya chooses not to pick it up. He knows what Ukitake means by eccentric.

“How is Rukia settling in? Is there a Sternritter working alongside her now?” Though it is no longer his place to pry in Rukia’s life, Byakuya cannot help but be intrigued. The two of them work such different schedules and she keeps to herself at the barracks so often that they rarely see each other out and about these days except because of coincidence.

Ukitake clears his throat. “That’s what I came to talk to you about. How much do you know about the abilities of the Sternritter connected to their letters?”

“As much as I’ve seen and been told.” Byakuya remembers As’s demonstration for his division and smiles faintly. “They are able to naturally weird their bows, but their specific powers all vary based on the letter. Again, though, they’re connected to reishi.”

“Of course. And being here in Soul Society makes them very powerful.” Ukitake nods, and Byakuya considers this. He’d never thought of it that way.

“That would be true, considering how much reishi makes up our world.” After all, the Quincy built their world off of the back of Soul Society, using the reishi to hide in the shadows. Perhaps he should have been thinking about that sooner than now. “Is there something particularly abnormal about the Quincy working with my sister?”

For a moment, Ukitake is quiet. His gaze shifts to the window and Byakuya watches as a light breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees outside. He should take a stroll outside when he has a chance, drink in the fresh air and sunlight before autumn comes and a chill enters the air. Will As be affected by illness during the fall, or will it take until winter for the sickness he spoke of to rear its head? Perhaps Unohana can head it off for both of them.

“Her name is Giselle Gewelle,” Ukitake says, and Byakuya nods slowly. He recognizes the name, of course. Giselle is As’s dear friend from the Sternritter, and now that Ukitake mentions it, he recalls As telling him that the two of them went off together once. “I was observing their training together to note their progress as a team.”

That particular responsibility has solely been that of the captains; they have to watch their lieutenants work alongside the Quincy and determine how the partnership is working out. Shuffling people around is easy, and they need to determine the best possible pairs so that everyone will be fighting to as much advantage as possible. Byakuya has numerous notes about the way Renji and Bazz work together when they train.

He also, in the back of his mind, notices just how  _ friendly _ the two of them are with each other. How easy it seems to be for Bazz to just reach out and touch Renji like it’s nothing.

“Giselle is a friend of As’s. I’ve heard him talk about her,” Byakuya says.

Ukitake blinks at him for a moment, then clears his throat. “I suppose they would be friends if they’ve worked together so long. How goes the engagement?”'

“It’s going well. The two of us are suited for each other.” How clinical and dry a way to refer to it, but Byakuya… Does not want to label anything just yet. Is not ready for that, or sure that he can. “Now, as you were saying about Giselle. She’s working with Rukia? They must have gotten along when Rukia was showing her around the Seireitei.”

“She is, yes. The two of them have been getting along fairly well by all rights.” Ukitake heaves a sigh, and Byakuya thinks he sounds tired. He always does, but especially so now. “Giselle is very eccentric, and I mean that lovingly, but the other afternoon when the two of them were working together, Rukia dealt her a somewhat nasty wound. I think Giselle was purposefully pushing her to see how far she can go in battle.”

Byakuya is not surprised to hear this. He loves Rukia, but her relationship with her zanpakuto needs to be constantly tested and improved so she can one day achieve bankai. “I hope the wound was not too serious. What does this have to do with her schrift?”

“She was able to heal the wound.” Ukitake looks at him directly now, and there is a sharpness to his eyes that was not there before. But some of her blood touched several members of my division as they hurried to help her. And it… Affected them.”

“So her power is tied to the spilling of her own blood. Noted. Why have you come all this way to tell me this?” Byakuya does not like to beat around the bush so plainly.

Ukitake is quiet for a moment, then glances out the window once more. “Have I told you which Sternritter is working alongside me? Yhwach directed his royal guard to work with all of us, but he specifically asked a young man named Nianzol Weizol to work with me.”

“I can’t say I know the name, but I’m still in the process of learning about them all.” Mostly from As, who occasionally opens up and talks about them if Byakuya asks him to.

“Nianzol’s schrift is W for the Wind. I thought nothing of it.” Ukitake combs a hand through his hair slowly, winding the strands around his fingers. “I didn’t know what it meant, to be honest. I didn’t much care. We started sparring with one another as we should, and when he fired an arrow at me, I used Sogyo no Kotowari to redirect it back at him. Truthfully, I wanted to see how a Quincy handled reishi attacks.”

Byakuya rubs a hand over his chin thoughtfully and has to admit to himself that he and As have sparred not at all since he came here, though they probably should. Byakuya just can’t really bring himself to want to do it. “And at a much higher power. How did he do?”

“It never hit him. I did not miss, but it never struck him.” Ukitake shakes his head. “The Wind is a power that allows him to avoid being struck by attacks. Zanpakuto blades bend away from his body. In some ways, he is invincible. And the effect can be shared. He showed me, hiding in my own shadow while I sparred with my division. They could not hit me, not once. I assume we are paired together in case my lungs act up during a battle.”

“Foresight for such a situation is not a bad thing to have,” Byakuya says. “So, Giselle—”

“Her schrift is a Z. She kept telling people to guess what it stood for like it was a game for her.” Ukitake grimances. “It stands for the Zombie. Her blood causes people to fall under her control. She admitted she can bring corpses back to life to fight for her.”

Byakuya stills.  _ What? _ He knew some of the Sternritter abilities. He watched As’s Fear in motion when he saved Byakuya and Renji, watched the Adjuchas fall to its knees in terror. When Renji and Bazz spar, he has seen the Heat in action, flames that lick their way from Bazz’s skin like they are nothing. And by this point,  _ everyone _ in the Seireitei knows exactly what the Visionary does. Some of their powers are unavoidable.

“That’s a perversion,” he says, and Ukitake nods slowly and meaningfully at him.

“Rukia likes working with her, but… I’m uncertain as to whether or not it would be for the best.” Ukitake pushes himself up from his seat. “But it is her decision. I just wanted you to know, and to perhaps think about these things before you marry one of the Quincy.”

That has Byakuya’s head snapping up, his eyes narrowing. “Excuse me, Ukitake-taichou?”

“While I understand your duty to your family and to the Seireitei, if the Quincy turn out to be more dangerous than we can afford them to be, they cannot remain here around so many innocent civilians.” Ukitake studies his face, then turns and leaves the room.

Sighing, Byakuya leans back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. Of course, Ukitake is right. If the Sternritter are that dangerous… But that is foolish. Giselle’s powers do not denote who she is as a person, and it sounds as though the discovery of the Zombie was an accident. That she never meant to use it against anyone.

_ I’m sorry, Ukitake-taichou, _ Byakuya thinks, turning back to his reports,  _ but unless Giselle Gewelle harms my sister, I will not turn against my fiance’s dearest friend. _

He finishes his reports and steps outside for fresh air as he said he would, pausing at the training ground when he finds most of his division gathered outside to watch Renji and Bazz spar with each other. The two of them are certainly inventive in their techniques and Byakuya… Is admittedly fond of watching Hihio Zabimaru in combat. When the huge serpent rises to strike, it reminds him of the first time Renji used Zabimaru against him in battle. How he was struck by Renji’s determination then.

_ And now look how far you’ve come, _ he thinks, wincing when a rising stream of flames envelopes Zabimaru’s head entirely. The beast howls in anguish.

“The two of them make quite the pair, don’t they?” A voice asks, and Byakuya turns.

He never heard As walking up to stand next to him, but As’s footsteps are light and careful and so he is used to having the Quincy sneak up on him like this. “Did you come to pay me a visit while I was working? Tire of the library this early?”

“I was reading about shinigami history and it’s a very dry text.” As’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and Byakuya smiles. “There was a lot of interesting material, but it was admittedly too much to process all at once. I came to see how your day was going.”

“Well enough. I’ve finished my paperwork for the day and came outside to enjoy the sunlight.” Byakuya chances stretching out a hand, brushing a strand of hair away from As’s cheek. His fingers brush the edge of the mask, and As twitches slightly.

He takes his hand away, and As relaxes. “Well, it is a beautiful day. I think the good weather has been excellent for all of us. A nice change to the constant cold.”

“Will I ever be allowed to visit Silbern, or am I only going to hear you speak of it?” Byakuya asks. The idea of the ice palace has intrigued him since he first heard of it.

“If you want to visit my home, I would be happy to escort you there. Even though the weather is often very poor, it is still a beautiful palace.” As looks toward the training ground, and Byakuya follows his gaze just in time to see Bazz jam his elbow directly into Renji’s gut, sending him flying back several feet. “Oh, my. That looked nasty.”

Byakuya shakes his head. “He has a ranged shikai and bankai and lets Bazz get too close to him. That’s one of Renji’s biggest flaws. He doesn’t play to the advantage of range very often, and he pays for it when he can’t redirect his attacks quickly enough.”

“Some of the Sternritter have similar issues,” As admits, and Byakuya hums in interest.

Just standing here next to him is pleasant, more pleasant than it has any right to be, and Byakuya moves mostly without thinking about it, slipping his arm around As’s shoulders to keep him near. He might be imagining it, but he thinks Renji looks up at the two of them while aiming another attack at Bazz. One that misses him significantly.

_ Stay focused, _ Byakuya thinks.  _ You have no reason to let your guard slip like this. _

Senbonzakura nudges gently at his mind, trying to get his attention. _ Master, I believe it is the two of you together that provide such a distraction for him. _

_ Ridiculous, _ Byakuya retorts.  _ Renji has seen the two of us together on several occasions, and he knows as well as I do that As comes to visit regularly. He can either grow used to his presence here or continue to be distracted by absolutely nothing. _

_ With all due respect, Master, _ Senbonzakura murmurs,  _ I do not believe it is nothing to him. _

When the sparring session concludes, Bazz-B stands victorious, bruised and bloody in places as he holds out a hand and pulls Renji to his feet. There is a moment where they continue to hold onto each other before Bazz says something that makes Renji laugh and then lets him go, rolling the impressive muscles in his shoulders.

As applauds politely and then looks up at him, eyes dark beneath the spray of his lashes. “We should spar soon, probably. Learn to fight alongside each other.”

“Of course.” Byakuya squeezees As’s shoulder gently. “I think we have similar attacks, so it should not be difficult to find a way to combine them. We can start soon.”

“In private, first. Without the pressure,” As adds. “Perhaps in Silbern. We have a training ground for the Soldat, though the Sternritter are not meant to fight among one another. His Majesty wants us to get along, not to settle petty quarrels in a sparring session.”

Byakuya nods; it sounds like a fine idea to him. “Very well. I’ll look forward to seeing your home for the first time. You seem to be enjoying mine so much, though.”

“I am. The sunlight helps.” As tilts his face up toward it and closes his eyes.

Byakuya, for a moment, is struck silent. The way the golden light plays off of As’s features, casting dark shadows beneath his lashes and picking up the hints of color in his black hair is breathtaking. He’s beautiful, and not just on a surface level as Byakuya has slowly been learning. There is more to him than that, more that is interesting and worth learning about. More that Byakuya wants to do. Because it is proper, and—

_ No. _ Because he wants to. Admitting that is not easy for someone in his position, but he wants to get to know As inside and out until the space between them is miniscule.

_ Is it duty if you want to be with him? _ Senbonzakura asks, his voice curious.

To that, Byakuya has no answer. He only pulls As closer against his side and is unsurprised when an arm slips around his waist to squeeze gently there. They fit together well.

When Renji and Bazz walk past them to get cleaned up and cover their wounds, there is a moment where Renji’s eyes meet Byakuya’s. A moment where Renji’s gaze slides to where As stands at his side before meeting his once more, and there is a faint and bittersweet smile on his lips. What that means, Byakuya has no idea. But he lets Renji pass without a word, though something in his gut twists at this. Like he should reach out and say something… But no. There is nothing Byakuya has to say. He is sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna blue balls you guys on sex right now bc i wanted to write this instead


	16. Chapter 16

The Sternritter have their private meetings in a room that none of the Soldat can access, sitting around a large circular table with two open seats for his Majesty and Haschwalth. Today has been a quiet day by all counts, though As cannot truly say he has spent this much time away from Kuchiki Byakuya since the two of them agreed to the engagement. It would look poor to the rest of Soul Society should they not spend time with one another.

There are more empty chairs around the table as the Sternritter slowly filter into the room; Meninas and Gremmy are two of the last entrants, the latter bouncing on the soles of his feet and complaining. “I don’t get  _ why _ we need to have a meeting about  _ anything. _ ”

“You know as well as I do that his Majesty has seen more about this than we have,” Meninas tells him, rolling her eyes before moving to sit with her friends. “Bambi, I haven’t seen you in like a week. Where did you get off to for all this time?”

Bambietta Basterbine lets her head fall against the back of her chair and groans. “Keeping up with the shinigami isn’t easy. And Nanao is  _ all _ kinds of weird and strict about things.”

“Is that your girl?” Meninas giggles when Bambietta winks at her. “How interesting.”

“She’s very by the book and the law and I can’t even begin to tell you how not exciting that is. But she’s  _ real _ cute when I get her all flustered.” Bambietta laughs this time, and all the girls giggle. Except for Giselle, who sighs and plays with the heart case at her hip.

As shoots her a sympathetic glance, and she smiles thinly at him from across the table.

“What about you, Gigi?” Meninas leans past Bambietta to poke her on the shoulder, and Giselle’s head whips around so fast it looks like it might have hurt, her dark blue eyes guarded. “I’ve heard rumors that you’ve been spending time with one of the noble ladies.”

“Kuchiki Rukia. It’s… Something like that,” Giselle finally says, and Candice hums at her.

Gremmy takes one of the empty seats beside As and tips his chair back on the two back legs, propping his feet up on the table. Though As might be imagining things, he thinks Gremmy’s eyes— that unearthly and odd crimson color— are brighter these days. “As, do you know why we have to meet up here or what we’re talking about? It’s so sudden.”

“It’s always sudden,” As reminds him, and Gremmy pouts. “I assume his Majesty merely wants to ensure that everything is going well for all of us. We don’t meet as often as we used to because everyone is occupied either here or in the Seireitei.”

“Fair, I guess. How goes it with the uh, rich guy?” Gremmy raises his eyebrows— Which is to say, they disappear behind his bangs because his hair is unruly and he refuses to cut it.

For all of his quirks and flaws, As has always liked Gremmy, though he assumes his Majesty must have something up his sleeve to let the most powerful of the Sternritter run about rampant without anyone trying to watch over him. “Just fine. And how is the ice captain?”

“I don’t think he likes me very much on most days but we don’t get along badly.” Gremmy smiles up at him, and As chuckles behind his mask and shakes his head.

“That’s because you’re a brat.” The voice is Cang Du’s; he drops into the seat between Gremmy and Pernida and heaves a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “You can’t get along with people for more than fifteen minutes or it ruins the thing you’ve got going on.”

Predictably, Gremmy pouts up at him. “What are you talking about? We get along.”

“We do not get along. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re driving Hitsugaya crazy.” When Gremmy scowls up at him, Cang Du returns the expression, and As sighs. The two of them act like brothers sometimes— Brothers that squabble and argue over petty things.

It’s probably for the best because Gremmy needs some sense of normalcy in his odd life.

“What division are you even with?” Gremmy asks, pointedly ignoring the way Cang Du rolls his eyes as he fishes a game console out of his pocket and fires it up. Predictably, he’s been interested in video games ever since he accompanied them to the World of the Living just the once to help retrieve some younger Quincy before the shinigami could find them.

“The Ninth.” Cang Du makes an odd sound in the back of his throat. “Was everyone else here aware that some of the shinigami are like, Hollows? That’s just a thing, I guess.”

Askin pipes up from the other side of the table. “They’re called the Visored because they wear masks. Rose is one of them, too. It’s really interesting but we’re going to have to be very careful when we fight them. I’m not sure them breaking the skin is safe.”

In answer, Cang Du smiles just slightly. “Nah, it’s safe in my experience at least.”

_ What the hell? _ As shakes his head and peers down at his lap, fingers picking at the buttons on his coat when the door swings open and Bazz swaggers into the room, stretching his arms over his head as he goes. There is a large, dark mark on the side of his neck and when he sits down on As’s other side, it is easy to pick out the teeth marks pressed into his skin. It looks as though he and Abarai Renji have been getting along.

“You look well-rested,” Bambietta sing-songs, and Bazz flips her off. “Wow, rude, I was being serious for a change. So are you staying with the Sixth on a permanent basis?”

Bazz huffs at her. “How am I supposed to be able to tell? And yeah, I think so.”

“It’s about time you got over him,” Cang Du says, and Bazz flips him off, too. “It’s been centuries, dude, I have every right to give you shit over it. And the lieutenant from the Sixth seems pretty hot. Not as hot as the captain— I should probably shut up.”

As fixes him with a look. “No, by all means. Say whatever you want about Byakuya.”

“The two of you seem like you really paired up well, huh?” Bazz nudges him roughly in the ribs and As scowls at him, eyes narrowing. “Or maybe that’s a sensitive question, I don’t know. Sure doesn’t seem like you’re suffering as much as some other people are.”

“Your suffering is your own fault, Bazz. It’s hard to feel bad for you when you cause it,” As says softly, and Bazz smirks down at him, but his green eyes flicker with anger.

A soft voice cuts all of them off. “While I am sure that all of you must have so much catching up to do in the wake of being so very busy all the time, I would like to remind you that his Majesty frowns upon in-fighting among his beloved Sternritter.”

Jugram Haschwalth steps into the room alone, and As is shocked to see him not walking alongside his Majesty for a change. Per usual, Haschwalth is perfect. His uniform has been pressed and ironed and not a speck of dust or dirt mars the whiteness of it. His hair has been combed and brushed so that it gleams underneath the lights above them, a brilliant golden color that pairs well with his vivid green eyes. Everything about him is inherently flawless, though As has heard only from rumors that there is more to him than that.

“Apologies, Sir,” As says, bowing his head, and Haschwalth hums softly as he walks by with steps that seem to glide rather than proper walking. “It will not happen again.”

Bazz snorts but says nothing, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest.

“His Majesty will be with us shortly. He had some matters to attend to with Lille.” Haschwalth takes his seat at the head of the table and clears his throat, and everyone sits up a little straighter in his presence. “I trust relations between the Quincy and the shinigami have been good? I’ve received no official complaints from any of you.”

Everyone nods. No one speaks against Haschwalth. He commands respect as their leader and Grandmaster and would do so even if he was not attached to their king.

Haschwalth nods and sits upright in his chair. “As I thought. His Majesty will be with us shortly, so try not to bite each others’ heads off in the meantime. It is unbecoming.”

His Majesty does come to join them within minutes, Lille Barro in his shadow as they step into the room together. When As came to Silbern, he was told in the very beginning that it was unusual to see Yhwach and Lille apart for long periods of time. The two of them are the oldest of friends and companions, and it shows in how they speak and act around one another. Even now, Lille hooks his foot around the leg of his Majesty’s chair and pulls it out for him before taking his own seat. His Majesty sits between Haschwalth and Lille at all times, the ultimate offense and the ultimate defense. The ultimate protection.

As wonders in the back of his mind if Haschwalth is ever jealous of the bond there.

His Majesty takes a deep breath before speaking. “My Sternritter, I am glad to see all of you in attendance. It is not always that we can gather here together as a group.”

Gremmy, with his eyes still focused on the screen in front of him, lifts his head just slightly and looks at his Majesty. And As wonders if he’s upset about that, how he is often kept away from such matters. Isolated, almost, because of the strength of his powers and what they could do if he was not properly using them.

“I want to touch base with each of you privately to ensure that everything is going well for you in the Seireitei. If it is not, I want to find the problem and end it.” His Majesty clears his throat and he looks at them meaningfully. “While it would be ideal for there to be no problems and everything to go smoothly, I understand that strong personalities and differing ideals often clash, and I do not want any of you to suffer as a result.”

As makes himself stop touching the buttons on his coat so he can focus on his Majesty, though it is hard to keep his mind from wandering. Does he have any complaints? Life with Byakuya has been perfectly fine. In fact, As… Is content at his side. Is almost happy to be there, because Byakuya seems as gentle and kind as As always imagined a future partner could be if he were to find someone ideal enough to spend his life with.

No complaints, then. The two of them get along too well for that.

Haschwalth’s hand lands gently on his Majesty’s arm. “We are also aware that many of you have been working on improving your combat skills with the shinigami, and we have chosen to lift the order denying the Sternritter to do battle with one another. As long as you are only training, you are allowed to work together. Nothing more and nothing less.”

_ Training together? _ As assumes they must have something greater in mind.

“Grandmaster, if I may?” Askin lifts his hand a little, and Haschwalth nods in his direction. “Some of the shinigami are questionable, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable working with them. The captain of the Twelfth blatantly abuses his daughter in front of people.”

The corners of his Majesty’s mouth turn down. “Is that so? We’ll talk aside about this. If any of the rest of you have similar complaints, by all means, lay them at my feet.”

There are a few, but As himself has none and remains silent until the bulk of the meeting has been included. When his Majesty clears his throat, though, As lifts his head.

“Another discussion we need to have, of course,” he says, “is about the reason why we chose this path of peace instead of one of war. We have decisions to make.”

When the meeting officially concludes, As waits patiently at the table while his Majesty speaks to other Sternritter before clearing his throat. “Are we allowed to bring the shinigami to Silbern? Kuchiki Byakuya asked if he could come by to visit.”

His Majesty raises an eyebrow. “Did he, now? Did he say why he wants to come?”

“To see the home I grew up in.” As knows the words sound false, but his Majesty simply does not know Byakuya the way that he does. “He knows that Silbern, the Sternritter, and your influence in my life are all very important to me, and I think he wants to see those for himself. To appreciate them the same way that I do, or at least try.”

“Silbern has always been a very important place to you, has it not been, As Nodt?” Haschwalth asks as he stands, straightening the front of his coat.

His Majesty leans back in his chair, looking thoughtful. “I suppose I hadn’t thought far enough ahead to the fact that the shinigami might want to visit. It seems you have swayed him quite a lot for him to think of our home as anything he should desire to see.”

“I take no credit. I have tried nothing.” As knots his fingers together in his lap and takes a slow, deep breath. “But I promise such a thing will not impact our goals. It may… He might be able to see the value in them, if he sees this place. If he comes to understand.”

Haschwalth frowns at him. “Now, on that note, I think it is important to remember—”

“You may be correct in that line of thinking, As,” his Majesty interrupts, and Haschwalth closes his mouth. “Initially, I did not believe any of the shinigami capable of seeing our point of view. But if one of them, and an influential shinigami at that, could do so…”

As clears his throat. “I believe he cares for me, your Majesty. I could be arrogant in assuming such a thing, of course, but his actions and behavior lead me to believe so.”

“And how do you feel about him?” The question comes from Lille, whose eyes are trained on him. “You’ve been awfully quiet and kept to yourself for as long as I’ve known you. I just wanna make sure you don’t feel pushed into anything because someone is nice to you.”

The concern is sweet. “Byakuya is more than just nice. And I do have feelings for him.”

Admitting it out loud makes it feel; As knows this. Perhaps he wanted to keep it to himself for a while longer, just to see if the feelings would stop, or if they would fail to mature, but he knows better than that. Just being near Kuchiki Byakuya makes him feel safer and happier than he has in quite some time, and he has no desire for it to stop. Rather, he wants to keep these feelings and let them blossom into something greater.

His Majesty’s smile is kind. “That’s good to hear. You’ll keep him away from anything that might be deemed sensitive, I assume. I don’t see why we can’t have him come for a visit.”

“We’ll have to make some arrangements for a guest bedroom if he wants to stay for more than just the day,” Haschwalth muses. “That is, unless he’ll be in your room, As?”

The true question is not lost on him. “Of course. We already share a bedroom.”

“Then by all means, invite Kuchiki Byakuya for a visit. He can bring his sister or his lieutenant if he chooses to do so, but that is it. I don’t want too many people venturing in and out of Silbern unless they have a member of the Sternritter to shepherd them around.” His Majesty nods, considering the matter settled, and stands.

As breathes a sigh of relief as he, too, stands, and bows his head. “Thank you, your Majesty. I’ll ensure that everything is taken care of before I bring him here.”

After all, there are some matters that As needs to keep set aside for a later date in time. Only once he is certain of Byakuya’s loyalties can he ever tell him some of the harsher truths of what being a Sternritter entails, and what they stand for, and the goals they are trying to achieve with one another. Though As has faith in Byakuya, such important matters cannot be rushed, and he does not want to put Byakuya in an awkward place.

In the future, though… Perhaps once the two of them are married and when As knows for certain that Byakuya will stand by him, he can tell him the truth.

For now, he leaves the meeting room behind and finds a deep patch of shadows at the end of the hallway to make his entrance back into the Seireitei. They always hold their meetings in the evening just before his Majesty rests for the night, and the sun has sunk beneath the horizon as his feet touch down on familiar ground. Not far from the Kuchiki manor, just as he planned it. Not far from his fiance and the future they have together.

_ I have so much faith that you are going to understand everything. That you fight for what is truly right, not what the law says is right. _ As sighs and smoothes out his countenance as he walks toward the house.  _ We shall see how you fare when you are in my territory. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit. what is that.


	17. Chapter 17

As is not in bed when Byakuya wakes up in the middle of the night and reaches for him.

His dreams as of late have been confusing to say the least; he sees Hisana’s face in them more often than he wants to, reminders of his past and everything he lost along the way. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he pushes himself out of bed and looks around the darkened room, but there is no sight of his fiance. Resigned that As might have gotten up in the middle of the night for whatever reason, Byakuya heads downstairs to Hisana’s shrine to light fresh incense and sit with her for a few moments.

In life, Hisana was frail, fragile, and delicate. She was like a flower carefully tilled from the earth, freshly-parted petals and sweet fragrance. Too beautiful and gone far too soon; Byakuya thinks of her every time he sits in the garden with his own thoughts.

He never had reason to believe in soulmates until he held Hisana in his arms the first time.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had much time to spend with you,” he says as he kneels down, his hands resting on his thighs. Sleep makes his eyelids heavy, but he shrugs it off. “I think that’s why I’ve been seeing you in my dreams. I feel guilty not remembering to talk to you.”

There are so many regrets where Hisana is concerned. That he never went to the Rukongai to look for Rukia with her. That he never tried harder to take care of her. That he never got down on his hands and knees and begged Unohana to save her. He trusted Hisana to know when to stop without ever realizing that to her, stopping before she found Rukia was not an option. By the time Byakuya figured that out, she was on her deathbed.

He talks with her for a few moments before heading back to bed only to discover that As has not reappeared from wherever it is he’s gone. It makes him slightly anxious; the meeting with the Sternritter left As exhausted and quiet, though he simply said it was because of in-fighting when Byakuya asked what was wrong. That seemed fair to him at the time; the Gotei Thirteen has more than enough of that to go around.

Byakuya opens the balcony doors and steps out, looking down on the garden, eyes narrowing in the darkness. The moon is new, but… There. Just by the koi pond. As is outside.

_ I wish he’d come to me if he was having trouble sleeping, but I understand why he wouldn’t. _ Byakuya retrieves a robe from the closet, dons it quickly, and heads downstairs to the garden entrance so he can ask his fiance why he’s sitting alone in the dark.

The gardens at night are just as fragrant and lovely, but Byakuya pays the flowers little mind as he tracks down where As is sitting: the stone bench by the koi pond. Even in the darkness of the night, his Sternritter uniform is startlingly white. It almost glows.

“You weren’t sleeping in your uniform when we went to bed,” Byakuya muses. “And yet—”

As cuts him off without looking away from the water and the fish. “And yet I’m wearing it now. Yes, Byakuya, I put it back on. It would be easier to leave if I was fully dressed.”

“Leave?” Byakuya stills just a few steps away from the bench, then makes himself sit down. “Are you leaving? Did I do or say something? I know you said the meeting was stressful, but I thought giving you space was the right thing to do. Was I wrong?”

“No, you handled it well. I’ve just… Decided that tonight is when I’m going to take my mask off in front of you, and if you react poorly, then I’m going to leave.” A gloved hand drifts up to the heavy black leather, and Byakuya winces at the sight of it. He hasn’t seen As wear it since he’d taken it off; he always changed out of his uniform as soon as he returned from a meeting, and Byakuya is usually busy when he does.

Byakuya nods slowly, stretching out a hand to take As’s in his own, lacing their fingers together. “You have every right to leave if my reaction is negative to you.”

As is quiet for a moment, then he slowly tugs his hand away. Byakuya lets him. “I can’t imagine what it was like for you when you came out in a place like this one.”

_ Oh. _ “It was… Some people were frosty toward me, but my parents were supportive. I don’t think my grandfather was pleased, but he followed my father’s example. In hindsight, I was lucky. I’ve learned that I’ve had more support here than many others have.”

“Luck was not on my side. My family was not interested in my presence anymore after I told them.” As folds his hands in his lap, and Byakuya watches the way his shoulders twitch and tremble. The memories… They must be horrendous. “Most of my friends abandoned me. I knew to expect this, so it came as no surprise, though it still stung in a way.”

Gently, Byakuya touches his shoulder, then curls his fingers around it and squeezes as carefully as he can. “I’m sorry you went through that. It must have been very difficult.”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I was prone to illnesses in the winter, so I spent a lot of time in hospitals. I had to undergo certain procedures. I learned to hate them, so I… Never really wanted to pursue medical transitioning surgeries as a result. Being in those rooms made me too skittish and nervous.” As sighs and tips his head back, and the stars fill his eyes with an inhumanly beautiful light. “I had a partner who reacted… Poorly.”

“A boyfriend?” Byakuya asks, and As nods slowly. Frowning, Byakuya waits for him to continue. He has heard of romantic partners acting fine, and then snapping one day in the future. And he wonders if it has to do with what is beneath the mask.

When As looks at him, his face is grave. “We’d been dating, but I guess… He didn’t know.”

“He didn’t know you were trans?” Byakuya wouldn’t have guessed either, to be honest, if As was still layering intensely in his life before becoming a Sternritter. Maybe it would have been easy to hide. Byakuya’s never had to think about hiding it.

That’s a privilege, and he knows it. One greater than he can even put words to.

As shakes his head. “I hadn’t told him. I wasn’t even thinking about it. Mostly, I was just surprised anyone was interested in me. I thought… He talked about being open-minded, so I thought he knew, maybe. That he’d clocked me and didn’t care. Until I undressed in front of him, and he just. Screamed at me. Accused me of lying to him. Tricking him.”

“The bastard.” Byakuya has to fight to keep his voice even and calm now.

“Why would I ever want that? A relationship built on a lie. How could I keep it hidden forever, anyway? Why would I  _ want _ to trick him?” As looks back at the koi pond, heaving a sigh that rolls through his entire body. “That’s what they all say, though. We’re lying, we’re trying to trick them, to scam them. Like this is fun for us. Like it’s fun to suffer.”

Byakuya eyes the mask and is smart enough to put two and two together. “He hurt you.”

“He did. He splashed my face with acid. A lot of it missed, but what didn’t.” As touches the mask and winces, and Byakuya wants to tell him that it’s fine. He doesn’t have to show the marks, the scars, if he doesn’t want to. “I’m going to show you now because you need to see. Because I need to see your reaction and decide if this can still work.”

Swallowing hard, Byakuya nods once. “Of course. That’s perfectly understandable.”

“It’s easy to hear a sob story and say you’ll stay by someone forever, but… It’s not always as easy as people make it out to be.” And with trembling hands, As reaches for the mask.

Byakuya doesn’t know what to expect, even with the wide range of injuries he’s seen and had as a member of the Gotei Thirteen. When As slowly unbuckles the mask and lowers it to his lap, though, Byakuya’s throat tightens. His eyes sting at the back, and it takes him a very long moment to remember he needs to stop and take a breath.

As doesn’t have lips. Byakuya assumed there would be some scarring, but nothing like this. The flesh around his teeth is raw-looking, deep red in the worst places, and it looks like it would hurt to touch it. No wonder he prefers not to wear the leather mask.

No wonder he prefers to eat and drink where Byakuya could not see him like this.

“This is it.” As’s voice is… Softer, still, without the mask. “This is what he did to me.”

Byakuya’s heart thuds broken in his chest, but he ignores the splintering pain as he examines the wounds carefully before raising his hand to cup As’s cheek. “Does it still hurt? I can’t imagine something like that ever truly being painless.”

“It does from time to time. The leather can make it feel especially raw, but it’s best to wear something sturdy and secure on the battlefield, and so I wear it.” As closes his eyes when Byakuya carefully touches the ragged edge of one scar, testing the texture of it against his own skin. “I know it looks monstrous. I’ve seen it in the mirror.”

“If you expect me to think you a monster, I’m going to have to disappoint you.” Byakuya’s other hand raises slowly so that he frames As’s face between them, waiting for those dark eyes to open and look up at him. “You are still you whether these scars are here or not. Why would I think less of you? You were strong to have survived this.”

As catches him by the wrist, and his grip is panicky tight. “I did not  _ survive _ this. I wanted to die. Only his Majesty’s intervenience in my life kept me from the brink of death.”

That  _ hurts. _ Byakuya takes a slow, deep breath to compose himself. “Then Yhwach must be an incredible man to have saved your life, and I’ll thank him for that personally when we visit your home. Now, if you would like to leave the mask off in my presence—”

“I don’t understand how it can be so easy with you.” As’s eyes drift down but Byakuya shifts closer to him, urging him to look up once more. “I expected you to hate me. To think these scars… A deformity. It’s what they are. It’s how I view them.”

“Though I understand why, I don’t view them that way. And I won’t.” Byakuya smiles gently at him, and As sighs softly, some of the starch seeming to leave his muscles.

Though he should drop his hands now, Byakuya leaves them in place, stroking his thumb along the corner of As’s mouth. It seems to soothe As more than anything else has, and he shifts closer, close enough that Byakuya risks slipping an arm around his shoulders to pull him in close. He’s trembling slightly through the layers of his uniform.

_ He really expected the worst out of me, though I can’t say I blame him.  _ After all, Byakuya can’t imagine what it’s like to live with a burden so heavy. One he feels he has to hide.

As has been through so much more than he has. The least Byakuya can do is be patient.

When As pulls away from him, Byakuya lets him. He isn’t expecting to have those wildly dark eyes pinned on him, though, nor that intense expression. “Byakuya…” He trails off, turns his head away, but Byakuya reaches for his hand and takes it, giving it a gentle squeeze. Reminding him that he can say whatever he has to say.

When he looks up once more, though, his face is determined. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course.” Byakuya doesn’t even have to think about it, and the slight widening of As’s eyes—  _ surprise, even though you asked me— _ has him shifting forward to kiss the Quincy on the lips before he can startle himself out of it entirely.

The kiss is awkward, of course, but Byakuya doesn’t mind so much. He slips his arm around As’s waist and cards the other through his long black hair, gathering a handful of it up at the nape of his neck to keep him close. He can feel the shape of As’s teeth against his lips, but again, he doesn’t mind. It’s just something to get used to, another facet of him that is different than Byakuya has known. He can’t look at it as something bad, something negative, not when it’s a part of As. A part of the man he agreed to marry.

The man he  _ wants _ to marry, he reflects. He  _ wants _ to make this decision.

When the two of them part for air, Byakuya pulls As forward against him. “We’re going to have to talk about this eventually. This isn’t… It’s not just an arrangement now.”

“It’s not,” As agrees, and Byakuya hears him fidgeting a moment before slender, bare fingers slide up the length of his back. “I don’t truly want it to be. I don’t think you do, either. You don’t marry for love and then let yourself get shackled to a stranger.”

The phrasing is cruel, but Byakuya relents that it is accurate. “You’re right. But you’re not a stranger, at least, not now. You’ve let me in so much.”

“You’ve let me in, too, in your own ways. You aren’t quite so formal and cool around me anymore.” When As smiles up at him, even in the darkness, Byakuya can’t help a small smile in return. He’s made the effort he has because he wants As in his life.

“I don’t mind having you so close.” Byakuya catches As’s wrist and splays those long, cold fingers against his chest roughly where his heart is beating. “I would ask only that you take care of my heart. It’s been broken… Quite a few times in my life.”

As’s smile is soft, so gentle it almost hurts. “I understand. I’ve been through some of the same, and then some. I think we’re well-suited for each other as a result.”

“I agree with you. However, I don’t think the garden in the middle of the night is quite as romantic a spot to have this confession as I’d hoped it’d be.” Byakuya shivers. The cold is coming sooner rather than later, and he knows this, but he’d ignored it for just a moment.

As cups the side of his face, and Byakuya looks down at him. “Then let’s get to the point. I love you, Kuchiki Byakuya. It took me far too long to puzzle it out fully.”

“I love you, too, As Nodt.” Byakuya leans down to kiss him again until a harsh little breeze makes them both shiver. “Now let’s get back to bed. It’s so late.”

They stumble back into the house together, Byakuya shutting the door and locking up tight behind them before he takes As by the elbow and leads him to their room. On the way, they pass Hisana’s shrine, and he spares her a meaningful look as he passes by.  _ Thank you for showing me what love could be. I don’t think I could have ever found it again. _

He closes the doors behind them once more and As is there, pressed up against him, leaning up to kiss him once more. And Byakuya kisses him back, gathering up handfuls of that long dark hair like spun silk sliding softly between his fingers. He’s tired, but he feels light on his feet at the moment, his stomach fluttering softly at the thought of something new, something fragile but with a firm enough foundation that he trusts it.

He trusts As Nodt, whatever that may say about him.

They break so As can redress for bed, and when he joins Byakuya on the mattress, Byakuya pulls his slender back up against his chest and squeezes him close, wrapping himself around As as tightly as he can. “Sweet dreams. Let me know if you wake in the middle of the night, and I’ll make you tea so you can go back to sleep.”

“Sorry to have dragged you out of bed in the middle of the night.” As’s hands settle on top of his own, lacing their fingers together. “Not as sorry as I should be. Thank you for coming to find me and for accepting me. I do truly love you so much.”

Byakuya hides a smile in all of the dark hair. “I love you, too. Now get some sleep.”

When As’s body relaxes in his arms, Byakuya cuddles just a little closer to him and lets himself breathe for the first time in a long time. Lets himself  _ exist  _ here, wrapped in the warmth of this moment with a man he loves. A man he would be happy to stand across the altar from. A Quincy who walked into his life to save it, who shared so much of himself tonight, who told Byakuya that he loved him. His heart feels too large for his ribcage.

He tucks his face into As’s hair and reminds himself to talk to Rukia about this in the morning and touch base with her to make sure things with Giselle are going fine.

She’s going to be happy to hear that her nii-sama is in love once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're ready to meet a punk lesbian next chapter

**Author's Note:**

> small brain: finish your works in progress before starting more
> 
> big exploding galaxy brain: new wip! new wip! new wip!
> 
> if you are anti-quincy/anti-sternritter/anti-yhwach then this is not the story for you. i'm rubbing my "i love the sternritter" hands all over this story and we're all just gonna have to deal with that whether we like it or not.
> 
> also lmao unrequited byaren because i have no self-control.


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